I'm not weighing in tomorrow. I am making a conscious choice to wake up and not get on the scale. This is the first time I have ever purposely not weighed myself since I began losing weight in 2006. I don't know if it's necessarily the "right" thing to do, but it's what I'm doing.
This was not a good week for me. I have been emotionally eating like crazy and just don't want to face the scale. I know what I did, I don't need the numbers to prove it. I'm just exhausted, mentally and physically and I don't want to. I even told Marco this week "I give up. I can't do it" which I know is utter bullshit because I did it before. Of course now I have a 8 month old baby who still isn't sleeping through the night (she's still up at least 2-3 times a night) which throws a wrench in my physical and mental well being and my body is still adjusting it's hormone (they say it takes a year after birth to get back into whack, which is what I guess you do since you are said to be "out of whack"). But really, right now I am feeling like I can't do this and I'm also feeling like I just don't care.
So, that's how I feel today. And yesterday. And the day before. And the day before. I just can't be bothered to care right now. I'm not sleeping well (even when the baby IS sleeping), I'm too much "in my head" and I just never have been good at getting into bed, pushing thoughts aside, relaxin and going to sleep. I'm constantly thinking.
It's a shame. I "could" be back at my pre-pregnancy weight before I get home to the US if I worked my tail off and just did what I "should" be doing until September.
Who knows... maybe I will.
4 comments:
It will get better! (((Hugs!)))
Do you want to borrow Dr. Ferber's book?
Do what makes you happiest and the rest will take care of itself. You have a beautiful baby and a loving husband.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
Sleep deprivation is a form of torture you know, and being sleepy makes us hungry.
You're a new mommy, it isn't easy, relax a little and maybe just concentrate on staying the same weight for a week and see how you go from there...
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