I wish that every day when I woke up in the morning and check my email there would be a meal plan for the day sitting there in my inbox. Ideally, I would open that email and gasp at the wonderful things I would get to eat that day, all the while staying within a certain calorie range, let's say 1200 - 1400 calories per day.
This website would also use normal, every day ingredients, not fruits and vegtables that need to be flown in from all corners of the earth. Just typical, every day stuff that I can find at my grocery store.
This would also help end the age old dreaded question of "what's for dinner" because some brilliant little website will have already answered it for me. I could just look at my husband and say "looks like grilled salmon, lemon pepper cous cous and steamed cauliflower tonight sweetheart" instead of my typical (while rolling my eyes and audibly gasping) "oh I don't care, just whatever you feel like, wanna get pizza?".
(surely with all of the crap floating around on the internet and all of the millions of websites out there something like this exists and I am just too foolish to find it via my google search?)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Good things I've done recently
- I took the stairs about 4 or 5 times Friday at work.
- I drank two bottles of water at work
- I ate a decent breakfast this morning
- I planned two healthy dinner meals in the past three days
- I didn't take that second brownie, even thought I wanted to very, very much
- I stopped eating the cookies in the cupboard even though the thought in my head was "go ahead and polish off the pack".
- I did some exercises while I hung out at the house today. It wasn't a body pump class by any means but I think every little effort counts.
- I decided not to dwell on my negative feelings as "this, too, shall pass".
- I allowed myself to lean on others (virtually and in real life) in my "time of need" and I am taking their encouragement and cheers with me wherever I go.
- I know that I have done this before, and I know I will do it again. Not doing it is just not an option. It never has been and it never will be. I have too much to lose by not being healthy.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Heavy stuff, and I'm not talking about my weight (well sort of)
I’m just going to put it out there because if anything, I’ve always prided myself on being honest in my blog. What’s the use of sharing information with “the world” (or both my readers LOL) if I’m just going to regurgitate bullshit and make everything seem shiny, happy and perfect. That’s not the life I live (although many aspects of it are shiny, happy and perfect) and it’s not the life of most of the overweight people that I know who are struggling to get the pounds off and let go of their emotional baggage live day to day.
I’m feeling frozen and it has nothing to do with the biting winter weather we’re having. Paralyzed almost is how I would describe it. I feel like I’m hiding from myself, if that makes any sense. Boo! There I am again and what I see scares the crap out of me. Boo is right.
I seem to be searching for something, not knowing what it is. Is it spiritual? Is it emotional? Is it physical? Is it all in my head? It may be all of these or none of these but I seem to be searching none the less. Is it all weight loss related… no, not really, but it does play an enormous part, pardon the pun.
While I am playing hide and seek with myself, I am also feeling wound up, flustered almost. A bit nervous but not nervous but on “the edge”. The edge of what? The edge of flipping out? The edge of a breakthrough? The edge of finding out what it is I am both hiding from and seeking out?
I’m feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed at what lies before me, the task at hand. Overwhelmed at the volume of weight that I want to lose, even though I know I can only lose one pound at a time. I have the tools available to me, and they’re with me all the time. They’re all in my head. Why am I not using them? What am I waiting for? Why is this so overwhelming when I know it doesn’t have to be? Why am I back to where I was in the beginning, looking at the BIG picture when I know I need to concentrate on the pixels that make up the image instead.
I’m feeling underwhelmed in other aspects of my life, I don’t feel like I’ve “done” enough. I haven’t done enough good for my fellow man. I haven’t done enough for my family. I haven’t done enough to allow myself to feel satisfied with my life. What is enough? I don’t have enough time. I don’t get enough sleep. I don’t have enough patience. I don’t have enough talent/will power/discipline/_____ (fill in the blank with whatever you please because Lord knows, Sarah, you’re just not enough). And in the same thought I know that’s not all true and I know it is THOSE thoughts that are self defeating, pushing me further from my goal, weight loss or not weight loss related.
But what is it that’s going to make me happy? I have a sneaking suspicion I know (being able to really write, be published, follow through with my “dream”) but maybe it’s a pipe dream that I think will make me eternally blissful but that delusion could be exactly that, just a mirage of happiness that will disappear as soon as I reach it? Will I ever get the chance to know that?
I never know what I’m going to get either. It’s like every morning I wake up roll the dice to decide how I’m going to feel that day. I shake those dice up hoping for “Yahtzee!” Sometimes the roll of the dice coincides with the step on the scale. Sometimes it’s connected to my hair, good or bad hair day. Today will I feel powerful, in control? Maybe, sometimes I do. Today will I feel accomplished? Maybe, sometimes I do. Today will I feel scared and intimidated by the goals I have set for myself? Maybe, sometimes I am. Today will I feel numb? Never. That’s one thing I never allow is to just walk around numb to my emotions. Maybe I should try it.
I am so overwhelmed by my weight loss. Absolutely gobsmacked. Frozen. Paralyzed. I am scared to death, to be completely honest. I did get on the scale today to see that I haven’t budged from last week, or the week before, or the week before that, or the week before that. Not that I’m surprised. I haven’t done jack to drop any weight but it is constantly on my mind. I am overwhelmed by it, which is just absolutely silly. I even told myself on the way to work today “quit thinking of losing all this weight and think about losing one pound, that’s all you have to do” All I have to do is lose one pound. That makes so much sense and that’s really how I should look at this.
I keep telling myself all of these wonderful things. All of these positive things. All of these really genuinely good things (that worked for me in the past, none the less) but I’m not buying what I’m selling. Why not? I’m a trust worthy vendor. I would never rip myself off. I believe in the things I am saying but I seem to have reverted back to “Sarah 2006” and that was not a nice Sarah to be, to myself.
I’d love to wrap this up with a positive “I’m going to do it” cheer, a big virtual team smack on the ass and go on my way but that wasn’t what this post was about. This, for me, was just getting this out there. Letting you all know where I am, how I am and what’s going on in this screwed up little head of mine. This is my reality at this moment. Where do I go from here…
I’m feeling frozen and it has nothing to do with the biting winter weather we’re having. Paralyzed almost is how I would describe it. I feel like I’m hiding from myself, if that makes any sense. Boo! There I am again and what I see scares the crap out of me. Boo is right.
I seem to be searching for something, not knowing what it is. Is it spiritual? Is it emotional? Is it physical? Is it all in my head? It may be all of these or none of these but I seem to be searching none the less. Is it all weight loss related… no, not really, but it does play an enormous part, pardon the pun.
While I am playing hide and seek with myself, I am also feeling wound up, flustered almost. A bit nervous but not nervous but on “the edge”. The edge of what? The edge of flipping out? The edge of a breakthrough? The edge of finding out what it is I am both hiding from and seeking out?
I’m feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed at what lies before me, the task at hand. Overwhelmed at the volume of weight that I want to lose, even though I know I can only lose one pound at a time. I have the tools available to me, and they’re with me all the time. They’re all in my head. Why am I not using them? What am I waiting for? Why is this so overwhelming when I know it doesn’t have to be? Why am I back to where I was in the beginning, looking at the BIG picture when I know I need to concentrate on the pixels that make up the image instead.
I’m feeling underwhelmed in other aspects of my life, I don’t feel like I’ve “done” enough. I haven’t done enough good for my fellow man. I haven’t done enough for my family. I haven’t done enough to allow myself to feel satisfied with my life. What is enough? I don’t have enough time. I don’t get enough sleep. I don’t have enough patience. I don’t have enough talent/will power/discipline/_____ (fill in the blank with whatever you please because Lord knows, Sarah, you’re just not enough). And in the same thought I know that’s not all true and I know it is THOSE thoughts that are self defeating, pushing me further from my goal, weight loss or not weight loss related.
But what is it that’s going to make me happy? I have a sneaking suspicion I know (being able to really write, be published, follow through with my “dream”) but maybe it’s a pipe dream that I think will make me eternally blissful but that delusion could be exactly that, just a mirage of happiness that will disappear as soon as I reach it? Will I ever get the chance to know that?
I never know what I’m going to get either. It’s like every morning I wake up roll the dice to decide how I’m going to feel that day. I shake those dice up hoping for “Yahtzee!” Sometimes the roll of the dice coincides with the step on the scale. Sometimes it’s connected to my hair, good or bad hair day. Today will I feel powerful, in control? Maybe, sometimes I do. Today will I feel accomplished? Maybe, sometimes I do. Today will I feel scared and intimidated by the goals I have set for myself? Maybe, sometimes I am. Today will I feel numb? Never. That’s one thing I never allow is to just walk around numb to my emotions. Maybe I should try it.
I am so overwhelmed by my weight loss. Absolutely gobsmacked. Frozen. Paralyzed. I am scared to death, to be completely honest. I did get on the scale today to see that I haven’t budged from last week, or the week before, or the week before that, or the week before that. Not that I’m surprised. I haven’t done jack to drop any weight but it is constantly on my mind. I am overwhelmed by it, which is just absolutely silly. I even told myself on the way to work today “quit thinking of losing all this weight and think about losing one pound, that’s all you have to do” All I have to do is lose one pound. That makes so much sense and that’s really how I should look at this.
I keep telling myself all of these wonderful things. All of these positive things. All of these really genuinely good things (that worked for me in the past, none the less) but I’m not buying what I’m selling. Why not? I’m a trust worthy vendor. I would never rip myself off. I believe in the things I am saying but I seem to have reverted back to “Sarah 2006” and that was not a nice Sarah to be, to myself.
I’d love to wrap this up with a positive “I’m going to do it” cheer, a big virtual team smack on the ass and go on my way but that wasn’t what this post was about. This, for me, was just getting this out there. Letting you all know where I am, how I am and what’s going on in this screwed up little head of mine. This is my reality at this moment. Where do I go from here…
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Time management is a foreign concept
Since Sadie's been born "time management" has become a foreign concept. It's been simply "survive" mode. Eat when you can, sleep when you can, bathe when you can, pee when you can... you get the idea. Do what you need to do to get through the day and survive. Not complaining about her or the situation AT ALL, I couldn't be a prouder, happier parent (although I COULD be a better rested one) but I'm just saying, our life if much different now and one of those major changes is how we spend our "leisure" time.
We used to have the luxury to go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week. We used to be able to properly walk the dog to get in some extra leg work. Now, if we'd join a gym they'd have to be open between then hours of 10p.m. and 6 a.m. because those are the times that we have now for "ourselves". That's totally never going to happen this century in the Netherlands, such accomodating hours for the non traditional person or family. Just not going to happen.
I took a writing workshop over the weekend. It was part of my Christmas present and I was really really looking forward to it. I have expressed how much I like to write here before and that still rings true. I love to write but alas, writing flies to the back burner and off of the stove altogether so quickly that it doesn't even begin to steam (as my loyal blog reader know, poor things!).
To say "I learned a lot" in this workshop would be unfair. Unfair to me, unfair to Lisa, who hosted the workshop and unfair to my writing. This workshop moved mountains, almost literally for me. The mountain that stood in front of my writing, Time Suck Mountain, as it's come to be known, is still standing there. What this mighty little workshop did was, it strapped on some dynamite, boarded the train and blew a hole right through Time Suck Mountain. By blowing a hole in the mountain, besides killing some small woodland creatures, (sorry guys but thanks for the sacrifice) it created a tunnel in which I can now see the other side of the mountain. Dare I say that I can even begin to look at the next mountain (named: Knock it off you whiney baby, you just got over ONE mountain") but let's take one step at a time.
The workshop didn't create more time in a day for me. She's not freaking super woman, but she did talk and teach a bit about priorities and time management. The first eye openeing step was a task she gave me. The week leading up to the workshop she asked me to set a timer for five minutes every day and write. Just for those five minutes. She asked that I do it first thing in the morning, even before I peed, to just sit and write just for 5 minutes for one week.
I couldn't write first thing in the morning before I peed because I was answering to the scream of a sickly child (who is MUCH better now, thanks!) but I did manage, every day, to set a timer and write for 5 minutes. For one week. I just made it my priority.
When I got to the workshop I produced my papers proudly. I love following instructions and turning things in on time, it's just who I am, so I was giddy with my weeks work in hand. Lisa said, as a general question to the participants, how much have you written? Some of us had done the exercise for 3 weeks, some for 2 and some, like me, for just a week. Some answered audibly, I just counted my pages. She didn't want an actual answer... she just simply asked "and how much MORE is that number than what you had written in the weeks before?" My answer was simple... I had written 100% MORE in those 5 minutes of time for 7 days than I had in the week before...and the week before that...and the week before that... and the week before that.
I had been putting off "writing" because I didn't have large chunks of time to sit down and write and in doing so I missed so many opportunities to actually just sit down and write!
Lesson learned, but that's not what this post is about... this post is about priorities...and time management. Just like I want to write... I also want to lose weight... there is a great blog out there and I believe it's on my blog roll to the left there called "5 minutes for me" and it's written by a woman who was plannnig on (I fully admit here that I have sorely neglected reading any blogs for a long long while, so maybe her plan has changed) taking the 5 minute commercial breaks and spending them exercising instead of sitting on her couch. Simple enough concept right?
So I need to prioritize my time better but I also have to be realistic, while not sugar coating my time management. I touched on the fact that I play video games on the previous post and it's true, I do play video games. I also spend every waking moment that I have available with my daughter actually focused on my daughter. I'm not saying I drown her with attention but as I work 40 hours a week, I feel that the little time that I do have with her should be spent, focused on her either playing, singing, reading or just hanging out. work 40 hours a week. I sleep.
To break it down a bit further, here are all bits of Time Mountain (in no particular order):
40 hours a week at work, plus commute time
Sadie
showering
eating
spending time with my husband
sleeping
writing
exercising
walking the dog
chilling out/reading
watching TV
playing video games
By breaking the mountain down into tangible sized boulders I can start to piece my mountain back together leaving out the bits that I don't need (do I need to watch 2 solid hours of TV?) to make that tunnel over to the other side while still keeping that mountain stable enough to hold the weight of my caboose (I DO have to work 40 hours a week, I do have to sleep!) You have to be realistic about what things you can cut out and change in your life.
But here is an exercise that I've done and maybe, if you're looking to "find time" as well you can do it too... take a day or two and break them down into hours, minutes even, and log what you're doing at all times of the day, even if it's just sitting on the "big white chair" that flushes. Then give yourself a real honest evaluation of where your Time Sucker Mountain stands. Find out which rocks are immovable and which ones can be blown to mits. Find out what your priorities currently ARE (because it's right there in front of your face you can no longer deny that you let brushing your hair suck 4 hours out of your week!), what you want your priorities to become and make small changes to get there, even if it's just 5 minutes a day. Those 5 minutes can still be 100% more than what you were doing before.
I hope you are all having healthy, successful weeks!
We used to have the luxury to go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week. We used to be able to properly walk the dog to get in some extra leg work. Now, if we'd join a gym they'd have to be open between then hours of 10p.m. and 6 a.m. because those are the times that we have now for "ourselves". That's totally never going to happen this century in the Netherlands, such accomodating hours for the non traditional person or family. Just not going to happen.
I took a writing workshop over the weekend. It was part of my Christmas present and I was really really looking forward to it. I have expressed how much I like to write here before and that still rings true. I love to write but alas, writing flies to the back burner and off of the stove altogether so quickly that it doesn't even begin to steam (as my loyal blog reader know, poor things!).
To say "I learned a lot" in this workshop would be unfair. Unfair to me, unfair to Lisa, who hosted the workshop and unfair to my writing. This workshop moved mountains, almost literally for me. The mountain that stood in front of my writing, Time Suck Mountain, as it's come to be known, is still standing there. What this mighty little workshop did was, it strapped on some dynamite, boarded the train and blew a hole right through Time Suck Mountain. By blowing a hole in the mountain, besides killing some small woodland creatures, (sorry guys but thanks for the sacrifice) it created a tunnel in which I can now see the other side of the mountain. Dare I say that I can even begin to look at the next mountain (named: Knock it off you whiney baby, you just got over ONE mountain") but let's take one step at a time.
The workshop didn't create more time in a day for me. She's not freaking super woman, but she did talk and teach a bit about priorities and time management. The first eye openeing step was a task she gave me. The week leading up to the workshop she asked me to set a timer for five minutes every day and write. Just for those five minutes. She asked that I do it first thing in the morning, even before I peed, to just sit and write just for 5 minutes for one week.
I couldn't write first thing in the morning before I peed because I was answering to the scream of a sickly child (who is MUCH better now, thanks!) but I did manage, every day, to set a timer and write for 5 minutes. For one week. I just made it my priority.
When I got to the workshop I produced my papers proudly. I love following instructions and turning things in on time, it's just who I am, so I was giddy with my weeks work in hand. Lisa said, as a general question to the participants, how much have you written? Some of us had done the exercise for 3 weeks, some for 2 and some, like me, for just a week. Some answered audibly, I just counted my pages. She didn't want an actual answer... she just simply asked "and how much MORE is that number than what you had written in the weeks before?" My answer was simple... I had written 100% MORE in those 5 minutes of time for 7 days than I had in the week before...and the week before that...and the week before that... and the week before that.
I had been putting off "writing" because I didn't have large chunks of time to sit down and write and in doing so I missed so many opportunities to actually just sit down and write!
Lesson learned, but that's not what this post is about... this post is about priorities...and time management. Just like I want to write... I also want to lose weight... there is a great blog out there and I believe it's on my blog roll to the left there called "5 minutes for me" and it's written by a woman who was plannnig on (I fully admit here that I have sorely neglected reading any blogs for a long long while, so maybe her plan has changed) taking the 5 minute commercial breaks and spending them exercising instead of sitting on her couch. Simple enough concept right?
So I need to prioritize my time better but I also have to be realistic, while not sugar coating my time management. I touched on the fact that I play video games on the previous post and it's true, I do play video games. I also spend every waking moment that I have available with my daughter actually focused on my daughter. I'm not saying I drown her with attention but as I work 40 hours a week, I feel that the little time that I do have with her should be spent, focused on her either playing, singing, reading or just hanging out. work 40 hours a week. I sleep.
To break it down a bit further, here are all bits of Time Mountain (in no particular order):
40 hours a week at work, plus commute time
Sadie
showering
eating
spending time with my husband
sleeping
writing
exercising
walking the dog
chilling out/reading
watching TV
playing video games
By breaking the mountain down into tangible sized boulders I can start to piece my mountain back together leaving out the bits that I don't need (do I need to watch 2 solid hours of TV?) to make that tunnel over to the other side while still keeping that mountain stable enough to hold the weight of my caboose (I DO have to work 40 hours a week, I do have to sleep!) You have to be realistic about what things you can cut out and change in your life.
But here is an exercise that I've done and maybe, if you're looking to "find time" as well you can do it too... take a day or two and break them down into hours, minutes even, and log what you're doing at all times of the day, even if it's just sitting on the "big white chair" that flushes. Then give yourself a real honest evaluation of where your Time Sucker Mountain stands. Find out which rocks are immovable and which ones can be blown to mits. Find out what your priorities currently ARE (because it's right there in front of your face you can no longer deny that you let brushing your hair suck 4 hours out of your week!), what you want your priorities to become and make small changes to get there, even if it's just 5 minutes a day. Those 5 minutes can still be 100% more than what you were doing before.
I hope you are all having healthy, successful weeks!
Friday, January 08, 2010
geesh has it really been that long?
Sorry! Our computer at home is fried, seriously fried, we can't even get it to do anything other than turn on and then it's a blank, black screen, so updating my blog has become difficult.
Okay, aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnndddddddd, I haven't done bubkus towards losing any weight. The holidays, illness (Sadie and marco's not my own) and life in general got in the way, once again, and decisions were made... bad, poor. fattening choices were made, over and over and over and those 2 kilos I'd lost were found as quickly as colored eggs on Easter morning. I may even have found a few extra eggs to add to my basket if I pay close enough attention to how my clothes are fitting.
Zumba has collected dust but my new Super Mario Brother's game for Wii has had plenty of face time with me. Oh the shame of it all. (said with dramatic back-of-hand thrown against my forehead).
I should cut a deal with myself, I can only play my game IF AND ONLY IF I have already exercised. That seems fair enough, right? Holding myself to it may be a different thing but it seems like a smart plan because, honestly, jumping on little toadie heads and turtles can go on for hours before you realize what time it is and if I can dedicate that much time to saving the princess then shouldn't I save my own royal ass?
Okay, aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnndddddddd, I haven't done bubkus towards losing any weight. The holidays, illness (Sadie and marco's not my own) and life in general got in the way, once again, and decisions were made... bad, poor. fattening choices were made, over and over and over and those 2 kilos I'd lost were found as quickly as colored eggs on Easter morning. I may even have found a few extra eggs to add to my basket if I pay close enough attention to how my clothes are fitting.
Zumba has collected dust but my new Super Mario Brother's game for Wii has had plenty of face time with me. Oh the shame of it all. (said with dramatic back-of-hand thrown against my forehead).
I should cut a deal with myself, I can only play my game IF AND ONLY IF I have already exercised. That seems fair enough, right? Holding myself to it may be a different thing but it seems like a smart plan because, honestly, jumping on little toadie heads and turtles can go on for hours before you realize what time it is and if I can dedicate that much time to saving the princess then shouldn't I save my own royal ass?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
An unofficial weigh in of sorts...
I've been trying to do a combo of Zumba and eating better (although eating is still nowhere near it should be with all of the holiday chocolate, cakes and goodies!) but I've been doing Zumba for 2 weeks now (5 times total), drinking more water, less soda and trying to be more food aware and today I have officially dropped a little over 4 pounds from my starting weight! Only about 136 more to go woohoo! (little sarcasm never hurt anybody!)
I love the Zumba and am even thinking of going to the next level already after only a couple of weeks. I can't wait to try the strength training!
So if I can drop 4 pounds (2 kilos) in 2 weeks during the holidays I cannot wait to see what I can do once January rolls around.
Woohoo for me! Hope you're having fantastic healthy successful weeks and happy holiday season to all!
I love the Zumba and am even thinking of going to the next level already after only a couple of weeks. I can't wait to try the strength training!
So if I can drop 4 pounds (2 kilos) in 2 weeks during the holidays I cannot wait to see what I can do once January rolls around.
Woohoo for me! Hope you're having fantastic healthy successful weeks and happy holiday season to all!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
one sick baby = one pooped out Mama
Sorry to ignore my blog this past week but little Sadie has been really ill and I haven’t had a chance to breathe let alone blog (or exercise). I had done the Zumba twice last week and really like it a lot and think it will be something that I can stick with once I get back on track. I also decided that I am going to give myself a few weeks so not this week) before I weigh myself. This is partially due to the fact that the day after I announced I was 127 (kilos) I got on the scale to see 128-point-some-number and partially because we’ve had two alcohol infested meetings at work, one Christmas dinner and a week full of on the go meals and I just don’t want to disappoint myself when I’m feeling so positive right now.
Sadie is still not 100%, she’s more about 40 today but I think she’s on the up and up which means that this week I should be able to work out 3 times, or at least that’s what I’m aiming for right now.
I hope you all are having healthy, successful weeks!
Sadie is still not 100%, she’s more about 40 today but I think she’s on the up and up which means that this week I should be able to work out 3 times, or at least that’s what I’m aiming for right now.
I hope you all are having healthy, successful weeks!
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
It's the little things...
These are some things I'm doing today to make a positive change towards my weight loss goals:
1) I cut down my usual "6-9 cup of coffee/hot chocolate" morning down to just one cup of coffee. I also had one portion of oatmeal for breakfast with low fat milk.
2) I've had the most delicious salad for lunch with greens, pumpkin, tomato, celery, smoked chicken and feta with a lemon dressing.
3) I've already told my husband that I'll be doing my Zumba workout tonight, for the second time, and I'm really looking forward to it. Saying out loud makes me feel committed and I know there is a higher chance of me following through. The fact that I'm looking forward to it makes me a wee bit giddy.
4) I've had two bottles of water already and it's just past 1p.m. I'll try to get in at least two more before (work) days end.
So there you go. Small steps.
What positive things are you doing in your life today?
1) I cut down my usual "6-9 cup of coffee/hot chocolate" morning down to just one cup of coffee. I also had one portion of oatmeal for breakfast with low fat milk.
2) I've had the most delicious salad for lunch with greens, pumpkin, tomato, celery, smoked chicken and feta with a lemon dressing.
3) I've already told my husband that I'll be doing my Zumba workout tonight, for the second time, and I'm really looking forward to it. Saying out loud makes me feel committed and I know there is a higher chance of me following through. The fact that I'm looking forward to it makes me a wee bit giddy.
4) I've had two bottles of water already and it's just past 1p.m. I'll try to get in at least two more before (work) days end.
So there you go. Small steps.
What positive things are you doing in your life today?
Sunday, December 06, 2009
I did Zumba! (video, not class)
And I'm going to write my review as I'm sitting here at my table still huffing and puffing, still sweating in my ears, still with my heart pounding out of my chest....The verdict:
I'll do it again. Multiple times a week, more than likely. In a nut shell the actual workout was fun, semi-easy to follow and short. The music was fun and the instructor gave variations of the hip swaying that those skinny women were doing so quickly.
Now, out of the nutshell and into the nitty gritty...
There are definetely some positives about the video and some negatives. A lot of what I say, should you choose to take it to heart, will also depend on how you feel about your own body, where you are in your weight loss endevors and your place in your life right now, right this minute. I'm sitting here as a 279 pound (127 kilo) (yeah, that's what the scale said this week at my weigh in, so there is my starting point) woman who has, in the past, dropped 72 pounds and has, since her pregnancy, gained most of it back. I am also a woman though, who used to work out in the gym 3 to 4 times a week and did occasional classes. This gives me the wisdom to know not to judge a workout by your first attempt and that it will get a) better b) get easier c) become more fun. Really, huff huff, it will. I am also a woman who has been dragging her feet to begin, again. I am also a woman who ate two (large) cookies for breakfast and almost let that be an excuse not to workout because "I already started the day shitty". I know we're all in different places, all over the weight loss map, so keep that in mind while reading.
So lets start with the negatives and get that out of the way so we can end on a positive note.
1) the intro to the dance steps - it was LENGTHY and intimidating. Seriously, I watched the intro first and practiced the steps and about 10 steps into it I was thinking "for Gods sake how many steps are they going to throw at me in a 20 minute bacis, beginners workout". It almost intimidated me to the point of turning it off and not even moving onto the actual video.
2) workout space - you don't need a lot of space but this would be a hell of a lot easier to do on a concrete or wooden floor. I have carpet and your feet just don't slide as easily as you would like them to.
3) some of the moves, even when broken down, are not for beginners. There was one combination that tripped me up the entire time, and I like to think that I can keep a beat and follow simple steps.
4) If you are not used to working out or are just beginning I can see how it would discourage you from trying it again. Your body is flopping, sloshing, shaking, flapping and sweating, all the whilst the little dancers on TV are moving around like tazmanian devils with the greatest of ease. That's why Richard Simmons was so damned successful. He had real people who were struggling with weight showing you how to move. It made you feel safe and secure and comfortable with your body because it made you think "if that un-thin person can do it, well then so can I". If you have never worked out and are not necessarily comfortable in your own skin then it can be off-putting.
And that's really the only negatives I have about the video. 4. And some may not apply to everybody. Not bad at all for a workout, eh?
And now...the positives
1) It is (or will be after a few more times) as fun as it looks on TV. I am into dance music and have always wanted to learn latin dances and this teaches you some basic moves. Once you have seen the video a couple times, and know what is coming next, and can actually dance and not concentrate so much on the instructions, then it's going to be a blast.
2) The guy does show you modified steps if you cannot keep up with the tazmanian devils that I mentioned before. If you can keep those thoughts in your head while watching them dancer faster then you're okay. (It would be better if they had one of the six dancers do modified moves throughout the video so you could have visual instruction throughout).
3) The beginnger workout does not sling all of those moves at you in one big dance off. They do four (or was it five) small dance sessions using only a few of the moves showed in the intro. Whew! What a relief that was!
4) It was over before I knew it! And that, my friend, is a freaking miracle when it comes to workouts. Yeah I was huffing and puffing and my legs were shaking and my face was bright red but I was still doing it and when he announced "this is your last dance" I was surprised (and a bit relieved as I really wanted to be able to finish the whole video).
5) I'm actually looking forward to doing it again. This is the kicker... I was so tired and didn't have the energy to work out, yet I knew working out would give me more energy, making it easier to do my NEXT workout. It was just taking that huge first step to actually make myself move that killed me. And in the formward motion that is weight loss, this workout today will make me want to eat better, which then again, will give me more energy.
And with that, my friends, my weight loss ball is a rolling. I feel so good and am so proud of myself.
I'll do it again. Multiple times a week, more than likely. In a nut shell the actual workout was fun, semi-easy to follow and short. The music was fun and the instructor gave variations of the hip swaying that those skinny women were doing so quickly.
Now, out of the nutshell and into the nitty gritty...
There are definetely some positives about the video and some negatives. A lot of what I say, should you choose to take it to heart, will also depend on how you feel about your own body, where you are in your weight loss endevors and your place in your life right now, right this minute. I'm sitting here as a 279 pound (127 kilo) (yeah, that's what the scale said this week at my weigh in, so there is my starting point) woman who has, in the past, dropped 72 pounds and has, since her pregnancy, gained most of it back. I am also a woman though, who used to work out in the gym 3 to 4 times a week and did occasional classes. This gives me the wisdom to know not to judge a workout by your first attempt and that it will get a) better b) get easier c) become more fun. Really, huff huff, it will. I am also a woman who has been dragging her feet to begin, again. I am also a woman who ate two (large) cookies for breakfast and almost let that be an excuse not to workout because "I already started the day shitty". I know we're all in different places, all over the weight loss map, so keep that in mind while reading.
So lets start with the negatives and get that out of the way so we can end on a positive note.
1) the intro to the dance steps - it was LENGTHY and intimidating. Seriously, I watched the intro first and practiced the steps and about 10 steps into it I was thinking "for Gods sake how many steps are they going to throw at me in a 20 minute bacis, beginners workout". It almost intimidated me to the point of turning it off and not even moving onto the actual video.
2) workout space - you don't need a lot of space but this would be a hell of a lot easier to do on a concrete or wooden floor. I have carpet and your feet just don't slide as easily as you would like them to.
3) some of the moves, even when broken down, are not for beginners. There was one combination that tripped me up the entire time, and I like to think that I can keep a beat and follow simple steps.
4) If you are not used to working out or are just beginning I can see how it would discourage you from trying it again. Your body is flopping, sloshing, shaking, flapping and sweating, all the whilst the little dancers on TV are moving around like tazmanian devils with the greatest of ease. That's why Richard Simmons was so damned successful. He had real people who were struggling with weight showing you how to move. It made you feel safe and secure and comfortable with your body because it made you think "if that un-thin person can do it, well then so can I". If you have never worked out and are not necessarily comfortable in your own skin then it can be off-putting.
And that's really the only negatives I have about the video. 4. And some may not apply to everybody. Not bad at all for a workout, eh?
And now...the positives
1) It is (or will be after a few more times) as fun as it looks on TV. I am into dance music and have always wanted to learn latin dances and this teaches you some basic moves. Once you have seen the video a couple times, and know what is coming next, and can actually dance and not concentrate so much on the instructions, then it's going to be a blast.
2) The guy does show you modified steps if you cannot keep up with the tazmanian devils that I mentioned before. If you can keep those thoughts in your head while watching them dancer faster then you're okay. (It would be better if they had one of the six dancers do modified moves throughout the video so you could have visual instruction throughout).
3) The beginnger workout does not sling all of those moves at you in one big dance off. They do four (or was it five) small dance sessions using only a few of the moves showed in the intro. Whew! What a relief that was!
4) It was over before I knew it! And that, my friend, is a freaking miracle when it comes to workouts. Yeah I was huffing and puffing and my legs were shaking and my face was bright red but I was still doing it and when he announced "this is your last dance" I was surprised (and a bit relieved as I really wanted to be able to finish the whole video).
5) I'm actually looking forward to doing it again. This is the kicker... I was so tired and didn't have the energy to work out, yet I knew working out would give me more energy, making it easier to do my NEXT workout. It was just taking that huge first step to actually make myself move that killed me. And in the formward motion that is weight loss, this workout today will make me want to eat better, which then again, will give me more energy.
And with that, my friends, my weight loss ball is a rolling. I feel so good and am so proud of myself.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
The Zumba has arrived. It's been sitting on my table this week waiting to be opened and played with. I haven't even touched the box. I've just been too exhausted.
This is always a rough week for me though, as Marco works evenings so I pretty much have the baby all night long (and we all know how well she sleeps!). On top of that she's not been feeling the greatest and is teething. It's been a bit of a nighmare but I swear I'll do the video at least once this weekend. Probably tonight. One you make that first step then the next one is easier, I know this, it's just picking my foot up off of the ground to take it that's so darned difficult.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh and today is Sinterklaas in the Netherlands so happy Sinterklaas day!
This is always a rough week for me though, as Marco works evenings so I pretty much have the baby all night long (and we all know how well she sleeps!). On top of that she's not been feeling the greatest and is teething. It's been a bit of a nighmare but I swear I'll do the video at least once this weekend. Probably tonight. One you make that first step then the next one is easier, I know this, it's just picking my foot up off of the ground to take it that's so darned difficult.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh and today is Sinterklaas in the Netherlands so happy Sinterklaas day!
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