Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Good advice from many good people

After getting some good advice from my friend Keith, I went ahead and called my councelor this morning to plan my appointment for after my vacation. I don't want to have to wait another 3 or 4 weeks after I get back to get in, because Lord knows things can take forever here. Love his logic. (and his attentiveness to how things go here in NL)

After getting some good advice from my friend Claire, I have looked even further into Lap Band surgery just to be as informed as I can be and she basically said "if you're serious about doing it, then get to doing it". Love that girl and her ability to give it to me straight.

After getting some good advice from my friend Marco, who also doubles as my husband, I'm going to keep researching, talk it out with him, talk it out with Dewy, check with my insurance (and I think they cover it) and have some good sleeps on it. I'm going to keep trying to lose weight on my own but he understand not wanting to lose any more time with Sadie, being able to do things a parent should be able to do with their child.

Ali - I do appreciate your taking the time to comment on my last post and sharing your friend's experiences with me. (and the rest of this parapgrah is not just intended for you, it's to clear up questions from anybody reading this blog). I'm sure you didn't mean to imply that I thought that surgery was "easy" because, naturally, I'm not looking for a quick and easy fix. I think of surgery as another step in the process to aid in my weight loss, along with the help of my councelor and nutritionist. (and agasin, it's not that this is a "done deal' I am just thinking outloud via my blog).

I do know, as with any surgery, that there are risks involved, of course. There are bigger risks at staying this weight though too, such as heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, not to mention the damage I am doing to my joints. You (collectively) can be sure that this decision would be one that I would never take lightly, that I am researching and hasn't just popped into my head. I've been contemplating and reading over different surgeries for years. It's just that this is the only time that I have ever seen it really as a viable option. If I'm not a good candidate for it, then who is? What is the real criteria? Do I have to wait until I'm imobile? Do I have to wait until I am diagnosed with diabetes? When is the final step when surgery is actually acceptable? When I've battled my weight my entire adult life, and I'm now 34, when do I finally say, enough, I need more help? Is it when I'm 40? Is it when I have a health scare? What is that deadline that will make surgery a real, true option?

Thanks again for all of your input and all of your advice! Please, good, bad, positive, negative, leave me your comments. Try to keep in mind though what I've mentioned above and don't assume I am walking into this blind or lightly (no pun intended).


The Lass said...

Hmm...I am struggling. Just as much as you are, unfortunately. I am so unhappy and frustrated with myself at times. But I am determined to keep on keeping on, because for me personally, surgery is just not an option. I have made really good progress mentally and I am taking things one day at a time. You said you're unable to do things with Sadie right now - could you elaborate on that?

Anonymous said...

Hi Lass,

What I mean by that is for instance (and this is just one example of many) last week we were at an indoor playground and I had to sit by the side and watch her and Marco play, jump, run and climb all over while I waved at them from a chair that I could barely sit in. I couldn't even hold back the tears as she waved her little hand to me.

When she takes off running away from me outside, which all two year olds do, it really takes everything I can to catch up to her.

I don't have the basic ability or energy to play with her, the way a fit and healthy mother should.

I have foot pain daily and knee pain as well which makes walking with out outside, even tothe playground a painful experience.

It's those types of instances that I'm referring to.

I know what you mean about keeping on, because that's what I've always said. but then I go back to my questions... when is enough, enough?

Erin said...

I hope your previous poster did not mean to imply you are looking for the easy way out. If she did, she has not read your blog for long, because you are most certainly working hard at this (even if you are struggling right now).
My father in law was considering getting gastric bypass surgery, but opted not to do so, which we were glad to hear. He has no drive to eat healthier or work out and has made no efforts to do so either. Without that mental shift, surgery is an easy, but temporary fix. I hope he does change his mindset and start working toward losing weight; once he is on the path, surgery might be the right option for him.

I think the fact that you are considering this is good. Definitely do the research, but do not let anyone think you are copping out by doing surgery. You have worked on your weight issues for a long time and deserve a helping hand, if surgery can give that to you!

Ali said...

I am sorry I insulted you. I didn't mean to. I was just telling you what happened to my friend and what I've read about. I really never thought you could take it as an offense.

I used to read this blog from a gal who had gastric bypass and honestly - I was surprised to read that though she has a great life being thin and accepted and loved by society now, physically she struggles every day because of her surgery. It was a surprise to ME. Because when you watch Oprah and whatnot you only see the happy people who say it was the best thing they ever did. I said "some" people think it's the easy way out. And yes, I think you know I've read your blog for over three years, so I know what kind of person you are and I don't think you are the "easy way out" kind of person. But a lot of people who I've talked to who had gastric bypass or lap band WERE the easy way out person (people who've been on a million diets but never saw one through for more than a few weeks, people who never forced themselves to go to the gym because it is embarrassing in the beginning, people who though changing your diet means living on Lean Cuisine meals - in short - not people like you and me). And that was partly keeping me from having it done myself - because I don't see myself like them (and I don't see you as them either).

Mostly I wanted to say - from what I saw and read - lap band surgery seems to be much less of a good option than gastric bypass (though gastric bypass is of course much more dangerous) . What I forgot to mention yesterday (and probably you've read this before too) is that when you have gastric bypass your body's chemistry changes immediately. If you were borderline diabetic, you are all of a sudden, pretty much from one day to another - not anymore. And most importantly your hormonal chemistry changes. People with extra weight have hormonal imbalances which make you overeat and not care.
When I lost weight before (around 100 pounds) I thought it was so easy and so much fun - and I think that was because after a few months of living really healthy and exercising a lot, maybe my hormone levels went down to a more normal level. But I am not a 100% sure about this.

And when you have gastric bypass that's what happens to your body immediately - something that doctors can't explain (but they think it's because a certain hormonal gland is cut out with the part of the stomach).

Again, sorry for insulting you and sorry if I am just telling you stuff you already know. But you did ask for advice before and I just told you what I knew.

As I said right now for me everything is put on hold due to my pregnancy but if I can't make changes after the baby is born next year, then I might consider gastric bypass an option.
I give myself until the end of 2011.

The Lass said...

I am sorry you had to go through that :( The jumping, running and playing is something I do with our Bean, though, no matter my size (I think I weigh a bit more than you). Ok, the climbing I don't do, but I don't think I would if I were slim, I just don't like it. Did you not talk about joining a gym at some point,to help with physical fitness?
But of course you're right, you need to determine when enough is enough for you and then go from there.

@Erin: Certainly not. I've been reading this blog for a while, but apart from that, I meant precisely what I said: Surgery is not an option for me, I want to lose weight naturally, not through surgery. I do not pass judgement on people who do decide to go the surgery route, I am merely stating my feelings on the issue.