Monday, April 25, 2011

I'm just your average Joe.

I'm going to have to brag a little, so, you've been fairly warned. Easter would usually be a day that I would use as an excuse to forget everything I learned, forget everything I was doing and gorge myself on whatever was around, in mass quantities. "But it's a holiday" I would say to justify eating the ears off of my second or third chocolate rabbit, even if I wasn't hungry. I'd go to the party knowing exactly how I would leave...stuffed. That's what the holiday is about, isn't it? At least that's what it always had been about for me.

This time around was different though. I am no longer the Sarah of Easter Past, I am a brand spanking new kind of Sarah Bunny with an entirely different approach to food and holidays (I do still wear my "Bunny in training" badge though, I'm not comfy claiming "cured" just yet).

This Easter holiday I tried to be very thoughful of what I was doing (and trying to accomplish) and what I have discussed with Dewy, and I went into the holiday like any other day.

That morning I stuck to my usual routine. I ate every 2-3 hours up until we were at my brother and sister in laws house, where I knew I would be thrown off course. It's here that a lesson I learned at my last two appointments with Dewy came into play. I knew (and know) that I will be put in situations where it is "time to eat" before it is MY time to eat. My problem is, I don't want to draw attention to myself by NOT eating because then you get into big discussions of "why aren't you eating" or "Oh you're on a DIET" (God forbid) or just other uncomfortable things that people can say that make you feel self conscious. I want to avoid that. And honestly, I do want to eat with everybody else. It is part of the celebration of being together, sharing food and enjoying one another's company and why SHOULDN'T I do that?

So I did.

I brought a dill dip and tons of fresh veggies and sourdough bread and I snacked on that with everybody else. I kept in mind some of the tips that I read in the book Mindless Eating (great read, by the way, highley recommend it) and walked away from the area where the food was kept and concentrated on the conversation and what was happening elsewhere. By time lunch rolled around, I ate a normal portion of food and that was it. Done deal. No pants exploding, no miserable stomach ache from stuffing myself, just a normal, average, every day "I just ate my meal" feeling.

In fact, I haven't made myself sick from eating in ages... months upon months... I haven't rubbed my belly and said "OMG I'm going to puke" in a very, very long time. And although I say it with a smirk, it's actually a pretty big deal. I've taken a lifetime habit that I can trace back to my childhood and stopped it. I have stopped it. That's massive. It's not just a little thing, it's really, truely massive. Everything I knew about eating and being "full" has finally been redefined for me. I am eating like a normal, every day, average human.

It has never felt so good to be so average. Just your everyday, average Joe here. Nice to meet you!

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter or Passover and I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks.


safire said...

Sounds like you did wonderfully eating in a social setting. I find it so hard to walk away from the food spread but that's definitely a factor when I overeat at potlucks and other gatherings.

Have a wonderful week :) I need to look into that book!

CJ said...

Sounds like Easter Dinner was a huge success for you! I did good this year also, but at times in the past ate until I wanted to lay in the middle of the floor with my pants unbuttoned. My husband, who is not overweight at all, eats very little at potlucks & gatherings. He eats a healthy meal before we go, and once there makes a plate of what he wants to eat(it's usually not a lot), he doesn't sit down, and he mingles, walking from group to group, chatting with people, and no one ever notices what he eats or how much he eats. Of even 'if' he eats. Smart man. I think there is a lot we can learn by watching the habits of 'normal' weighted individuals (for lack of a better term.) Be good to yourself! ~CJ