drumroll please... the final pre-vacation weigh-in results are in and I tipped the scales at a mere (HA!) 122.4 kilos or 269 lbs! That's a total loss to date of 14.6 kilos or 32.12 lbs! That's a fantastic start to what will be a long journey but it's a really good start to my vacation!
I'll be in the US for a couple of weeks and I'm not sure how often I'll be blogging so hang in there, I'll be right back and can't wait to share how the "experiment" of a weight loss girl coming to America pans out!
I hope you're all having healthy, successful week! See you soon!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Holy Crap! Sorry!
Thanks to Becklette for her gentle reminder that I have been neglecting my blog!
I guess I just don't know what to say. Nothing is really "new". I am doing well. Things are going brilliantly. I'm just plugging along, doing what I do and the weight is coming off slowly. Lather, rinse, repeat. Oh and I am preparing for a 23 day stint in the USA.
oh, yeah, we can totally talk about that.
It's been a huge subject of discussion with Dewy and I, and in my last session we kind of just left it at "whatever happens, happens". If I gain, it's not the end of the world, and if I lose, then it's just an added bonus. When I get back into my normal life I am going to get right back to everything that works for me and life will go on. I am not going to get back into food obsession, binging, eating, restricting EVER, and especially not while I'm on vacation, so I'm actually pretty mellow (which is an entirely new sensation for me, especially before visiting the US, I used to get so wound up about weight, losing, gaining, etc, so this is very, very new, and, well, kind of cool). I am going to still shoot for my mini-goals (water, fish, fruit) and do what I do while I'm home. I will try to eat normal portions, which is actually the biggest challenge especially when we all know, nothing served to you in the US is a proper portion. And I do mean nothing!
I was, however, totally inspired by my friend Tanja, recently. She is also concentrating on dropping some weight, by similar methods that I am using. She is also an American living in the Netherlands and JUST got back from a US vacation. Being the super star she is, she actually DROPPED a kilo, so 2.2 pounds, whilst in the land of super size! How AWESOME is that! She said that she was just way too busy running to really think about food. Amazing! I am so proud of her and so inspired! That is a huge, huge accomplishment! *standing ovation for Tanja*
I am thinking I may do a little documentary type blogging and maybe even a series of videos while I'm there to keep track of how things are going... I haven't decided how I'll approach it yet, but I don't plan on ignoring you all while I'm gone. Of course, if I disappera for a bit, don't fret, I haven't fallen off the planet just yet. Oh and I will post my pre-vacation weight here before I am off!
I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks! Wish me some luck!
I guess I just don't know what to say. Nothing is really "new". I am doing well. Things are going brilliantly. I'm just plugging along, doing what I do and the weight is coming off slowly. Lather, rinse, repeat. Oh and I am preparing for a 23 day stint in the USA.
oh, yeah, we can totally talk about that.
It's been a huge subject of discussion with Dewy and I, and in my last session we kind of just left it at "whatever happens, happens". If I gain, it's not the end of the world, and if I lose, then it's just an added bonus. When I get back into my normal life I am going to get right back to everything that works for me and life will go on. I am not going to get back into food obsession, binging, eating, restricting EVER, and especially not while I'm on vacation, so I'm actually pretty mellow (which is an entirely new sensation for me, especially before visiting the US, I used to get so wound up about weight, losing, gaining, etc, so this is very, very new, and, well, kind of cool). I am going to still shoot for my mini-goals (water, fish, fruit) and do what I do while I'm home. I will try to eat normal portions, which is actually the biggest challenge especially when we all know, nothing served to you in the US is a proper portion. And I do mean nothing!
I was, however, totally inspired by my friend Tanja, recently. She is also concentrating on dropping some weight, by similar methods that I am using. She is also an American living in the Netherlands and JUST got back from a US vacation. Being the super star she is, she actually DROPPED a kilo, so 2.2 pounds, whilst in the land of super size! How AWESOME is that! She said that she was just way too busy running to really think about food. Amazing! I am so proud of her and so inspired! That is a huge, huge accomplishment! *standing ovation for Tanja*
I am thinking I may do a little documentary type blogging and maybe even a series of videos while I'm there to keep track of how things are going... I haven't decided how I'll approach it yet, but I don't plan on ignoring you all while I'm gone. Of course, if I disappera for a bit, don't fret, I haven't fallen off the planet just yet. Oh and I will post my pre-vacation weight here before I am off!
I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks! Wish me some luck!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
what works for me
As I mentioned before DEWY (my therapist) has said that since I'm doing so well, they will slow down my therapy to being seen once a month and I kind of had a mini "OMG" freakout. I'm doing so well in this little routine and to change that, it's kind of scary. She suggested that maybe I should write down the things that work for me so if I ever feel like I'm sliding back into my old habits and lifestyle, I could take it out of hiding, read it over and bring myself back to where I am now. So I've done that for my appointment on Thursday and I thought I would share that "list" with you all. A lot of it you already know, some of it you may not, but here is what really works for me.
Keep in mind, weight loss is not cookie cutter and what works for me may not work for you (and that's okay!). For instance, I'm a simple cookie, only needing simple ingredients to work. I'm a surprisngly chewy cookie, with a bit of crunch when you first bite, but when you get right down to it, I'm pretty soft, with the occasional lump and bump of chocolatey goodness. I'll get stuck in your teeth and you'll spend the afternoon trying to get me out of your mouth. That's me. You may be a totally different kind of cookie, a nutty cookie, a no bake cookie, a cookie full of a rainbow of candy pieces... and you may need a different kind of mixer/oven/ingredient to be "just right". Find the right mix and the right ingredients to make yourself the best possible you! You'll be deliciously successful once you get that right recipe. (what a horrible analogy for weight loss, right?)
(Sorry this is in all caps. I did it in this neat kind of shadow font in MSWord, which looked cool there but I can't be bothered to change it for the blog. you'll survive, trust me.)
EATING EVERY 2-3 HOURS GIVES ME SO MUCH MORE ENERGY THROUGHOUT THE DAY
EATING EVERY 2-3 HOURS KEEPS ME FROM FEELING OVERLY HUNGRY AT ANY TIME WHICH KEEPS ME FROM OVEREATING WHEN I DO EAT.
EATING EVERY 2-3 HOURS TAKES THE GUESS WORK OUT OF “SHOULD I EAT THIS”, IT’S A SIMPLE “YES, IT’S TIME TO EAT” OR “NO, NOT YET”. THIS MAKES IT SO MUCH QUIETER IN MY HEAD. IT IS SIMPLE.
FOLLOWING THIS ROUTINE MAKES ME MORE CALM ABOUT FOOD CHOICES. THE BATTLING IN MY HEAD OVER FOOD IS OVER.
FOLLOWING THIS ROUTINE MAKES MEMORE CONFIDANT TO EAT IN FRONT OF OTHERS AND NOT BE SO PARANOID ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE THINKING OF MY CHOICES.
I NO LONGER HIDE MY EATING OR HAVE THAT SHAME THAT WAS ASSOCIATED WITH HIDING AND EATING.
I NO LONGER BINGE. THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE EVERYTHING THAT THIS MEANS TO ME. THIS MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE CONTROL. I DO HAVE CONTROL.
I KNOW NOW THAT FEELING “FULL” AFTER EATING IS DIFFERENT THAN FEELING “SICK”. I NO LONGER LIKE FEELING “SICK”, WHICH IS HOW I USED TO GAUGE IF I WAS DONE OR NOT. FEELING “SICK” IS NO LONGER ASSOCIATED WITH FEELING GOOD. WHAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD IS NOT FOOD REALTED AT ALL. WELL THAT’S NOT TOTALLY TRUE. FOOD, OR BEING ABLE TO BE AROUND IT LIKE A REGULAR EVERY DAY AVERAGE JOE, THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. HAVING CONTROL OF THIS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER THAN GOOD. IT’S ENORMOUS.
HAVING MINI GOALS WORK FOR ME. SO EVEN IF I DON’T ACCOMPLISH ONE GOAL, THE CHANCES ARE, I’LL STILL HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SOME OF MY OTHERS.
KNOWING THAT I DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT HAS MADE THIS EASIER. ASKING MYSELF TO DO 80% OF MY GOAL (AND BEING HAPPY WITH THAT) RATHER THAN KILLING MYSELF TO BE 100% PERFECT ALL TIME HAS HELPED ME RELAX AND AGAIN, BE MORE CALM. NOBODY IS 100% AND THAT’S FINE BY ME. I DON’T WANT TO BE THE FIRST 100% PERFECT PERSON, BECAUSE FRANKLY THAT WOULD BE ANNOYING.
IF ONE OF MY GOALS ENDS UP BACKFIRING, IT’S OKAY. THIS IS ALL JUST A HUGE EXPERIMENT TO FIND THAT BEST “FIT” FOR MY LIFE AND MY LIFESTYLE, WHICH WILL CHANGE AND EVOLVE AS I DO. I DON’T HAVE TO BE SO STUBORN TO THINK “THIS WAS MY GOAL AND I HAVE TO ACCOMPLISH IT”. I CAN HAVE THINGS THAT DON’T WORK AND THAT’S OKAY.
EXERCISING IS CIRCULAR. IT GIVES ME MORE ENEGRY. THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER, WHICH MAKES ME EAT BETTER, WHICH MAKES ME FEEL ENERGETIC WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO BE MORE PHYSICALLY ACTIVE.
Keep in mind, weight loss is not cookie cutter and what works for me may not work for you (and that's okay!). For instance, I'm a simple cookie, only needing simple ingredients to work. I'm a surprisngly chewy cookie, with a bit of crunch when you first bite, but when you get right down to it, I'm pretty soft, with the occasional lump and bump of chocolatey goodness. I'll get stuck in your teeth and you'll spend the afternoon trying to get me out of your mouth. That's me. You may be a totally different kind of cookie, a nutty cookie, a no bake cookie, a cookie full of a rainbow of candy pieces... and you may need a different kind of mixer/oven/ingredient to be "just right". Find the right mix and the right ingredients to make yourself the best possible you! You'll be deliciously successful once you get that right recipe. (what a horrible analogy for weight loss, right?)
(Sorry this is in all caps. I did it in this neat kind of shadow font in MSWord, which looked cool there but I can't be bothered to change it for the blog. you'll survive, trust me.)
THINGS THAT WORK
EATING EVERY 2-3 HOURS GIVES ME SO MUCH MORE ENERGY THROUGHOUT THE DAY
EATING EVERY 2-3 HOURS KEEPS ME FROM FEELING OVERLY HUNGRY AT ANY TIME WHICH KEEPS ME FROM OVEREATING WHEN I DO EAT.
EATING EVERY 2-3 HOURS TAKES THE GUESS WORK OUT OF “SHOULD I EAT THIS”, IT’S A SIMPLE “YES, IT’S TIME TO EAT” OR “NO, NOT YET”. THIS MAKES IT SO MUCH QUIETER IN MY HEAD. IT IS SIMPLE.
FOLLOWING THIS ROUTINE MAKES ME MORE CALM ABOUT FOOD CHOICES. THE BATTLING IN MY HEAD OVER FOOD IS OVER.
FOLLOWING THIS ROUTINE MAKES MEMORE CONFIDANT TO EAT IN FRONT OF OTHERS AND NOT BE SO PARANOID ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE THINKING OF MY CHOICES.
I NO LONGER HIDE MY EATING OR HAVE THAT SHAME THAT WAS ASSOCIATED WITH HIDING AND EATING.
I NO LONGER BINGE. THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE EVERYTHING THAT THIS MEANS TO ME. THIS MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE CONTROL. I DO HAVE CONTROL.
I KNOW NOW THAT FEELING “FULL” AFTER EATING IS DIFFERENT THAN FEELING “SICK”. I NO LONGER LIKE FEELING “SICK”, WHICH IS HOW I USED TO GAUGE IF I WAS DONE OR NOT. FEELING “SICK” IS NO LONGER ASSOCIATED WITH FEELING GOOD. WHAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD IS NOT FOOD REALTED AT ALL. WELL THAT’S NOT TOTALLY TRUE. FOOD, OR BEING ABLE TO BE AROUND IT LIKE A REGULAR EVERY DAY AVERAGE JOE, THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. HAVING CONTROL OF THIS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER THAN GOOD. IT’S ENORMOUS.
HAVING MINI GOALS WORK FOR ME. SO EVEN IF I DON’T ACCOMPLISH ONE GOAL, THE CHANCES ARE, I’LL STILL HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SOME OF MY OTHERS.
KNOWING THAT I DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT HAS MADE THIS EASIER. ASKING MYSELF TO DO 80% OF MY GOAL (AND BEING HAPPY WITH THAT) RATHER THAN KILLING MYSELF TO BE 100% PERFECT ALL TIME HAS HELPED ME RELAX AND AGAIN, BE MORE CALM. NOBODY IS 100% AND THAT’S FINE BY ME. I DON’T WANT TO BE THE FIRST 100% PERFECT PERSON, BECAUSE FRANKLY THAT WOULD BE ANNOYING.
IF ONE OF MY GOALS ENDS UP BACKFIRING, IT’S OKAY. THIS IS ALL JUST A HUGE EXPERIMENT TO FIND THAT BEST “FIT” FOR MY LIFE AND MY LIFESTYLE, WHICH WILL CHANGE AND EVOLVE AS I DO. I DON’T HAVE TO BE SO STUBORN TO THINK “THIS WAS MY GOAL AND I HAVE TO ACCOMPLISH IT”. I CAN HAVE THINGS THAT DON’T WORK AND THAT’S OKAY.
EXERCISING IS CIRCULAR. IT GIVES ME MORE ENEGRY. THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER, WHICH MAKES ME EAT BETTER, WHICH MAKES ME FEEL ENERGETIC WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO BE MORE PHYSICALLY ACTIVE.
Monday, May 09, 2011
29.9 is the new 30, right?
29.9 is considered 30 in most cases isn't it? I mean, if somebody gave me 29.9 jelly beans I would say they gave me 30 jelly beans (and I'd toss the .9 away because, what actually happened to the rest of that little bean, did you lick it?). If I bought a new sweater for $29.90, I would say I paid $30 for it. In most cases I can think of, I would consider 29.9 an even 30, so why in the world am I having such a hard time saying....
I have made my goal of losing 30 pounds by the end of May as of this very morning, May 9th 2011!!!!!
I want to shout it from the rooftops, I want to celebrate, feel awesome, smirk at myself in the mirror whilst giving myself that "that's right, you did it" look but I am holding back a bit. Why is the 0.1 having such a strong hold over me?!?!? It's ridiculous isn't it? ISN'T IT!?!?!?
So that's it, it's official, I'm marking this one with a "w" for WIN!
I weighed in with 123.4 kilos or 271.48 lbs (271.5, dare I?). That's a 13.6 kilo loss to date! It's a 29.9, awww screw it, a 30 pound loss!!!
I cannot believe I made it to my first goal! And I did it with 3 weeks to spare! I am so proud of myself. These next three weeks I am going to just continue to do what I've been doing and if I drop some extra weight, great, but if not, I still accomplished what I set out to do. Wow! What a fantastic feeling!
My next appointment with Dewy is May 19th and I am going to stay off of the scale until then. I don't want it to be my main focus or motivation, especially right now when I am feeling so positive and forward-moving. As long as I can stick to what I know, I will be okay!
Man, 30 pounds! I can't quit saying it! 30 pounds!
I hope you all are having healthy, successful weeks!
I have made my goal of losing 30 pounds by the end of May as of this very morning, May 9th 2011!!!!!
I want to shout it from the rooftops, I want to celebrate, feel awesome, smirk at myself in the mirror whilst giving myself that "that's right, you did it" look but I am holding back a bit. Why is the 0.1 having such a strong hold over me?!?!? It's ridiculous isn't it? ISN'T IT!?!?!?
So that's it, it's official, I'm marking this one with a "w" for WIN!
I weighed in with 123.4 kilos or 271.48 lbs (271.5, dare I?). That's a 13.6 kilo loss to date! It's a 29.9, awww screw it, a 30 pound loss!!!
I cannot believe I made it to my first goal! And I did it with 3 weeks to spare! I am so proud of myself. These next three weeks I am going to just continue to do what I've been doing and if I drop some extra weight, great, but if not, I still accomplished what I set out to do. Wow! What a fantastic feeling!
My next appointment with Dewy is May 19th and I am going to stay off of the scale until then. I don't want it to be my main focus or motivation, especially right now when I am feeling so positive and forward-moving. As long as I can stick to what I know, I will be okay!
Man, 30 pounds! I can't quit saying it! 30 pounds!
I hope you all are having healthy, successful weeks!
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Neglected
That must be how my blog feels... soooo neglected, but I can assure you, I am still very much here and very much participating in my weight loss life!
Things have been going so well for me lately that I kind of don't know what else to say. It's bizarro to think that you may be bored with hearing about continued successful moments, but in reality, it's always the train wrecks that catch our attention. Fortunately, I'm not really train wreck material (right now) and things are pretty steady. I'm still following the plan of eating every 2-3 hours, exercising 3-4 times a week, not binging, not obesssing and just trying to be a normal, functioning human. That's working out!
I did have a monumental moment last weekend though. We took my daughter, Sadie to Chimpy Champ. It's one of those places where kids can climb, run, jump, play, slide and do whatever else they want until they exhaust themselves. Back at the beginning of my journey at Novarum, with Dewy, I had gone to Chimpy Champ with Sadie and ended up sitting on the sidelines waving at her and Marco climb and play while I smiled happily and silently cried, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't climb with them. I was too big. I all but got stuck before giving up and taking my place as spectator in my daughters life.
But this time around, I could play. I even climbed up to the highest point and waved down at her and Marco. I jumped on the trampolines like a child. I bruised my knees weaving in and out of the tubes that just months ago (literally, about 8 or 9 months ago) I couldn't even think of fitting into without getting stuck. I had the absolute BEST time.
I could feel my muscles working as I pulled myself up the wall climb. I could feel my biceps burning as I held on tight to the ropes. I could feel my quads quading (or whatever it is they do) as I climbed up through the mazes of boards, wires and nets. I probably would have cried again, happy tears of joy, had I not been so busy absorbing up every second of Sadie's smile and laughter as we played together.
It was and continues to be these moments that she and I can really, really play together, not just me watching, that makes any effort I am making worthwhile. She deserves a Mommy who can run behind her, chase her, push her (forward, not down!), climb with her... and I am working so hard to be that Mommy. It felt fantastic. I was beyond happy. I felt proud. I am doing this!
I hope you all are having happy, successful weeks!
Things have been going so well for me lately that I kind of don't know what else to say. It's bizarro to think that you may be bored with hearing about continued successful moments, but in reality, it's always the train wrecks that catch our attention. Fortunately, I'm not really train wreck material (right now) and things are pretty steady. I'm still following the plan of eating every 2-3 hours, exercising 3-4 times a week, not binging, not obesssing and just trying to be a normal, functioning human. That's working out!
I did have a monumental moment last weekend though. We took my daughter, Sadie to Chimpy Champ. It's one of those places where kids can climb, run, jump, play, slide and do whatever else they want until they exhaust themselves. Back at the beginning of my journey at Novarum, with Dewy, I had gone to Chimpy Champ with Sadie and ended up sitting on the sidelines waving at her and Marco climb and play while I smiled happily and silently cried, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't climb with them. I was too big. I all but got stuck before giving up and taking my place as spectator in my daughters life.
But this time around, I could play. I even climbed up to the highest point and waved down at her and Marco. I jumped on the trampolines like a child. I bruised my knees weaving in and out of the tubes that just months ago (literally, about 8 or 9 months ago) I couldn't even think of fitting into without getting stuck. I had the absolute BEST time.
I could feel my muscles working as I pulled myself up the wall climb. I could feel my biceps burning as I held on tight to the ropes. I could feel my quads quading (or whatever it is they do) as I climbed up through the mazes of boards, wires and nets. I probably would have cried again, happy tears of joy, had I not been so busy absorbing up every second of Sadie's smile and laughter as we played together.
It was and continues to be these moments that she and I can really, really play together, not just me watching, that makes any effort I am making worthwhile. She deserves a Mommy who can run behind her, chase her, push her (forward, not down!), climb with her... and I am working so hard to be that Mommy. It felt fantastic. I was beyond happy. I felt proud. I am doing this!
I hope you all are having happy, successful weeks!
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