Wednesday, July 21, 2010

10 fast facts about me

1) I'm feeling not so far down in the dump-y but I'm still not "go get em tiger-y" either

2) I'm looking forward to my first appointment (29th) at the disorderly eating counciling place.


3) I'm ordering a bike and hope to start riding 3-4 times a week, once my tush gets used to the seat.

4) I've found a pool that has convenient hours (which is a HUGE deal in Holland) that I may be able to start swimming laps occasionally throughout the week.

5) I've been talking with Marco a lot about how I've been feeling and he's probably the most wonderful support system a girl could ever wish for.

6) I've decided to go in to my first appointment with a very open mind and try whatever it is they suggest for me, regardless of if it's worked for me in the past.

7) Other aspects of my life are going very well and make me happy.

8) It's been almost two years since I gave birth to Sadie (August 1st) and she's finally sleeping through the night 3 to 4 times a week giving me a ton more energy and a better outlook on my future in weight loss.

9) I have to try to keep in mind that although collectively I need/want to lose 40 kilos or 88 pounds, I can only do that 1 pound at a time. I've been overwhelming myself with the "big picture" instead of focusing on the small brushstrokes it takes to make that big picture. I just have to lose one pound. That's it.

10) No matter what I've gone through or how I've been feeling, my little flicker of hope and will to get this weight off has never burned completely out. I've said it probably a hundred times in this bloh and I will continue to say it 100 more times. Not losing the weight is just not an option. Quitting is not an option. I will do this.

Friday, July 16, 2010

I'm still alive. Just trying to get my thoughts together. Hanging in there. hang with me.