It's pretty hard to believe that I started this blog in 2006 and here I am, nine years later, still looking back to it for inspiration and to remind me where I came from. So many things have changed and I have grown so much, while ever shrinking. 

I hit a big goal of mine recently. I'm not breaking up with Lane Bryant quite yet, but we're rocky. 

For the first time in my Dutch life, so 11 years, I walked into a regular old store, and put on a regular size dress. The exchange went something like this:

me: That dress is awesome. I'm going to go in and try it, just to see how far I have to go still. 

Grabs biggest size they have. 

Gets the dress on. Like... ON. 

Walks out to see myself in the mirror. 

store employee: Oh, that looks a little big, let me see if we have a size smaller. 

me: umm yeah, there is no way my booty is fitting in a smaller size (thinking: did she not see the size of my ass?!?!?)

store employee: Just humor me, I think it's going to be great.

me: _______________(lost for words as I am still stunned I got the dress on. Like ON!)

Apparently they pay this women the big bucks for a very good reason. Not only did I fit in the smaller size, it fit me like a glove! 

So yeah, here is the dress that drew me into the store:

And I happened to walk in on the "buy one get one free" sale. It's like the gods of weight loss were looking down on me saying "throw that woman a BONE". 

I've turned a major corner recently, recently being the last three years but more so in the last five months. I have been focused, consistent, powerful, true, honest and lucky. I dare not jinx it too much by saying how awesome shit is right now so I will just leave it with that. Life is good.

I'm still here! Still working. Still fighting the good fight for myself.

It's been a million years since I've blogged on this blog (okay, about two years, ever the exaggerator) but if any of you are still reading, I am still "here" as in focusing on health and weight loss. I am still having success. I am still working out 3-4 times a week and eating mindfully and healthfully. I still have my moments of struggle but for the most part it's very "lather, rinse, repeat".

I recently had this picture taken in the gym and thought it was a perfect opportunity to share here.

Pictures not showing up anymore?

I have no idea what happened to all of my pictures on here and why they're not showing up. Anybody have any helpful hints?

I'll try to reload some but man, I'm not going through years of blog posts and redoing all of my pictures!

I'm still here!

I'm still here! I'm probably more "here" than I have been in a few years!

I am still swimming. Two to three times a week, depending on my husband's shifts.

I am working out now in our company gym two days a week, and three if I can sneak it in. I'm lifting heavy and doing some BATATA training. I go in the slow times of the day, so every time I'm in there I get a personal training session pretty much. I have a gym pal, Carolyn who is a great support and good, healthy, competition! Funny thing seems to be that the more I work out, the more contagious is seems to be at work. More and more people are asking "hey, are you going to the gym today" and wanting to work out together! NICE!

I am working closely with the trainers on my nutrition. I'm eating between 1800-2000 calories a day. It's the first time I've been able to log my food and still feel in control and not all obsessive. It's also the first time that I realize I have to eat good quantities of food and not try to go with as little as possible to sustain myself. It was hard to get used to, the whole "eat more than 1200 to weigh less" but it seems to be working for me.

My body is feeling tighter and smaller although I'm not seeing great leaps and bounds on the scale. It'll come though. I feel so strong and am enjoying myself and my workouts!

blub blub

I kept my promise to myself and I did get in some exercise over the last weekend. I swam together with Sadie and trust me, that's a workout! My little girl is quite a fish and is twice as slippery once we're in the pool. She's a huge fan of the slide too which means lots of stair climbing. One and a half hours of pool play makes this Mommy wore out for the day!

So far this week, I've kept with the fish theme and swam two more times, Tuesday and Thursday. I really feel like I'm back in my swimming rhythm and am not having too much difficulty getting my tush out of bed and into my swim gear, which includes a lovely blue swim cap, goggles and snorkel. Yes, I said snorkel! Don't worry though, I make a snorkel look cool, I'm sure.

I guess most of my weight and struggle now lies with being patient and letting the work I'm doing have time to, well, work! I don't feel that old panic of "I have to lose weight NOW" but I am feeling a bit impatient. I am trying to keep a balanced mind and not rush myself or expect too much. There is always that nagging feeling of "well, if you skipped this food and worked out even more and even harder..." but that's what old-pre-Novarum-pre-getting-it-together-Sarah would say. I am not skipping meals or snacks anymore. I am not cutting out food groups anymore. I am not doing anything extreme anymore. I never want to be back in those awful toe pinching shoes again. I don't ever want to be back in that pattern of manic weight loss, followed by guilt laden binges and weight gain, followed by another manic fleeting attempt. Rinse lather repeat. That ship has sailed. Bon Voyage!

I will admit though, I could put some more effort into exercising. I know lifting weights is extremely beneficial to weight loss and over all health and I do plan on starting to lift once the gym at my work is open but until then, as that could be as late as April, I could easily put in my Wii Fitness Coach and do a session of strength training with her. (typed in my whinniest voice possible) But once I get home from work, play with Sadie, get her in bed and eat dinner I just don't feel like doing anything else.  I am sure it's one of those things, like swimming, that once I build it into my routine it will be much easier to stick with but just making that step to do it the first couple of times seems gigantic right now. I'll work on that. That's a promise.

What goals have you promised to yourself that you would take a stab at but are dragging your feet at getting started?

I hope you are all having healthy, successful weeks!

GOAL!!! Week 1 - swim 3 - DONE!

I knew that if I didn't go today I risked making up an excuse not to go on Friday and making it virtually impossible to meet my swim goal this week, since swimming on the weekends is WAY too crowded and doesn't fit in well with our schedules. So, up I got at 6am and really kicked (and paddled) some ass! I was red faced and mildly sweaty when I hopped out of the pool, which is hard to do when swimming in a cold pool!

So now it's Thursday and I've worked out three times, like I intended. I made my goal. Now what? Do I just wait until next Monday when it's time to swim again, giving me a three day break or do I plan for some exercise over the weekend, maybe a bike ride or some walking? This is a rhetorical question, as I already know my answer. Either Saturday or Sunday, some form of movement will be made. I may just put in the Just Dance 4 for the Wii that Santa brought me that is still sitting in its cellophane wrapper. Nothing like having fun AND getting in a work out!

Weekends seem to be my biggest downfall when it comes to logging my food on My Fitnesspal. It's not that I eat bad and don't want to log the evidence. I just can't be bothered to log at the time I am eating or I think "oh I'll do that later" and then totally forget or it gets too late and I can't remember what I ate anymore. I even have the MFP ap on my phone but I don't carry my phone around. It's so easy to forget what you've eaten and go over a couple hundred calories in a day without realizing it. Multiply that by two days and you've got some damage there. This weekend my goal is to log as I'm eating or even before and really finish this week on high notes!

And there you have it folks. I'm feeling just hunky-Dory!!!!

I hope you're all having healthy, fantabulous, successful weeks!

Week 1, swim 2 - done!

Of course I start the week saying "okay, I WILL swim three times this week" - while in my head that meant I will swim on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And of course, just to test me, life throws a wrench in my plans and I had to schedule a dentist appointment and the only time he could get me in was Wednesday at 7:30am. Really?!?!?

What's a girl to do? I got up (with the help of super husband Marco again) and swam today! I very, very easily could have skipped today and told myself "I'll swim Thursday and Friday" but the chances that I would feel like doing two days in a row at the end of the week were more slim than the chances that I would feel like getting out of bed again at 6am today.

It ended up being a fantastic swim! I did 22 laps! That means I swam 1100 meters, 1.1 km or 0.68 of a mile. However you prefer it to be written, that's some movement! My goal is to get up to swimming a full mile (1600 meters or 32 laps) in the 45 minutes that I'm at the pool in the morning. I may have to increase my time to a full hour in order to really get the mile in but at least it's something to shoot for. The closest I have ever come is 25 laps, 1250 meters or .77 of a mile and when I finished that swim I was sweating and sore for two solid days. I don't want to push too hard, too soon, but push I will!

What are some of your exercise goals?

I hope you're having healthy, successful weeks!

Swim 1 - Sarah 0

Holy crap man. Today's swim kicked my arse... and my arms... and my legs. I can't believe, well, I can't really believe a couple of things:

1) How much I must have done over the past year to build up my condition by swimming

and I realize point 1 only because I noticed point two:

2) How much I must have been slacking in December because today's swim about killed me.

Seriously!

I only swam for 35 minutes because the pool was exceptionally crowded and not with the typical silver bullets (old silver headed folk who don't get out of your way or feel they need to share the lanes) but my arms feel like I swam the English Channel! My quads are a wee bit shaky but my arms feel like lead. I've got two zeppelins hanging from my shoulders who are of absolutely no use to me. I can feel both my biceps and triceps just begging for mercy. What a workout! And what a way to start off my week!

I'll admit, it was tough getting up at 6am to swim and I have to really give credit where credit is due... my husband is the biggest and best support system a girl could wish for and always has been. As I was sitting bedside, telling him how hard it was to get up and asking him "should I go" (when I know good and well I SHOULD GO!) he said to me "If you want to get in three swims this week you should. I know it's really hard, but you're a strong woman and you can do it". That's all I needed was his boost of confidence in me and I was up and running, er, swimming.

When I pulled into the parking lot at work, I remembered my other goal, to take the stairs and not the lift. Ugh. I briefly tried talking myself out of it. I really did want to find some reason that I SHOULDN'T walk up those stairs but in the end I decided, come hell or high water, I didn't want to be the one standing in my own way of success. So I clambered up to the 3rd floor (4th by American standards) and huffed and puffed for a few minutes before entering my workspace. My legs, who were already shaky from the swim, were not quite Bambi-trembling but it came close. I predict by this time next week, they should get used to it and it should only take me a good 30 seconds to catch my breath at the top.

As well as the other goals I mentioned in yesterday's post, I forgot to talk about logging my calories in the My Fitness Pal website. It's something I started doing last year but got off track somewhere around November and just haven't gotten back into it fully. My goal is to log my food solidly, all week long.

It seems I am off to a good start! How has your first week of the new year gone?

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

Goals - let's set some realistic ones...

I've realized that I  have been missing out on what was a very successful part of my weight loss initially. I am missing having little goals. Better yet, I am missing the thrill of meeting and beating those goals, giving me that confidence boost that sometimes a person just needs. So why don't I put some stuff in black and white and see how it goes.

I am going to try to swim three times a week, every week this year. That means every time my clock goes off at 6am I am going to have to say to myself "I like being fit more than I like being overweight". This, my friends, is going to be a challenge! 6am is awful early in the dark days of winter. Three times a week though, at 45 minutes per pop, it's not like I'm shooting for the stars, it's a very attainable goal! I can do that.

I am going to stop taking the lift  elevator at work. I have been looking at the stairs for a couple weeks now, battling in my head how I should make myself climb up the three floors, but I can always humor myself into the elevator somehow, justifying it with some bullshit line. No more. It's stairs for me.

I've been slacking on eating my fish through the week, even though I really do like fish. I dislike cooking fish because I'm just crappy at it. I overcook the crap out of it and I never know what herbs really go well with it. I end up with tilapia almost every time and end up topping it with mustard of all things. I know that's not a combination that I EVER see at a restaurant so I'm sure there are better alternatives. I do eat canned tuna usually 1-2 times a week. Since my cafeteria at work usually offers fish in at least two dishes through the week I'll try to eat some there. My goal will be fish in at least 3-4 meals a day.

I have stuck with only having one can of diet coke per day and that's made me pretty happy. I wonder if cutting out that one can would really make a difference of if, mentally, I would feel like I am punishing myself. I know when I go to lunch I look forward to that sweetness, the bubbles, the chill of it. I'll shoot for having it every other day at work (since I don't drink it on weekends anyway) and see how that goes.

I'm still eating my two fruit per day, so I can't really set that goal again but I am sure I don't get in 3 veggies per day, so having a veg at lunch is going to be a goal of mine.

On top of swimming, I need to find another form of exercise. Once my gym opens at work, I'll lift there but, what if that doesn't happen until June... am I really just going to sit around and wait until then? I have the Wii Fitness Coach that has strength training options on it. I will try this out and see how it goes before I set any real goals with it.

I have tossed around the idea of walking during my lunch break but I just can't seem to stick to that routine. I'll revisit this idea once winter is over and spring...springs!

So there are just a couple actually pretty small changes I can start with. These goals feel good. They feel attainable. They don't feel overzealous or like it will be too much pressure on me to be perfect. Seems I may have actually learned some life lessons with Novarum. Still the best choice I ever made!

What are some of YOUR goals for this year?

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

Weight Loss is a Marathon - Running Backwards

One of my "rules to live by" is to try to think as weight loss as a marathon, not a sprint, meaning, slow and steady wins the race. Well how freaking slow is SLOW?!?!? My weight loss has stalled (and crept up) since MAY of 2012... that's absolutely NO loss and a bit of gain. What in the world? Am I running the marathon backwards? While at Novarum they told me it would take probably 6 years to get to my goal weight and of course I thought "nope, not me, I'll do it quicker" but with this most recent stall, I am starting to think they were onto something there. God, 6 years seems like a LIFETIME but whichever way I choose to go, 6 years from now will be 6 years from now, so it's up to me to decide how I'll look and feel when that time comes.

I hate to be a cliche, but the new year, January 2013, has inspired me to re-dedicate myself, once again, for the hundredth time over, to a healthier lifestyle, because another "rule to live by" is "I'll quit when I'm dead" and I'm not dead yet and I don't plan on being in that state for quite some time!

I am still planning on swimming 3 times a week, minimum. I will be back in the pool tomorrow morning, 6:30am sharp. My office is opening an in-house gym this year and once that's open I plan on lifting weights while at work, using swimming as my cardio, so then I get a good balance of overall work outs. It is something that I really miss from the gym when Marco and I joined so many moons ago. I really LOVED lifting weights and how it made me feel and I am truly looking forward to starting again. Also, in the warmer weather, I hope to add bike riding to my cardio as well.

I am still tracking my calories on My Fitnesspal, although not as religiously as I should be. Weekends are the worst but I'm going to try to be better at that.

I need to re-visit the idea of making small goals every week and focusing on that, as that really did work well for me and I have gotten out of the habit.

So, if there is still anybody out there, reading, popping in on occasion to check on me, don't count me out of this race yet, even if everybody else has crossed the finish line (or worse, dropped out). I'm still here, I'm still (and yet again) dedicated and I am still focused on getting healthy.

This is how I looked back in May (the last time any real weight was dropped) and it's pretty true to how I look today, if you would add a bit of bulk under my chin). Let's see what this May will bring!  

Here is to 2013 being a healthy, successful year!

Yikes

Last week was killer. As you know I'm just back to work and last week was the first week that I worked during the day and Marco worked evenings. Sadie's sleep was all over the place and I hardly got any at all. I was exhausted. This week is starting out much better.

I still need to update my stats on the side but I *think* I am down a couple pounds (1 kilo) from my first weigh in. That said, I'm still having lovely side effects from the pregnancy like huge water retained puffy feet (not every day but about every 3rd day) so I'm not so sure my weigh in is a true reflection of what my weight actually is. I'm increasing my water intake and really watching the sodium, which I always have done anyway... and I think it's all hormonal because there is no rhyme or reason to it.

Another fun side effect left over from the pregnancy is good ole aunt flo. I had a period two weeks ago and low and behold, another one this week. YAY! That of course also makes me retain water as well. I don't know how long it will take for my body to regulate itself again but it can be up to a year. I hope not but what can ya do?

Food has been good. My eating, although not perfect, not that it ever was, it going pretty well although I can see where I need to improve (snacking at night for instance).

We've arrived!

Just a quick note to let you all know we've arrived safe and sound, with all luggage, dog...the works... and everything went smooth and, really, better than we ever could have expected a trip with a 13 month old to go. We're working out the sleep issues but otherwise having a super duper time so far!

My Tired Aching Feet

Broken Record

I'm still here. I'm still losing (or trying to lose) weight. I'm still swimming. I'm still keeping up with all I've learned at Novarum. I'm still hovering around my May pre-vacation weight of 117 (I go from there to 119 to 116 to 120, to 118, you get the idea) which is just pissing me off, really, but of course quitting isn't an option (AS IF!).

I have so many other things going on in my life that this poor old blog has gone by the wayside but I'm going to try to be better about updating it. In the end, I do want to tell my long weight loss story, as a whole, if anything, just so I can go back and re-read the road I've been down. So feel free to yell at  me if you don't hear from me at least once a week. You have my permission.

(and apparently I don't get emails anymore when somebody leaves a comment on my blog so here's a quick THANK YOU to those who take the time to leave me a little message!)

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

Missed one swim, caught another

Last week we had a team building event that included crashing around a race track in go-karts for a couple hours (did you guess that the team is made up of 11 men and two women? good). Needless to say the next day I was sore, especially my back! I ended up skipping my swim and laying in bed for a bit of rest. I think it was a good choice but it meant I only swam twice last week. I did get in a couple smaller walks for some added exercise though to try to balance it out a bit.

My Friday swim was awesome. I seem to be pretty consistent in being able to swim 20 lengths (1 kilometer, 0.6 mile) with each swim if I'm able to use my snorkel. On those days when I can't because there aren't enough lanes, I concentrate on just kicking and using my arms hard and making myself sweat, rather than lengths I'm swimming. It's hard to believe I've been swimming for three months now. I'm still loving the pool like crazy.

I'm getting ready to go on vacation in the U.S. for a little over three weeks. I will whole heartedly admit that I am both excited and scared to death of it. Last year when back from vacation it took me months, seriously 6 or 7 months, after returning to get back into my weight loss groove. I had gained weight while away and just couldn't find my excitement around it. I lost and gained the same 4-5 pounds over and over those 6-7 months and it's just been since February that I've been back at it, full force. I have been working so hard at getting into some sort of "condition" for my swimming that I fear missing it for three+ solid weeks. Yeah, we'll be able to swim in the U.S. but I don't think it will be anywhere near what I am doing here. I'm planning on going to a local gym to get in some cardio. I think what happened last year was that I never moved during that first week there. Non-movement just led to further non-movement and then the tons of the vacation was set. This time around within the first week I want to have worked out at least twice. It'll be tough due to jet lag and strange schedules, but if I was to succeed I need to work out a way to make sure I do it. I'm not trying to be perfect or even LOSE while I'm there. I'm just trying to keep the gain to a minimum and keep my head on straight, in a forward motion to meeting my goal weight.

So this week I plan on swimming four days just to give myself that extra sense of self and to kind of reiterate my dedication to... well to myself and my health. I'm mentally revisiting all of the ideas and plans that DEWY helped me with at Novarum so I have a plan of attack in place for those food issues that I will run into.  Next Saturday we're off to the USA and vacation begins!

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

Proof is in the pudding?

I know I just said the proof is in the pudding in my post below but it also helps to see some positive numbers on the scale as well. This week I dropped another 0.8 kilos, 1.76 lb, bringing my current weight to 117 kilo even, or 257.4!

I had my usual swim this morning and was winded and warm (borderline hot) by the end. I don't know if you realize this but the pool is cold in the morning. Like, so cold I have to tip toe around for a bit before I just suck it up and submerge myself, so getting hot in the pool is actually pretty difficult. Felt awesome! The silver bullets were at a minimum and the one I shared my lane with was perfect. He was slower than me and we had a good pace set so that we were never too much in the other's way.

Short on time but wanted to give a quick update because I'm totally pumped for success this week! Hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

So I realize this blog just isn't about the words. The proof is in the pudding (as long as it's no-sugar and low fat, right?

Well here is a little proof that I'm pretty proud of.

This picture there was taken at this time last year when I was in the USA visiting with my friends and family. (hi Rachel!)

And this is me this year 20 pounds lighter (but 44 pounds lighter than when I started at Novarum in late 2010). Big difference in my face!

So yeah, pass the pudding!

250's 250's 250's... SOLD! To the lovely lady right there...

Monday weigh in this morning and guess what girl got herself into the 250's weighing-in at 259.16 (117.8 kilo). THIS GIRL DID!

Whew! I didn't think I'd EVER make it to the 250's but BAM, there is was. In all reality, I knew I'd make it there but holy moly did it ever take it's sweet time. Slow and steady may win the race but does it count if the participant is nutso by time they cross the finish line?!?

What this means is:

• when I lose 2 more kilos I will be 10 kilos (22lbs) away from my all time lowest adult weight.
• when I lose another 4.2 kilos I will be in the 240's, with 249.9!
• I have lost 42 pounds since starting at Novarum, meaning I only have 60 more pounds (26.9 kilos) to lose to be under 200!
• I'm looking forward to the point where I have actually LOST more weight then I need to lose further in order to meet my first big goal!
• swimming is working for me and I freaking LOVE being in the pool!
• My Fitness Pal is working for me and I LOVE logging my food (this, in itself, is a miracle)
• All of the lessons I learned at Novarum are working for me!
• keeping up with making small goals and celebrating small victories is working for me!
• I am working for me!

Man, I am just PUMPED for this week! I plan to swim three times at least and maybe get in a bike ride over the weekend.

I did swim Friday but didn't blog about it because I don't know how to say 'pfffffffffffft' in more words than that. It wasn't a great swim and I just couldn't get into it. The silver bullets were out in full force and I felt I was doing more dodging than swimming. I did go to the pool yesterday as well for just a fun swim with my kiddo and hubs but while they were going down the slide I tried to sneak in some laps and kicking exercises. I managed to get my heart rate up a couple times in the hour and a half we spent there so I felt pretty good about sneaking in some extra work.

I hope you are all having healthy, successful weeks!

Is it ever okay to kick a silver bullet?

There is one silver bullet in the pool that's got radar on me, I swear. No matter which lane I'm in she seems to always manage to want to swim in the very same lane. Now I realize it isn't MY pool and it's not really MY lane but even with being new to the swim scene I know common courtesy.  You don't just focus on yourself, you have to watch out and give way to other, faster swimmers. You don't splash. You don't zigzag across lanes. You don't pee in the pool. These are things everybody knows yet some people don't feel they need to follow. This silver bullet doesn't move. Not for anyone. Not for anything. She starts out on her line and doesn't fudge one single inch.

Imagine my dismay this morning when I got to the pool and only two lanes were dedicated to open lap swimming. One for the quick swimmers, one for the "breast strokers". Oh and you know Miss Granny Pants (aka Radar) doesn't miss a day! Everybody fell in line according the the unspoken rules. We all went up on the right and back down the pool on the left. Even Radar managed to join in. How it came about that she thought she had to swim around me and ended up kicking me I'll never know but she did. There I was, swimming away, minding my own business and WHACK! I was already saying "mag niet uit" (roughly "make nothing of it" in Dutch) because it didn't hurt or anything but then I saw who it was. Her! Radar! My swimming nemesis. She did managed to sputter "sorry hoor" as she swam away but there wasn't any real feeling in it. She wasn't really sorry!

Later Radar tried making a joke with me about something else in the pool and I'd love to say I had some witty retort all ready for her but no... instead I didn't get the joke until about 15 seconds too late and by that time she had swum on. Doh! Foiled again! It's not that I'm not quick witted... in ENGLISH... but throw a joke at me in Dutch and it takes me a bit. I'll get there... but not nearly as snappy as I do in my native language.

I vow to you though... I'm going to get that silver bullet. You mark my word. That 90 year old is going DOWN!

Another day, another swim...

Finally managed to get back into the pool today. Granted it has only been three days but it felt like a lifetime!

Today's swim was... different. About halfway to the pool I realized that I had managed to forget pretty much everything in my bag, except for my towel, so I had no goggles, no cap, no snorkel. I went ahead on anyway and decided I'd just do my best.

Once in the pool made another executive decision that today I wouldn't count laps, since I would indeed be slower with my head above water the entire time, so I just concentrated on other things like making sure I could feel my muscles working with every stroke and really kicking my feet hard and strong. I alternated my laps, one breast stroke and then backstroke on the way back in order to keep my shoulders and neck from hurting.

It actually went really well I felt. I think I probably did as many laps as usual but I used totally different sets of muscles with the backstroke, which felt great. I think I may start alternating strokes more frequently just to make sure I'm working all of my muscles with each swim. I plan on going three more times this week so I'll have plenty of opportunities to try the method out!

Oh and of course, my Monday weigh in... wasn't stupendous but it was okay. I dropped another 1/2 pound, weighing in at 118.7 kilos or 261.1 lbs. My eating this weekend was fairly sodium laden, at least more than what I usually eat but it wasn't 100% awful either. For the first time in 20 days I had gone over my calorie suggestion (by My Fitness Pal) and I actually repeated that three days straight. Not my post proud MFP moment but I was honest and I didn't let it make me feel anything, no guilt, no shame, no punishing myself the next day. In fact, I hardly thought about it at all. No obsessing. Nuttin. It was kind of nice. I struggle on the weekends when I don't have my routine of "wake up, eat, go to work, eat snack at specific time, go to lunch at specific time etc." I am trying to work some structure to those days but right now it's still pretty hit and miss.

And that's all she wrote for today! I hope you're having healthy, successful weeks!