Monday, July 06, 2009

Very sad news

My Grandpa passed away on the 4th of July. My Mom called to tell me the news and joked that he would have wanted to go out "with a bang". How fitting. How typical that my Mom would try to cheer me up with a joke when she'd just lost her father. I don't even want to imagine the grief she's filled with.

I feel a bit...helpless...I guess. It's never easy being far away from family but it's never so boldly apparent as to the vast space between us as it is in time like these.

I think with every death comes along a long wish list that will never be fulfilled. Those boxes will never be ticked. I wish I would have seen him a couple more times last time we were home. I wish I would have asked him all of the things I've always wondered about him. I wish he would have gotten so know Sadie better. I wish I would have been able to be there and comfort him or his wife or my mom or my uncles or my siblings or my cousins in those last few days.

They're having a memorial sevice on Wednesday. I wish I could be there. Not just for them, but for me, to say goodbye. I will miss him. I love you Grandpa Gene.

5 comments:

Melanie said...

My condolences on the loss of your grandpa. It makes it doubly hard being so far away. My dad was in the military while I was growing up and it was difficult to be away from family especially at times like this.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

becklette said...

i'm so sorry. i know you were really hoping to say goodbye in person.

Tina623 said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My grandpa died after I moved away. I understand the need to be close. I hope you are able to get closure.

Rachel said...

I'm so sorry for your family's loss - I will be keeping you all in my prayers! Love ya!

Erin said...

I'm really late coming in here, but I'm so sorry to hear about your grandpa passing away and that you weren't able to be there:(