A note from Mommy...

Dear Sadie,

Hello sweetheart! This is your Mommy, Sarah. Today is your due date my little pumpkin. That means that this is the day that you're supposed to arrive so me and Papa can finally meet you. We've been so excited for this day to actually get here!

I just got back from my appointment with the midwife (the lady who will help me bring you into the world, she'll be one of the first people you get to meet) and she doesn't seem to think you'll be coming out to play today. That's probably a good thing because it's very rainy right now. Maybe you're waiting for good weather?

Papa's been talking to you a lot lately in my belly. Have you been listening? He's been asking if you're ready to come out and play. I know you can hear him because when he asks you questions you kick me. When you kick me, I kick Papa, just so he can share in the experience. He doesn't like that very much but it makes me laugh. Maybe you're laughing too when you kick me?

We've got everything all ready for you. We've packed two different outfits to take to the birthing center with us in two different sizes just in case you're bigger than we expect. When we got to see you're pretty little face on the 3d ultrasound ten weeks ago the doctor said you were very long for a 30 week old baby so I'm sure by now at 40 weeks along you're even longer and stronger! Don't worry though we have plenty of clothes for you in all different sizes so you just come on out here whatever size you want to be, okay?

We've got your cradle all ready for you too. We've washed the sheets so they're nice and soft for you and it's just waiting there for you at the end of our bed. Every once in a while Papa will rock it and sing a little song just to make sure he's in good practice for when you really are here. We even have a special little doggy for you that plays sounds of the womb to help you sleep. Papa thinks this will be your favorite stuffed animal and that you'll carry it with you everywhere. I think he may be right.

I know you hear your four legged brother Scooter barking sometimes. He's excited to meet you as well. Every morning he goes into your room to eat his breakfast. I think he's just checking to make sure you didn't come through the night without him knowing. He may look a little funny and will probably steal your food when you get a bit older but I think you guys will be best buddies.

Have you been listening to the songs we've been making up for you and singing every day? The 'shoe shine shop' song is a song my Grandpa used to sing to me when I was little. It's a tongue twister! Your cousins, Jordi and Milan, have learned it too and they will sing it to you as well just as soon as you arrive. My favorite song though is the Sadie Sadie song... you know the one... it goes:

Sadie Sadie, such a little lady
Sitting on the porch and drinkin lemonade-y

Who's that girl with the curls in her hair?
Oh that's my Sadie I'd know her anywhere.

Who's that girl with the twinkle in her eye?
Oh that's my Sadie she's my little pumpkin pie.

Sadie, Sadie, such a little lady
sitting on the porch and drinkin lemonade-y.

Papa and I sing that song to you every day. Once we start it gets stuck in our head. I even sang it in my dream last night. I hope you come out soon so we can sing it together while I rock you in my arms. I think you'll like it a lot out here.

Anything you could possibly need we're ready to give to you. We have stored up lots of hugs, kisses, cuddles, laughs, tickles, sways, rocking, bouncing, love... anything you want... we're ready to give to you. We're ready to read you stories. We're ready to change your dirty diapers. (Papa gets super pooper duty!). We're ready to make you feel safe. We're ready to let you feel loved. We're ready to kiss your scrapes and bumps. We're ready to teach you new things. We're ready to watch you learn and grow. We're ready for you sweetie. Just come whenever you can. We're ready to be your Mommy and Papa. We love you Sadie.

Love,
Mommy.

2 o'clock and all is well

Or 2 o'clock and all is not well, depending on how you look at it. Still no signs of Sadie. I was awoken last night with stomach pains but they were the same pains I've been having since I was about 30 weeks along. They have nothing to do with me going into labor but everything to do with gas/intestinal problems, a joy of pregnancy. This is the first time I've ever experienced them while sleeping though. They usually strike when I am walking around. I still don't know what causes them. I'm assuming it's lack of room in my stomach so she is pushing or cutting off my intestines somewhere (now THAT'S a pretty thought) causing me the problems but I am definately looking forward to no longer having these problems once she is out and I can reclaim at least that part of my body.

Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend! Tomorrow is THE due date. We shall see if little Miss Sadie Pants is punctual.

Flipping the bird

So here I am, 11:59 p.m. on the 18th of July flipping the bird to the day, the full moon and the prospect of it being Sadie's birthday. So much for that theory.

Now I'm onto the theory that she will come on her due date, Monday July 21st. So it looks like I'm giving myself the weekend off of thinking "is that a sign of labor" or "could this be it?" because you know what, it's not labor and no Sarah, this isn't it.

Did you drop something?

Because I did. Sadie has definately "dropped" meaning she is low low low in my pelvis causing obscene amounts of pressure and making mommy walk around like a rodeo rider. Howdy cowgirl!

I was in a lot of pain (more uncomfortableness than pain) yesterday. I had those terrible intestinal pains again on top of her dropping and causing pelvic uncomfiness with every step. The bottom of my belly is extremely sore and tender and I could have sworn that yesterday was going to be "it". Oh how very wrong I was, once again.

I'm no longer leaving the house alone to go long distances because when the pain strikes I really can barely move on my own. We were in the forrest with the dog yesterday when they struck and our normal 10 minute walk back to the car took me at least 25 minutes. Macro was with me luckily but I just don't dare to go running around (HA! more like weeble-ing around) on my own.

Today is the full moon. I hope it does it's magic and brings this baby out into the world to meet us!

It's 12:30 here and all is well

No sign of the munchkin yet. I am having some pressure/uncomfortableness in my lower pelvis but I guess that'll happen when you have a baby laying in it. I'm also having what is refered to in the pregnant world as "lightening crotch". It's when you get a shooting pain suddenly, out of the blue, with no warning and it sends your hands directly to your crotch, huntched over in pain no matter how inappropriate of a place you are in to be grabbing your crotch (the grocery store, on a walk in the neighborhood, at your in-laws house). It stikes you so suddenly, in a flash, like lightening, hence the name given, "lightening crotch". Lightening crotch is not fun and I do believe that my cervix will never be the same.

So, so far no Sadie today but you have been updated on the happenings in my genital region. Now you can rest well, no?

No progress... nothing new to report

As a faithful reader gently suggested, I should probably keep you all more in the loop as the impending birth nears so you all aren't sitting in wonder if Sadie's arrived or not and how we're all doing. So here's today's update... I'm still here and I'm still pregnant. LOL Nothing has changed. Well I may be even bigger and her lungs may be a little stronger now but otherwise not much is different than it was yesterday or the day before or the day before that. I keep meaning to have Marco take another picture of me but I can't seem to find the wide lens for the camera anywhere. HAHA, that was a joke, but really I will try to get a 39 week picture for you guys soon. Possibly tomorrow.

The excitement and anxiety is unbearable at times but I'm trying to keep my mind occupied. This is an almost impossible feat most minutes of the day. Oma and Opa Aarssen are calling daily to check if there is any progress. They are so excited. Today they brought over a little Dutch treat that you give to guests when a baby arrives just so we'll have it already once she comes. (I don't personally care for the treat itself, it's a dry cracker type biscuit about the size of a rice cake and they smear butter on it and then sprinkle it with either pink or blue candy sprinkles that are generally anise flavored but it's a very well know and expected Dutch treat so we will have it!). They're excitement is sweet.

My Mom is emailing daily so her and my Dad can check on us. Today she woke up and had a "feeling" that it could be the day. I hope she's right. She is also counting down the days until her visit which makes it even more exciting.

I'm receiving emails from friends and family double checking on how I'm doing. It's all very sweet and very thoughtful. It's nice to know that we're being thought of by so many people!

In the meantime, Alexandra the Great, my friend who did the mural, finished up Sadie's name to hang above her crib. Here's some pictures!

Still here, still pregnant.

Firstly, thanks for all the really sweet comments on my post below. You guys are the best and sure do know how to make a pregnant woman cry (happy tears!).

My sleep schedule is all out of whack. Usually I'm in bed at 9:30 - 10 oçlock. This is pre-pregnancy. I just am not a night owl. That said, I am a morning person and generally up at the butt crack of dawn ready to start the day. Well here lately around 11 (so already well past my bedtime) I get this spurt of energy. I can't sit still, I can lounge around and relax... I have to get moving. So my sweet sweet darling husband, even with his long hours at work, has been so kind to go on late night strolls with me. We wander around the neighborhood with the dog and it feels so good. It's the best time of "day" for me. I feel energized, my feet don't ache, it's cool outside... it's just a relaxing time. By time the walk is finished I'm usually yawning and ready to try to get some rest. Sometimes I'm able to, sometimes I still toss for a while but for the most part these evening strolls are pretty darned helpful.

Of course when you're not going to bed until 2 in the morning you don't feel quite as perky at...say..7ish. In fact I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't been out of bed before 10 a.m. for the past 4 or 5 days! Some days it's even been (gasp) 11:30! I haven't slept this long since my club-alcohol-dancing until your blistered days and those have been long gone for years now. I would love to feel guilty but I just don't. I feel fantastic actually. Maybe this is what my restless legs have been trying to get me to do for weeks now but being stubborn I just wouldn't give in.

And then, to make things worse (or better depending on if you're a glass half full person) some days I take a nap in the afternoon! Yes, I wake up to welcome the afternoon and by 3 am back in bed sleeping! It's insane. I've never slept so much in my life!

I am wondering how this will effect me once the baby arrives. Is she also going to be a night owl? Is that what my body is telling me? Yes, she is kung fu fighting between 11 and 1 a.m. every evening so maybe this is a given but is this sleep pattern my destiny? It's fine for now while I'm on maternity leave but once I am back to work I don't think my boss or colleagues will appreciate me strolling in around noon-ish no matter how good I feel. Maybe it's my body's way of preparing me for labor? Maybe I'll be pushing Sadie out around 11-1 which explains my sudden spurt of energy.

Who knows... maybe it's just a fluke. Whatever it is, I'm doing what works for me now no matter how bizarre I find the pattern. It's all just a learning curve at this point.

Only 8 more days until my official due date. I'll be 39 weeks tomorrow and will try to post another recent picture. I like to imagine all of your eyes popping out of their sockets as you witness my ever expanding belly. Feel free to leave a comment and post your bets on when little Sadie Marie will be arriving! Winner gets... well you get the satisfaction of knowing you guessed right... LOL Well, unless I can come up with something a little more interesting. I will be busy with a new born and all though, I'm sure you understand. Thanks for all of your wellwishes and thoughts! If you could only send some labor vibes now, that would be wonderful!

I'm still here...and still pregnant.

Oh yes, I am still here and still very pregnant. Not that I should expect NOT to be still pregnant since I'm not due until the 21st but it would be totally 100% okay with me not to be pregnant anymore and to be holding little Sadie in my arms.

I've been having a bit of a rougher time than usual lately. I am very uncomfortable (I'll post a 38 week 1 day pic below and you'll see why). I can't stand for long periods or even long enough to finish the dishes because my hot-itchy-swollen feet won't allow it. I can't massage them myself because I can't reach them without totally winding myself.

I can't sleep at night. I just can't. It's an impossible task. Prep for baby care, probably.

I am having heartburn like crazy but thank God for Zantac.

I can't sit on the couch because it's too low and squishes up my belly when I sit there making me unable to breath. I've read that oxygen is kind of necessary.

I can't tie my own shoes... again it totally winds me.

I can't walk the dog very far because of aforementioned winding.

Getting up from the bed winds me. For all this winding I could fly a fleet of kites.

Sadie's little kicks are no longer cute little awwwww kicks. They are cowabunga-drop-kicks to various body parts including the crotch and ribs at the same time. The crotch kicks make me feel like I have to pee so each time I get up and pee... well I get up and sit on the toilet and drip.

Not only that, after struggling with infertility for 2.5 years before finally getting our wish to become parents I feel so extremely guilty for not being super miss perky pregnant woman. I know tons of women who would die to be feeling all of the things I am feeling right now but you know what, that doesn't mean it is all fun! Yes, I wanted this baby more than anything in the world and my God I would't give up this time for the life of me, but holy hell I'm ready to be done being pregnant and moving on to the next phase! Bring on the 2am feedings, sleepless nights, colic...whatever you want to throw at me. I'm ready!

Oh and here's my 38 week and 1 day picture. Weebles, they wobble but they don't fall down!

16 - that's a nice number

16 was the magical age that you received your freedom and the keys to the car!

16 Candles, great Molly Ringwald movie.

16 tons, what do you get, another day older and deeper in debt. (a song my Dad used to sing)

16 is a size I still have to get to. I was almost there pre-pregnancy (18).

16 ounces are in each pound you lose.

And last but not least....



16 days until my due date!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you all had a happy 4th of July!

Happy JULY!

I cant believe that THE big month has finally arrived! THE month being the one Sadie s due to be born in! Yesterday in the evening we went and just sat on the floor in her room and looked around, played with her toys, swung her swing and talked about what it will be like to finally hold her in our arms.

Marco's become a pro at putting on the bjorn (baby carrier) and is taking his fatherly role very seriously.

I just can't believe that it's here! July! Yay! I've never been so excited for a month before.

Finally, after 3 years and 4 months from when we first started trying for a baby this journey is finally coming to and end and our new one is beginning! I am one of the luckiest women in the world!