Saturday, November 29, 2008

Survived Thanksgiving with hardly a scratch!

I must admit it is easier for me than most of my American readers as I have no access to over sized portions of stuffing, seconds or thirds on gravy laden potatoes, a buffet of Thanksgiving pies and desserts or leftovers for days but I did survive this Thanksgiving with hardly a pant to unbutton.

We went to Hard Rock Cafe this year for Thankgiving as they bosted about having this "traditional American Thanksgiving meal" which was traditional in the names of the foods, yes, but the making and tasting of the food, not so traditional. In their defense, I ate it all and it was pretty okay. They had a huge task to accomplish though if they thought they were going to out-cook my Mom's Thanksgiving meal. I'm sure many of the expats felt the same. Yes, it was turkey but it wasn't Mom's turkey. Yeah we had stuffing but it wasn't Mom's stuffing. They almost set themselves up for defeat if they thought they could outcook Momma Kelly's Thanksgiving meal. No way.

So yeah, I ate the whole meal though. We had a really nice time talking, eating and just being together with Jennifer, Danny and baby Quint, fellow American's fresh off the boat. They are really something that I am thankful for this year, to have found them and befriended them. They're really great people and Sadie just loves Quint.

I've been doing fairly decent with my eating. I'm making better choices with my meals at home. Snacking is a tough part but getting easier as I go. I'll be interested to see what the evil scale has to say this week.

On a super bright, break out the sunglasses note... The Weighin' in With my .02 family will be arriving in the USA in just a short 12 days. We're arriving on Dec. 12th and not leaving until January 3rd! I'm so looking forward to this nice long visit with family and friends. I hope we have time to see them all!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I remembered to weigh in.

Well I was a little over one pounds (.6 kilos) lighter on the scale this morning. Not phenominal... not even blog worthy really... but it is what it is so there it is. I do feel a lot better this week and my potato ankles are now down to more like boiled egg ankles. I'm chugging the water and haven't had another binge since the great pizza incident of 2008.

I sincerely appreciate all of the great comments and advice you all have been giving me. You have given some wonderful tips and really make me think about this whole process in a brighter light. I actually made a huge pot of veggie soup/stew on Sunday night and plan on making this a habit. I love veggie soup, it's cheap and it's easy to make a ton of it, it's filling and it's healthy. I just need to quit using boulion cubes and make my own stock to cut back on sodium but I only use one cube for a huge pot of soup so it's not really all that bad.

I had an ephinay this morning on my way to work as to why I have been feeling so down on myself. I have put a ton of pressure on myself to look fabulous and be back to my pre pregnancy weight before I go home to the US, which is in 17 days. Well that's obviously not going to happen but I have really been beating myself up about it. The last time I was home, a year and almost 8 months ago, I had just dropped 70+ pounds and felt wonderful about how I looked. I was looking forward to shopping, buying new clothes and showing off my newly found curves minus the lumps. Now I feel wonderful about the fact that I have a gorgeous baby but my body is not something I'm particularly happy with at this moment. I realize the baby is only 16 weeks old and I am not some Hollywood starlet with a team of personal trainers and tons of time on my hands who has to be back in size 0 in 48 hours. I need to back off a little and really gather some perspective of what I've just gone through, physically.

Overall... I will get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I won't be before Christmas... it may not even be before June... but I will get back there someday in 2009 and then I'll keep on trucking utnil I reach my 200 pound goal. I will be healthy again. I will exercise again. I will get back to it all... but just not all at once and just not all right now.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

And breate out..

My binge and the typing out of my binge kind of stunned me silent. I don't really know what to think or what to say, really. I've just been living this week day by day and meal by meal.

I was given good advice by a loyal reader that this is diferent now, with a baby in the mix, and I may not be able to just do things the way I was doing them before I found out I was pregnant. I may need to prepare ahead of time a little more. So that's what I'm doing. Thanks Becklette.

I am giving myself a set breakfast to eat so then I am ensured at least one healthy meal a day that I don't have to think about. Luckily breakfast is easy for me as I like oatmeal. I make 1/2 cup (dry) it with 0% fat milk and add in cinnamon and a teaspoonful of brown sugar and I'm ready to face the day.

I have pinpointed a big problem that I'm going to have to get creative to fix. Now that I'm back to work I have a set time I have to eat lunch. Unfotunately it's at noon. I work until 5: 30 get home at 6 and when I get home I need to take care of the baby and get her to sleep. This puts my supper at about 7:30 or 8 o'clock in the evening. That's just way too long inbetween meals, it's too close to my bedtime, (which coincidentaly is about 8 o'clock nowdays) and leaves me starving and snacking uncontrollably.

Any suggestions on how to fix this? I need to have a heavy "snack" while at work, maybe around 4:30 to get me through until I get home and can eat supper but what should I eat? Currently 'm having a piece of fruit but that's not cutting it. Also, then I won't want (or shouldn't ) have as much supper... so just some protein and veggies for supper then?

I also need to get out of the mindset that supper HAS to be the "big meal" of the day.

I see that I need to cut back on carbs. Not cut out carbs but definately cut back. That's another "all in your head" thing that supper has to include meat, veggie, carb. That's how we always ate growing up but that doesn't mean it has to continue. There is nothing wrong with protien, veg and veg!

Geesh there is so much to re-learn and think about all over again. I'm trying not to feel overwhelmed because that leads to me being a deer in the refridgerator light, transfixed on food and unable to move any direction, especially forward.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Back into the saddle? Which saddle is the question.

So I weighed in this morning and wasn't really shocked with my results although I was disappointed in myself. I managed to gain a kilo or roughly 2 lbs. WTF, you may be saying... alas, it's true. I found myself in a pretty dark place near the end of my weigh in week that I haven't been in well over a year. I was binging and sabotaging myself. Again. What's really bad is I recognized it as I was doing it but still didn't stop myself. This is so similar to what I did before my friend Liz's wedding. As the event got closer and I knew I needed (or really wanted) to drop the weight the more I self sabotaged and binged. What scares me most about my binge yesterday (a ton of pizza for supper.. I'm talking probably 3/4 of a large pizza) is that I actually thought about making myself throw it up. I thought it multiple times but I didn't do it... but just that I thought it is scary in itself.

I also thought to myself, well as long as Sadie isn't seeing Mommy eat like this, it's not as bad. WTF. Who is this person? Where in the hell did the REAL me go in the past 9+ months while I was pregnant? Did I really slip THAT far away from where I used to be just a little over a year ago? I was doing so well not only physically but mentally. Granted I didn't think much about weight loss while I was pregnant or even up until now but did I really get back so far into my old habits so damned easily? I feel like such a poser.

Yeah, it would have been easier to come on here and not really type out what happened this week. Lord knows I'm not proud of it and actually I feel pretty ashamed of myself. I know better. I've lived better. I guess all I can do now is DO better. I'm going to pick up my book again, re-read my highlighted passages and really try to find out what the hell is going on with me. I can't lose this mental game with myself anymore. I have too much good in my life and too much is at stake here.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Started out with a bang...

and ended with a pppppffffffftttttt. My week started off really well and got progressivly worse and the days wore on. Not to always blame my poor little lambchop, Sadie, for my actions but little lamby hasn't slept well the past 4 days and it makes Mommy do things without thinking, like grabbing an unhealthy snack without thinking twice or surrendering to a quick (read: unhealthy) meal so she can slink into bed for a few hours (or minutes). I will say that even though the past couple days haven't been wonderful regarding my eating they still have been way better than they had been over the past few months.

My water intake has been pretty fabulous I must say. Unfortunately my ankles are still swollen and resemble little potatoes. I envy those women whose hormones go right back to where they should be after pregnancy. I honestly had no idea they would linger on as they have. Oh and the hair loss, that's lovely. I spend most of my day picking hair off of me or Sadie and after my shower...MY GOD! I've started wearing it pulled back all the time just to keep my shedding to a minimum and it's not a good look on me. Of course, neither is bald!

I'm going to try to remember to weigh in on Tuesday and report back on my progress.

Hope you are all having healthy, successful weeks!

Great blog post about exercise

A Girl Worth Losing wrote a great post about exercise and since I can't really brag about my stellar work outs these days I think the least I can do is link to the post here.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I was correct

Ugh! Blogger strikes again! Had a nice long one typed out and it ate it! Ugh. I may have to change my blog address this is getting to be a pain in the add and half of the functions don't even work! Grrrrrrr. anyway... here's the low down in a much shortened, less entertaining version.

My guestimation was correct. I weighed in at 124.6 kilos this morning. I did really well with my food and water intake yesterday and am off to a great start today. So two days down and a lifetime to go!

Monday, November 10, 2008

As predicted....

I forgot to get on the scale this morning. It was another rough night with the baby but I did remember I was going to weigh myself while I was in the shower. Once out of the shower I said "once I take the towel off my head I have to remember to weigh myself" and of course once I took the towel off of my head I put my cream in it, then brushed my teeth, then got dressed, then kissed the baby a million times... never did get on the damned scale. Maybe tomorrow.

Today I've already had a healthy breakfast of yogurt with rasins and a bit of granola and drank one full bottle of water. For lunch I had a ham and cheese toastie with some red pepper, cucumber and tomato slices and a little chunk of feta cheese. I'm working on my second bottle of water already.

I'm going to get plenty of exercise today hauling around these huge bags under my eyes! HAHAHA

All in all I'm off to a good start. Like my cousin Lissa suggested I need to make some small goals once again. I'll work on that this week. Of course the goal of losing between 1 and 2 pounds a week is long standing and still applies!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Yuck... a long road ahead of me

Geesh... I just estimated my weight so I could update my stats on the right and all I can say is yuck. I have a long long road ahead of me. I think I'm going to go back and re-read some of my first posts and try to remember that I did this once and I can do it again. I'm feeling extremely discouraged. Actually I don't think discouraged is the right word... it's more like...ugh, God I have to do this all over again when I was oh-so-close. How long is this going to take? Forever!


I had a big long old post typed out last week and blogger ate it. Then I retyped a second slightly shorter version and once again blogger ate it. Why I don't copy the post before hitting "publish post" is beyond me but I was frustrated as hell and couldn't be bothered to type it all out again.

So here's the gist of it. I lost maybe 2 pounds but am unsure. I need to change my stats on the side there so I can keep proper track. If I can remember to weigh in tomorrow morning I will do that.

I am having a tough time, hormonally speaking, since Sadie's birth. I am retaining water horribly and have had two periods in 4 weeks, neither of which were fun. Last week was the first week that Marco and I worked opposite shifts and it was really a tough week for all of us. I didn't sleep well, didn't eat well and surely didn't exercise at all. Getting back into all of this is proving to be difficult. It's a bigger adjustment with the baby than I think I was expecting.

We've decided to buy a Wii Fit after the first of the year as our Christmas present to one another. It will be in January because we're spending Christmas in the US (YAY!) so won't be here to buy it in December. Have any of you used the Wii fit for some exercise successfully? I'd love to hear some stories if you have them.

I realize I need to get back to the basics and make myself a little goal or two to shoot for this week. So, this week I am going to try and drink more water. By "more water" I also mean less diet coke not just simply upping my liquids. I'm also going to try and eat a salad for either lunch or dinner at least 4 times this week. This shouldn't be to difficult considering I have the option for a salad every day at lunch. I am also going to eat baked fish or chicken at least 4 times this week.

Okay... so that's a start... let's see where we go from there.