Friday, July 31, 2009

This time last year

At this time last year I was in full-blown-no-turning-back-ouch-holy$%$#%$$-that-hurts-elp-me-god labor. And they say you forget the pain. HA! She was sooooo worth it though.

Sunday, July 26, 2009


I've googled "twitter" for the first time today because I'm curious as to what all the buzz is about. I went directly to the homepage and saw where I could register. The home page boasts "Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?"

I belong(ed) to facebook and myspace. (I've recently deleted my myspace account because I just can't keep up with it all and all of my friends who were on that website were also on facebook.) I love my family and friends. I really do. I do want to know how they're doing, what they're up to... but this obsession with the internet to keep tabs on everybody, to know what everybody is thinking every second of every day "in real time" as twitter brags, it's exhausting and eats away at precious time. I log onto facebook and have to actally think of something to say that is interesting enough to enough people to actually bother to write about it. Most of the time it's just not there but I still feel compelled to update.

So how many ways do we need to keep in touch with one another? I have my blog. I also have Sadie's blog. To be fully honest MOST of my family and friends probably don't even read them even though it would be so easy to keep up with us that way yet I keep them up to date as much as I can just in case somebody wants to know what's been happening in our lives.

I'm on Linked In.

There's my cell phones with text messaging. That's 24 hour access to me.

There is email that I feel compelled to check multiple times throughout the day for a variety of reasons. It's just natural with my family being an ocean away that I want to see "what's up".

At work I have another email account that I must check daily.

I do/did belong to 3 different internet message boards that I wanted to keep up with, each with their own "specialty" topics.

There are the other blogs that I want to keep up with, my fellow weight loss bloggers, my Post Secret thrill every Sunday morning... the whole lot.

Then there is facebook. The biggest time sucker. I'm taking quizzes, answering polls, sending hugs, throwing Justin Timberlake at people... it's never ending, the action on facebook. I have decided I am going to only have "friends" on there that I know in real life and it ends up I know a whole lot of people.

So now I'm thinking "do I have to keep up with the Jones's" and join the most recent, life altering, best-thing-ever, must have internet tool and join the masses who are twittering? I'm exhausted just writing about keeping up with another tool. When did all of our lives become so damned interesting that we've deemed it necessary to share every "I'm walking the dog" or "I'm going to bed" or "I'm dreading work"?

Maybe it's just my mundane life that makes me feel un-twitter-worthy but really, do you really want to know? Don't I share enough in all of the other places? If there were no internet how much of my life would remain private with the small handfuls of exceptions in which I would share my "juicy bits" with? Who would know the struggles I've had with my weight? Who would know the personal hell that was our infertility? Who would know the true elation that was my pregnancy? Who would once again know of the emotional battle I struggle with daily in regards to my food issues? When is enough, enough?

Today. Today enough is enough for me. I'm not joining twitter. It's nothing personal against the website. I'm sure it's lovely. I'm going to focus on me for a while and by that I mean I will keep up with my blog. And probably facebook. And Sadie's blog. I'll answer my emails both at home and at work. You can reach me by phone both at home and my mobile. I will still occasionally visit my message boards You will not, however, find me twittering. Not today. Not now. Not ever.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I was down another pound this Tuesday so woohoo for me. I'll try and post something a bit beefier later!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I can't believe I forgot to update on Tuesday when I weighed in because it was actually GOOD news I get to share! I was down 1.5 kilos or roughly 3 pounds! So yay! We only have 7 weeks to go before we're in the US so getting anywhere near the weight I was hoping for before then is just impossible, which is extremely disappointing, but I am still going to plug along and try and get as much off as possible. Let's just hope I can keep the momentum.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Thank you

Thank you all for your kind words and well wishes. We made it through the week and I kept in close contact with my Mom, which really helped. It is so hard being here but you just have to do what you have to do sometimes.

In other events, remember when I was talking about my "life plate" being extremely full and all of the stress I've been dealing with which has negatively effected my life, especially my weight loss efforts, well it still is a madhouse around here, but in the upcoming weeks/months I am hoping that things will turn around for me. I can't disclose too much information right now but as soon as I can you all will be the first to know. Just keep your fingers crossed for me in the upcoming weeks, okay?

In weight loss news, well, there isn't much to report to be honest. I'm doing what I can when I can and I am sneaking in exercise a heck of a lot more often in the past weeks than I have for a long time but nothing seems to be budging. I do, however, have a lot more energy. This is a combination of Sadie sleeping better (I don't dare say it too loud for fear of jinxing myself) and making myself get up and move. Nothing makes you want to get up and move like getting up and actually moving. It's funny how exercise works that way. I'm going to start bike riding again (thanks for the inspiration Jen!).

Food has always been the toughest part for me though and it still is. I think it always will be. We had a contest at work recently where we were asked to write a 7-10 second (when read) public service announcement (psa) for a health issue of our choice from the given list. Then they're judged and the top 5 PSA's writers are shipped a video camera to then record your psa. Then the company will vote on the best of the 5 and the winner will get a trip to New York or LA to watch their announcement be shown on TV for the first time (and I think they professionally shoot the announcement as well). Naturally my mind immediately went to obesity, especially childhood obesity. I came up with a slogan that has echoed in my head since well before I was pregnant with Sadie and it's honestly what made me get on this weight loss journey in the first place. It's what helped me lose 72+ pounds before my pregnancy and it's what is going to get the weight back off now. I don't think I can share the slogan I came up with right now, until the winners of the contest are chosen (because you know I'm planning on winning), so I guess this is all a little tease but the whole point is...since actually writing this slogan out on paper (well computer screen) and submitting it, it has echoed in my head every single day, with every decision I make. It has already effected me so who knows, maybe it will be chosen as the winner and then it can echo in your head as well. I'll keep you posted.

I did get on the scale on Tuesday with no movement from the prior weeks. I hopped on this morning to see a slight decrease in numbers but Tuesday is the official day so let's hope I can drop some serious poundage by then.

I hope you all are having healthy, successful weeks and thanks again for all of your kindness.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Very sad news

My Grandpa passed away on the 4th of July. My Mom called to tell me the news and joked that he would have wanted to go out "with a bang". How fitting. How typical that my Mom would try to cheer me up with a joke when she'd just lost her father. I don't even want to imagine the grief she's filled with.

I feel a bit...helpless...I guess. It's never easy being far away from family but it's never so boldly apparent as to the vast space between us as it is in time like these.

I think with every death comes along a long wish list that will never be fulfilled. Those boxes will never be ticked. I wish I would have seen him a couple more times last time we were home. I wish I would have asked him all of the things I've always wondered about him. I wish he would have gotten so know Sadie better. I wish I would have been able to be there and comfort him or his wife or my mom or my uncles or my siblings or my cousins in those last few days.

They're having a memorial sevice on Wednesday. I wish I could be there. Not just for them, but for me, to say goodbye. I will miss him. I love you Grandpa Gene.