After 2 weeks of pretty decent weigh-ins I wasn’t surprised to see a gain this week. I was surprised, however, to see how little the gain was. I’m one pound up from last week which is really nothing…well it’s something but not a big something. I have managed to say above the -60 pound mark (currently at 60.74 pounds down) which really does surprise me. I thought for sure that after hitting the 60 mark I would dip back into the upper 50’s a few more times but apparently that’s not going to be the case. Hanging out with 60 has been kind of cool but I think I’m ready to move on… maybe linger around 65-ish for a bit before making a mad dash for 70.
We did our new full workout routine last night for the first time. It was extremely challenging. My legs were like two rubber bands by time I got done with my lifting. I’m lifting heavier weights than I was in the last 8 weeks and in totally different ways and it really works me out. I honestly didn’t think I was going to be able to make it 30 full minutes on the crosstrainer when I jumped on but after about 10 minutes my legs finally gave in and went numb and I was able to finish the full routine.
My new shoes are working out great with one small exception. While on the crosstrainer my feet tend to go numb which from what I’ve read is normal as you’re not picking your feet up so the blood doesn’t circulate and your feet swell while training. This usually happens about 20 minutes into the workout. Well with new shoes they go numb and burn within about 3 minutes of being on the machine. I stopped and unlaced my shoes which helped a little but my feet were still on fire throughout most the workout. Hopefully this will subside as I break the shoes in… the sooner the better.
So that’s about it for my weigh-in today.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Hi Uncoordinated! Have you seen Sarah anywhere?
Like I said yesterday, today was going to be my first attempt at a step aerobics class. It sounded fun and interesting in the description and it also incorporated strength training so I could get everything all wrapped up in a neat little one hour package.
I put on my new workout wardrobe (which I looked totally cute in BTW) and headed to the gym. The instructor started the class with saying that she's been sick for 3 days so even though she was going to take it a little easy it didn't mean we had to take it easy. She also taught the class that ran right before this class so I was pretty sure she must have been tired. Poor little lamb.
For beginners, we didn't do a warm up, or if we did I didn't notice it. The class started out with some moves that I had seen before just from sneaking a peak at other classes... a grapevine, simple step up-step down moves. I kept up but tended to be just a half second behind everybody else. It was the most fast paced warm up I've ever done, if that's truly what it was.
I already felt that I may be in a bit over my head as the rest of the girls seemed to know all the moves as soon as she yelled them out. I had to stop for the first move, watch, then join in on the second set. I know from past experiences that when I'm trying to learn something or do something in a group and there is one yokel who is way off, it tends to throw me off right along with them. Like if I'm at a club dancing and somebody is dancing near me but has no rhythm then it automatically throws me and then I am off-beat too. Today I was the off-beat clown there to distract everybody else from being on beat.
Then things started getting tricky... or trickier (at least for me).
If this woman was taking it easy because she was sick then I would freaking hate to see her on a good day. Poor little lamb my ass! She was stepping, kicking, lifting, pumping, spinning all over the floor and step and I didn't even know where to begin to try to keep up. I would just be hauling my whole body on my step up when she'd be down and into the next move.
Trying to coordinate my arms with my step motion (which coincidentally didn't look like anything she was doing) with the real move that I was supposed to be doing was a nightmare. Step touch, kick, step, knee raise what? You usually do 4 sets of one move so by time I would come even close to getting a move down we would be changing to the next thing.
Then, disaster struck (as if I wasn't disastrous enough) I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror and let out an audible laugh.
And we all know that with every laugh comes an acute case of the giggles. I stopped looking at myself in the mirror immediately but couldn't get the image out of my head. So now I was watching the poor little sick instructor run and dance around her step like she was on speed while I fumbled around my step, arms flailing in random patterns while my shoulders shook from the giggles. I couldn't stop smiling because I just knew how utterly ridiculous I looked.
Within a few minutes I just stopped using the step and started doing moves flat on the floor. Maybe taking one part of the equation out would help, right? Nope...even then I couldn't get it right.
When I couldn't shake the giggles or the mirror image out of my head and was just standing there looking at this "ill" instructor buzz around like a Tasmanian Devil I decided to throw in the towel. We were only 10 minutes into the class when I gracefully bowed out. (If being graceful means silently cracking up with a huge eye squinting grin on my face while I quickly walked my step to the pile in the back of the class and wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes as I grabbed my towel and water from the floor and raced out the door before peeing in my pants, then yes... I gracefully bowed out). It was the most grace I'd showed all day.
When I began this journey I talked a lot about baby steps. This step class was a big girl step...with chunky stiletto heels...and a tight blazing red number that flares out at the bottom and swirls when you spin... something I'm obviously not ready for but hey... laughing burns calories too ya know!
I put on my new workout wardrobe (which I looked totally cute in BTW) and headed to the gym. The instructor started the class with saying that she's been sick for 3 days so even though she was going to take it a little easy it didn't mean we had to take it easy. She also taught the class that ran right before this class so I was pretty sure she must have been tired. Poor little lamb.
For beginners, we didn't do a warm up, or if we did I didn't notice it. The class started out with some moves that I had seen before just from sneaking a peak at other classes... a grapevine, simple step up-step down moves. I kept up but tended to be just a half second behind everybody else. It was the most fast paced warm up I've ever done, if that's truly what it was.
I already felt that I may be in a bit over my head as the rest of the girls seemed to know all the moves as soon as she yelled them out. I had to stop for the first move, watch, then join in on the second set. I know from past experiences that when I'm trying to learn something or do something in a group and there is one yokel who is way off, it tends to throw me off right along with them. Like if I'm at a club dancing and somebody is dancing near me but has no rhythm then it automatically throws me and then I am off-beat too. Today I was the off-beat clown there to distract everybody else from being on beat.
Then things started getting tricky... or trickier (at least for me).
If this woman was taking it easy because she was sick then I would freaking hate to see her on a good day. Poor little lamb my ass! She was stepping, kicking, lifting, pumping, spinning all over the floor and step and I didn't even know where to begin to try to keep up. I would just be hauling my whole body on my step up when she'd be down and into the next move.
Trying to coordinate my arms with my step motion (which coincidentally didn't look like anything she was doing) with the real move that I was supposed to be doing was a nightmare. Step touch, kick, step, knee raise what? You usually do 4 sets of one move so by time I would come even close to getting a move down we would be changing to the next thing.
Then, disaster struck (as if I wasn't disastrous enough) I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror and let out an audible laugh.
And we all know that with every laugh comes an acute case of the giggles. I stopped looking at myself in the mirror immediately but couldn't get the image out of my head. So now I was watching the poor little sick instructor run and dance around her step like she was on speed while I fumbled around my step, arms flailing in random patterns while my shoulders shook from the giggles. I couldn't stop smiling because I just knew how utterly ridiculous I looked.
Within a few minutes I just stopped using the step and started doing moves flat on the floor. Maybe taking one part of the equation out would help, right? Nope...even then I couldn't get it right.
When I couldn't shake the giggles or the mirror image out of my head and was just standing there looking at this "ill" instructor buzz around like a Tasmanian Devil I decided to throw in the towel. We were only 10 minutes into the class when I gracefully bowed out. (If being graceful means silently cracking up with a huge eye squinting grin on my face while I quickly walked my step to the pile in the back of the class and wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes as I grabbed my towel and water from the floor and raced out the door before peeing in my pants, then yes... I gracefully bowed out). It was the most grace I'd showed all day.
When I began this journey I talked a lot about baby steps. This step class was a big girl step...with chunky stiletto heels...and a tight blazing red number that flares out at the bottom and swirls when you spin... something I'm obviously not ready for but hey... laughing burns calories too ya know!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Statistical Update (now doesn't THAT sound like a fun entry to read!)
Today was our meeting with the trainer. It's been 8 weeks since we've met with him to get weighed in, BMI taken, fitness level evaluated... the whole sche-bang-a-lang. We do this every 6 to 8 weeks to keep our motors running, so to speak. "They" say you should change up your routines periodically to keep your body guessing and not get used to your workout.
Overall I think it went pretty well. I was super disappointed that Javier, our new trainer since losing Leineke our original trainer, was on vacation! I guess we all need some time off but GEESH, didn't he KNOW I was expecting him!
We worked with Martin who ended up being really great. He was very attentive to what we were saying, was asking good questions and seemed to really care that we got routines we enjoyed as well as challenged us.
So in this past 8 weeks I have managed to:
- decrease my weight by 7.7 pounds (3.5 kilos) which is lower that my personal goal but again according to "them" losing roughly one pound a week is a healthy weight loss.
- I have lowered my BMI by a whopping 2.8% in 8 weeks. That made me pretty happy. Since beginning working out at the gym in October I have decreased my BMI by 4.7% total. I am still at a high percentage, nowhere near healthy, but it is getting better with every single meeting.
- My fitness level is still "zwak" in Dutch or "weak" in English. On the bright side of things my zwak-ness is less zwaker than it was last time. I'm still far away from being "niet zo zwak" or not so weak but back in October, if you remember correctly, they almost had to create a new level altogether to describe my weakness. I'm content.
- I don't know how they calculate it but he seemed to be pretty impressed with the fact that I've added 1.5 pounds of muscle onto my body. Hell, I'm impressed why shouldn't he be? Muscle burns more calories while resting so the more I have the better. Again this also proves why I shouldn't be too torn when my scale isn't budging as quickly as I want it to. I am gaining muscle (which weighs more than fat) so it should be expected.
I think it's been a pretty productive 8 weeks then. I'm looking forward to starting my new routine. It always makes the time at the gym go by faster if I am concentrating on my form.
To celebrate our successes at the gym (Marco also did really well over the past 8 weeks, gaining muscle, losing fat and becoming more fit. Plus his legs are looking super sexy, Meeoooowww!) we went shopping and I got some new workout clothes and new shoes. Shoes always makes this girl a happy camper. Like a child I had to put them on as soon as they were paid for, they're so super cute! Marco didn't get anything but he does get to see me in my new workout clothes so that counts doesn't it?
Tomorrow I'm going test my new gear and to try to make it to a step aerobics class that also incorporates strength training into it. Since we weren't able to make it to the body pump class this weekend I thought this could be in interesting alternative. It starts at 11 so hopefully I'm up and running by then.
Overall I think it went pretty well. I was super disappointed that Javier, our new trainer since losing Leineke our original trainer, was on vacation! I guess we all need some time off but GEESH, didn't he KNOW I was expecting him!
We worked with Martin who ended up being really great. He was very attentive to what we were saying, was asking good questions and seemed to really care that we got routines we enjoyed as well as challenged us.
So in this past 8 weeks I have managed to:
- decrease my weight by 7.7 pounds (3.5 kilos) which is lower that my personal goal but again according to "them" losing roughly one pound a week is a healthy weight loss.
- I have lowered my BMI by a whopping 2.8% in 8 weeks. That made me pretty happy. Since beginning working out at the gym in October I have decreased my BMI by 4.7% total. I am still at a high percentage, nowhere near healthy, but it is getting better with every single meeting.
- My fitness level is still "zwak" in Dutch or "weak" in English. On the bright side of things my zwak-ness is less zwaker than it was last time. I'm still far away from being "niet zo zwak" or not so weak but back in October, if you remember correctly, they almost had to create a new level altogether to describe my weakness. I'm content.
- I don't know how they calculate it but he seemed to be pretty impressed with the fact that I've added 1.5 pounds of muscle onto my body. Hell, I'm impressed why shouldn't he be? Muscle burns more calories while resting so the more I have the better. Again this also proves why I shouldn't be too torn when my scale isn't budging as quickly as I want it to. I am gaining muscle (which weighs more than fat) so it should be expected.
I think it's been a pretty productive 8 weeks then. I'm looking forward to starting my new routine. It always makes the time at the gym go by faster if I am concentrating on my form.
To celebrate our successes at the gym (Marco also did really well over the past 8 weeks, gaining muscle, losing fat and becoming more fit. Plus his legs are looking super sexy, Meeoooowww!) we went shopping and I got some new workout clothes and new shoes. Shoes always makes this girl a happy camper. Like a child I had to put them on as soon as they were paid for, they're so super cute! Marco didn't get anything but he does get to see me in my new workout clothes so that counts doesn't it?
Tomorrow I'm going test my new gear and to try to make it to a step aerobics class that also incorporates strength training into it. Since we weren't able to make it to the body pump class this weekend I thought this could be in interesting alternative. It starts at 11 so hopefully I'm up and running by then.
Today was our meeting with the trainer. It's been 8 weeks since we've met with him to get weighed in, BMI taken, fitness level evaluated... the whole sche-bang-a-lang. We do this every 6 to 8 weeks to keep our motors running, so to speak. "They" say you should change up your routines periodically to keep your body guessing and not get used to your workout.
Overall I think it went pretty well. I was super disappointed that Javier, our new trainer since losing Leineke our original trainer, was on vacation! I guess we all need some time off but GEESH!
We worked with Martin who ended up being really great. He was very attentive to what we were saying, was asking good questions and seemed to really care that we got routines we enjoyed as well as challenged us.
So in this past 8 weeks I have managed to:
- decrease my weight by 7.7 pounds (3.5 kilos) which is lower that my personal goal but again according to "them" losing roughly one pound a week is a healthy weight loss.
- I have lowered my BMI by a whopping 2.8% in 8 weeks. That made me pretty happy. Since beginning working out at the gym in October I have decreased my BMI by 4.7% total. I am still at a high percentage, nowhere near healthy, but it is getting better with every single meeting.
- My fitness level is still "zwak" in Dutch or "weak" in English. On the bright side of things my zwak-ness is less zwaker than it was last time. I'm still far away from being "niet zo zwak" or not so weak but back in October, if you remeber correctly, they almost had to create a new level altogether to describe my weakness. I'm content.
- I don't know how they calculate it but he seemed to be pretty impressed with the fact that I've added 1.5 pounds of muscle onto my body. Hell, I'm impressed why shouldn't he be? Muscle burns more calories while resting so the more I have the better. Again this also proves why I shouldn't be too torn when my scale isn't budging as quickly as I want it to. I am gaining muscle (which weighs more than fat) so it should be expected.
I think it's been a pretty productive 8 weeks then. I'm looking forward to starting my new routine. It always makes the time at the gym go by faster if I am concentrating on my form.
To celebrate our successes at the gym (Marco also did really well over the past 8 weeks, gaining muscle, losing fat and becoming more fit. Plus his legs are looking super sexy, Meeoooowww!) we went shopping and I got some new workout clothes and new shoes. Shoes always makes this girl a happy camper. Like a child I had to put them on as soon as they were paid for, they're so super cute! Marco didn't get anything but he does get to see me in my new workout clothes so that counts doesn't it?
Tomorrow I'm going test my new gear and to try to make it to a step areobics class that also incororates strength training into it. Since we weren't able to make it to the body pump class this weekend I thought this could be in interesting alternative. It starts at 11 so hopefully I'm up and running by then.
Overall I think it went pretty well. I was super disappointed that Javier, our new trainer since losing Leineke our original trainer, was on vacation! I guess we all need some time off but GEESH!
We worked with Martin who ended up being really great. He was very attentive to what we were saying, was asking good questions and seemed to really care that we got routines we enjoyed as well as challenged us.
So in this past 8 weeks I have managed to:
- decrease my weight by 7.7 pounds (3.5 kilos) which is lower that my personal goal but again according to "them" losing roughly one pound a week is a healthy weight loss.
- I have lowered my BMI by a whopping 2.8% in 8 weeks. That made me pretty happy. Since beginning working out at the gym in October I have decreased my BMI by 4.7% total. I am still at a high percentage, nowhere near healthy, but it is getting better with every single meeting.
- My fitness level is still "zwak" in Dutch or "weak" in English. On the bright side of things my zwak-ness is less zwaker than it was last time. I'm still far away from being "niet zo zwak" or not so weak but back in October, if you remeber correctly, they almost had to create a new level altogether to describe my weakness. I'm content.
- I don't know how they calculate it but he seemed to be pretty impressed with the fact that I've added 1.5 pounds of muscle onto my body. Hell, I'm impressed why shouldn't he be? Muscle burns more calories while resting so the more I have the better. Again this also proves why I shouldn't be too torn when my scale isn't budging as quickly as I want it to. I am gaining muscle (which weighs more than fat) so it should be expected.
I think it's been a pretty productive 8 weeks then. I'm looking forward to starting my new routine. It always makes the time at the gym go by faster if I am concentrating on my form.
To celebrate our successes at the gym (Marco also did really well over the past 8 weeks, gaining muscle, losing fat and becoming more fit. Plus his legs are looking super sexy, Meeoooowww!) we went shopping and I got some new workout clothes and new shoes. Shoes always makes this girl a happy camper. Like a child I had to put them on as soon as they were paid for, they're so super cute! Marco didn't get anything but he does get to see me in my new workout clothes so that counts doesn't it?
Tomorrow I'm going test my new gear and to try to make it to a step areobics class that also incororates strength training into it. Since we weren't able to make it to the body pump class this weekend I thought this could be in interesting alternative. It starts at 11 so hopefully I'm up and running by then.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
"Fat" is not a personality trait.
I was pretty lucky growing up. I never got teased for being a chubby kid. Even as an adult I never really "suffered" from my obesity like the horror stories you hear on TV or read about on Facebook, with kids being tortured on the playground and adults who are ashamed to come out of their houses or be in social situations. I was never so awkward that I wouldn't go to my prom or meet new people. I was just never all that bothered with my weight. Even in a size 22/24 I still managed to feel pretty good about myself most of the times. I do realize how very lucky I am for that... my parents must have done a great job in that department! (thanks Mom and Dad!)
I've always had a bit of a mouth on me though so maybe that was why I was never a target for fat jokes or taunting. I've learned to filter over the years but I'm still not one to take too much bull from anybody without stepping in and setting the story straight rather quickly. I realize not everybody has the same attitude (or the self esteem or whatever it is) to do that though and I am writing this post for some of those people who have just never had the balls to say anything.
Being fat is not part of my personality. I can lose weight, gain weight, have lipo, get implants, cut off limbs, grow a third arm and that still wouldn't change me from the person I am now. I will still be a witty (read: mouthy smartalek) character when I'm at my goal weight, just like I was when I was at my rock bottom weight.
Being overweight doesn't mean I am lazy. I have worked my butt off at every job I've ever had. I've never had a problem keeping up with my thinner colleagues and in most situations I could work circles around them.
At one point in my life I was in between jobs when an uncle thought he should let me know that if I didn't lose weight I would never be able to find a job because people just didn't hire fat people. I, of course, got a job almost immediately and worked my way up the ladder within the company in a short period of time. When I left they were sorry to see my un-thin ass walk out the door. So that blows that theory.
Regardless of my experiences in life there are certain "visions of sugar plumps that dance in your head" when people think of the an overweight person. Just to set the record straight and to leave you with a clearer picture of those jazz handed dancers, here is the scoop:
Being fat doesn't mean that I'm jolly or jovial.
It doesn't mean that I am mean or bitter.
It also doesn't mean that I want to be thin or that I'm jealous of those who are.
It doesn't mean that I'm depressed.
It doesn't mean that I'm out of control.
It doesn't mean I'm dirty.
It doesn't make me ugly.
It doesn't make me unqualified for the job.
It doesn't mean I have no willpower.
It doesn't make me stupid.
It doesn't mean I'm sloppy.
It doesn't mean I'm unlovable.
It doesn't mean I'm unworthy.
It doesn't mean I'm weak.
Being overweight doesn't define me... it doesn't define anyone. I hope we all can recognize that in our daily lives.
I've always had a bit of a mouth on me though so maybe that was why I was never a target for fat jokes or taunting. I've learned to filter over the years but I'm still not one to take too much bull from anybody without stepping in and setting the story straight rather quickly. I realize not everybody has the same attitude (or the self esteem or whatever it is) to do that though and I am writing this post for some of those people who have just never had the balls to say anything.
Being fat is not part of my personality. I can lose weight, gain weight, have lipo, get implants, cut off limbs, grow a third arm and that still wouldn't change me from the person I am now. I will still be a witty (read: mouthy smartalek) character when I'm at my goal weight, just like I was when I was at my rock bottom weight.
Being overweight doesn't mean I am lazy. I have worked my butt off at every job I've ever had. I've never had a problem keeping up with my thinner colleagues and in most situations I could work circles around them.
At one point in my life I was in between jobs when an uncle thought he should let me know that if I didn't lose weight I would never be able to find a job because people just didn't hire fat people. I, of course, got a job almost immediately and worked my way up the ladder within the company in a short period of time. When I left they were sorry to see my un-thin ass walk out the door. So that blows that theory.
Regardless of my experiences in life there are certain "visions of sugar plumps that dance in your head" when people think of the an overweight person. Just to set the record straight and to leave you with a clearer picture of those jazz handed dancers, here is the scoop:
Being fat doesn't mean that I'm jolly or jovial.
It doesn't mean that I am mean or bitter.
It also doesn't mean that I want to be thin or that I'm jealous of those who are.
It doesn't mean that I'm depressed.
It doesn't mean that I'm out of control.
It doesn't mean I'm dirty.
It doesn't make me ugly.
It doesn't make me unqualified for the job.
It doesn't mean I have no willpower.
It doesn't make me stupid.
It doesn't mean I'm sloppy.
It doesn't mean I'm unlovable.
It doesn't mean I'm unworthy.
It doesn't mean I'm weak.
Being overweight doesn't define me... it doesn't define anyone. I hope we all can recognize that in our daily lives.
The planets aligned... I didn't gain this week.
Good morning everybody. Well sort of good. I'm home sick from work, have a terrible cold and headache. It started off with a sore throat yesterday and now my head feels like a gigantic bowling ball. It hurts to lay down because all the sludge builds up in my head causing my sinuses to feel like they're going to explode. The soreness in my throat has been replaced with a small cactus. When I cough I still feel my abs from my workout on Saturday.
To my abs: "It's Tuesday... I worked ya hard... I get it... now quit whining!"
Feeling craptastic didn't stop me from weighing in though. And after last weeks surprisingly great loss of 5.74 pounds I was super surprised not to see a 2 to 3 pound gain. For those who are new to my blog (welcome! Take a seat, and feel free to browse around a while. Can I get you anything, coffee? tea?) I have a pattern of losing big one week, gaining a little the following week but on the whole have been going on a steady downward slope.
So this weeks loss of not quite half of a pound (0.4 pounds to be exact) doesn't give me the need to run out and buy new pants but it does mean that I am still above the 60 point! To be really sickening precise I am 61.82 pounds in the negative (or 28.1 kilos)!!!
I've been incorporating more fish and salads into my diet (meaning less red meat since we're big beef eaters in this house), so maybe that's what the kicker was for me to not have a gain.
This week I want to get in at least 2 really good workouts as we're meeting with the trainer, Javier, on Saturday to get weighed in and I really wanna make him proud! I find that kind of odd, that I really want my trainer to be proud of me but I do. We'll get our new fitness routines and hopefully that will be enough to take me past the 70 pound mark before we get to the US!
Our trip is only 38 days away so I'll really have to push myself to get there. It's just a small little fun goal, not a definite "I HAVE TO BE 70 POUNDS LIGHTER" type of thing but it would be nice to be able to tell everybody, hey I lost 70 pounds! I am so very looking forward to seeing my family and friends. Sometimes the excitement overwhelms me.
Geesh when I hit the 70 pound mark I'll only have 30 more to lose to reach my initial goal. That's amazing.
To my abs: "It's Tuesday... I worked ya hard... I get it... now quit whining!"
Feeling craptastic didn't stop me from weighing in though. And after last weeks surprisingly great loss of 5.74 pounds I was super surprised not to see a 2 to 3 pound gain. For those who are new to my blog (welcome! Take a seat, and feel free to browse around a while. Can I get you anything, coffee? tea?) I have a pattern of losing big one week, gaining a little the following week but on the whole have been going on a steady downward slope.
So this weeks loss of not quite half of a pound (0.4 pounds to be exact) doesn't give me the need to run out and buy new pants but it does mean that I am still above the 60 point! To be really sickening precise I am 61.82 pounds in the negative (or 28.1 kilos)!!!
I've been incorporating more fish and salads into my diet (meaning less red meat since we're big beef eaters in this house), so maybe that's what the kicker was for me to not have a gain.
This week I want to get in at least 2 really good workouts as we're meeting with the trainer, Javier, on Saturday to get weighed in and I really wanna make him proud! I find that kind of odd, that I really want my trainer to be proud of me but I do. We'll get our new fitness routines and hopefully that will be enough to take me past the 70 pound mark before we get to the US!
Our trip is only 38 days away so I'll really have to push myself to get there. It's just a small little fun goal, not a definite "I HAVE TO BE 70 POUNDS LIGHTER" type of thing but it would be nice to be able to tell everybody, hey I lost 70 pounds! I am so very looking forward to seeing my family and friends. Sometimes the excitement overwhelms me.
Geesh when I hit the 70 pound mark I'll only have 30 more to lose to reach my initial goal. That's amazing.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Update from yesterday's OUCH! post
I'm still hurting today but it's bearable. My abs are still killing me but my butt and legs are feeling a smidgen better. The toilet is no longer a challenge.
It's brought to my attention how many times a day you actually use your abs, even for little things. For instance lets talk about stapling papers. Every time I staple a contract together I feel the pain (pain is a bit dramatic it's more like severe soreness). It's a quick flex of the muscle but who knew you used your abs to staple papers? You know you worked hard when stapling becomes a workout!
I also noticed that the soreness is a constant reminder of my tough workout it acts as a great deterrent from over eating or eating something even slightly unhealthy! Every time I feel a muscle I think of how much work I did and don't want to ruin it.
Hopefully I'll see the results in tomorrow's weigh-in but I'm not getting my hopes up too high. Again, it's not the numbers that matter anyway!
It's brought to my attention how many times a day you actually use your abs, even for little things. For instance lets talk about stapling papers. Every time I staple a contract together I feel the pain (pain is a bit dramatic it's more like severe soreness). It's a quick flex of the muscle but who knew you used your abs to staple papers? You know you worked hard when stapling becomes a workout!
I also noticed that the soreness is a constant reminder of my tough workout it acts as a great deterrent from over eating or eating something even slightly unhealthy! Every time I feel a muscle I think of how much work I did and don't want to ruin it.
Hopefully I'll see the results in tomorrow's weigh-in but I'm not getting my hopes up too high. Again, it's not the numbers that matter anyway!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
My 1st Bodypump class. OUCH!
Since I've been a little bored with the gym recently I decided to throw in a class on the weekends to mix things up a little. We had a choice between a spin class (stationary bikes), power yoga and bodypump. We chose the bodypump for a couple reasons. Spin class was too early for a Saturday morning and power yoga is mostly women in the class. Marco didn't want to be the only man in a class full of women, something about looking like a wuss I'm assuming. I wasn't too keen on my first yoga class being "power" anything so Bodypump it was!
The class incorporated a step, a barbell, a mat and hand weights. It was set to some thumping music, which I incidental LOVE, and was quick paced and oh so intense.
We started off with a warm up which almost made me throw in the towel. If this is the warm up what in the hell was coming next? Well I'll tell you... sheer torture in the form of a little by mighty man named Paul who was about 5'4 and weighed 120 pounds soaking wet was what was coming next.
We started with squats that incorporated some arm movements with the barbell. By the end of this part my legs were shaking like a new born baby deer. I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. I crawled over to my water bottle as we switched positions to work the next muscle group. I took one look at Marco and knew he was feeling it too.
I wobbled back over to my area to begin the upper body portion which again really pushed me to my limit. I was able to keep up although I swear somebody had snuck in behind me and lit my arms on fire. I mentally located the nearest fire extinguisher just in case, but ends up it wasn't necessary.
With a lot of the exercises that came along I would just about be ready to give up when we would switch to the next thing. Sometimes I wouldn't make it all the way to the end of a set and would have to stop but within a few seconds more that set would be over, so I almost made it.
I was unable to do the dips, which work your triceps. There were other tricep exercises incorporated into the routine so they didn't totally get neglected. It didn't surprise me that I couldn't do them though. We used to have to do them for gym class in junior high and I couldn't do them then either. Maybe that's a good fitness goal for me to shoot for.
I also couldn't do the planks in full form. It was only recently that I had even heard of planks to be honest. Here is how you're supposed to do a plank:
1. Lie face down on mat resting on the forearms, palms flat on the floor. (in class we actually rested our arms on our step, making the plank more difficult... yeah like I needed that!)
2. Push off the floor, raising up onto toes and resting on the elbows.
3. Keep your back flat, in a straight line from head to heels.
4. Tilt your pelvis and contract your abdominals to prevent your rear end from sticking up in the air.
5. Hold for 20 to 60 seconds, lower and repeat for 3-5 reps.
Little Peppy Paul showed me a way to do the planks from my knees that still gave me a good workout and definitely challenged me physically.
Some things I noticed in the class were:
The class incorporated a step, a barbell, a mat and hand weights. It was set to some thumping music, which I incidental LOVE, and was quick paced and oh so intense.
We started off with a warm up which almost made me throw in the towel. If this is the warm up what in the hell was coming next? Well I'll tell you... sheer torture in the form of a little by mighty man named Paul who was about 5'4 and weighed 120 pounds soaking wet was what was coming next.
We started with squats that incorporated some arm movements with the barbell. By the end of this part my legs were shaking like a new born baby deer. I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. I crawled over to my water bottle as we switched positions to work the next muscle group. I took one look at Marco and knew he was feeling it too.
I wobbled back over to my area to begin the upper body portion which again really pushed me to my limit. I was able to keep up although I swear somebody had snuck in behind me and lit my arms on fire. I mentally located the nearest fire extinguisher just in case, but ends up it wasn't necessary.
With a lot of the exercises that came along I would just about be ready to give up when we would switch to the next thing. Sometimes I wouldn't make it all the way to the end of a set and would have to stop but within a few seconds more that set would be over, so I almost made it.
I was unable to do the dips, which work your triceps. There were other tricep exercises incorporated into the routine so they didn't totally get neglected. It didn't surprise me that I couldn't do them though. We used to have to do them for gym class in junior high and I couldn't do them then either. Maybe that's a good fitness goal for me to shoot for.
I also couldn't do the planks in full form. It was only recently that I had even heard of planks to be honest. Here is how you're supposed to do a plank:
1. Lie face down on mat resting on the forearms, palms flat on the floor. (in class we actually rested our arms on our step, making the plank more difficult... yeah like I needed that!)
2. Push off the floor, raising up onto toes and resting on the elbows.
3. Keep your back flat, in a straight line from head to heels.
4. Tilt your pelvis and contract your abdominals to prevent your rear end from sticking up in the air.
5. Hold for 20 to 60 seconds, lower and repeat for 3-5 reps.
Little Peppy Paul showed me a way to do the planks from my knees that still gave me a good workout and definitely challenged me physically.
The ab workout was totally intense. I was able to do most of the exercises and complete most of the reps. I had a hard time with the ones where you cross your legs up in the air and keep them there while you're lifting your shoulders off the ground crunching your stomach muscles. Actually just typing that made me hurt.
Overall it was a super great workout and the time flew by! I couldn't believe we had worked out for an hour already when we started doing our cooldowns. It was like doing my whole weight lifting routine without the breaks inbetween sets and with more intense movements, although it was done with less weight that I usually lift.Some things I noticed in the class were:
- Even though I was the biggest person in the class I was still able to keep up with the others for the most part.
- When I would be struggling to finish out the set of exercises I would notice some of the "thinner" people would have already quit. I have to learn that thinness doesn't equate fitness or strength.
- I thought I would be more self conscious of my body in the class but I was so concentrated on getting the form right and doing the exercises properly that I didn't have time to notice myself let alone see if anybody was looking at me.
The cool down was great and made me realize how great stretching feels. We don't usually stretch after our workouts (I know, bad Sarah bad!) but I think I'm probably going to start.
After class we came home to shower. I could barely lift my arms up over my head to wash my hair. It was THAT hard of a workout. I was truly exhausted and my muscles were fully fatigued.
Today, the day after, I am hurting. I'm also finding creative ways to get on and off the toilet without straining my already sore muscles. I find that if you lean back almost falling onto the seat you can avoid most of the pain. Getting up is another story though.
We'll definitely be going back for more of this class and now I'm total enthused about trying other classes.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Battle Scars
When I was a little kid my dad used to tell me to be proud of my battle scars. It somehow made the fact that I just totally wiped out on my bike on the freshly poured tar and graveled road, skinning up both knees and elbows seem a little bit better... possibly even cool. It made me stop looking at my bloody knees as...well...painful bloody knees...but they were now symbolic of my daring personality, a trophy of the summer day spent riding my pink huffy through the streets of Gillespie.
I don't think I posted this here but I've sustained yet another injury at the gym. I'm not quite sure how it happened but a couple weeks ago I workout out in the evening and the next morning when getting out of bed I had pain in my foot as soon as I stepped out. I had to do the kind of limp-and-drag thing until my muscles got warmed up a little. If I would sit still for any amount of time it would take some time before I could walk normally again.
I talked to my trainer about this and he suggested I take a couple weeks off from the crosstrainer to heal and see how it goes from there. I initially panicked. What in the hell was I going to do with no crosstrainer for 2 weeks! Walking on the treadmill gave me the same pain in my foot so that was out. I hate the bike it makes my arse go numb almost instantly and I just don't feel like I'm doing anything. So I turned to the next best apparatus in the gym... the row machine.
I had tried the row machine before when I first started at the gym and it hurt my hands so I couldn't do it very long and eventually just forgot about it all together. Well now that I had no other alternatives it looked like me and that little "boat" were gonna be good friends for a while.
It turns out I freaking LOVE the row machine. I really have to concentrate to keep my form right and it makes the time fly by. Plus I can pretend I am in one of Amsterdam's beautiful canals racing right along side all the other athletes. We live really close to the Amstel canal and I constantly see teams of people rowing down through the water as their coaches ride bikes along side yelling instructions through their megaphones... now I feel like I'm one of them! It's an awesome leg and back workout and just mixing it up a little makes a huge difference in my gym time.
The downfall to the machine is the 3 huge blisters/calluses it gives me on my hands. As I was rubbing them last night after my workout I thought about all my little battle scars I've earned through my life. I thought that as I grew up those scars would become a thing of the past. Obviously I was wrong.
So, ya wanna see my cool new scar?
I don't think I posted this here but I've sustained yet another injury at the gym. I'm not quite sure how it happened but a couple weeks ago I workout out in the evening and the next morning when getting out of bed I had pain in my foot as soon as I stepped out. I had to do the kind of limp-and-drag thing until my muscles got warmed up a little. If I would sit still for any amount of time it would take some time before I could walk normally again.
I talked to my trainer about this and he suggested I take a couple weeks off from the crosstrainer to heal and see how it goes from there. I initially panicked. What in the hell was I going to do with no crosstrainer for 2 weeks! Walking on the treadmill gave me the same pain in my foot so that was out. I hate the bike it makes my arse go numb almost instantly and I just don't feel like I'm doing anything. So I turned to the next best apparatus in the gym... the row machine.
I had tried the row machine before when I first started at the gym and it hurt my hands so I couldn't do it very long and eventually just forgot about it all together. Well now that I had no other alternatives it looked like me and that little "boat" were gonna be good friends for a while.
It turns out I freaking LOVE the row machine. I really have to concentrate to keep my form right and it makes the time fly by. Plus I can pretend I am in one of Amsterdam's beautiful canals racing right along side all the other athletes. We live really close to the Amstel canal and I constantly see teams of people rowing down through the water as their coaches ride bikes along side yelling instructions through their megaphones... now I feel like I'm one of them! It's an awesome leg and back workout and just mixing it up a little makes a huge difference in my gym time.
The downfall to the machine is the 3 huge blisters/calluses it gives me on my hands. As I was rubbing them last night after my workout I thought about all my little battle scars I've earned through my life. I thought that as I grew up those scars would become a thing of the past. Obviously I was wrong.
So, ya wanna see my cool new scar?
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Willpower: The dirty liarmouth.
"I'm going to do it this time. I really am! I'm going to stick to it no matter what. I'm so sick of being overweight and I've had it! This is "it" for me!"
I think we've all said something similar to ourselves at one time or another when we started the next "diet" we were going to try. I would wake up that Monday morning with so much adrenaline pumping in my veins that it almost hurt. I would be so positive, so confidant, so excited. I'd have willpower pouring out my ears. I'd even have a little extra spring in my step. "This is the first day of the rest of my life" I'd chirp as I ate my rice cake for breakfast and left for work.
And it worked...for a little while. I would have the willpower to say no to the donuts that somebody brought for breakfast that day.
"Nope, I'm on a diet. Thanks though" and the smile never left my face.
I would have the willpower not to have a tall frozen yummy chocolate coffee drink with about 10,000 calories per serving (with extra whipped cream of course!).
"No thanks! I'll have one bottle of water please." I'd sing to the pimple faced teen behind the counter.
Willpower would allow me to say "no thanks" to the pizza everybody ordered for lunch as I munched away happily on my salad and carrot sticks.
Willpower was all I needed to get through those tough and trying situations.
And then something strange and unexpected happened...willpower stabbed me in the back quicker than I could say "double bacon cheeseburger, extra bacon, extra cheese, add mayo and hold any sort of vegetable you may lay on it."
Willpower is the dirty little secret that nobody warns you about. If willpower were a person I'd call it a dirty liarmouth to its face. And if anything, people lie to you about it's abilities. It'll fool ya all right. Willpower sounds all great in the beginning. It makes you think you're prepared to face the real world. It builds you up, makes you feel ready, gives you a pep talk, a slap on the back and then shoves you out there in the world, naked and exposed, to only slam the door behind you and click the lock so all the world see you standing on your porch in your birthday suit. Then willpower watches from the window and giggles as you look for a leaf big enough to cover your 'bare' essentials.
It's when you have that willpower, that super attitude that YOU CAN DO IT... that's when dieting or lifestyle changes are easy. Willpower makes it simple to embrace your life change and say "no" to the things you know aren't healthy for you. Easy Peasy.
It's what happens after the willpower diminishes that you really need to prepare yourself for.
We all know that feeling of empowerment that willpower brings fades out like a pair of stonewashed jeans (tight rolled of course, I am a child of the 80's after all). Sometimes it can last a few days... sometimes even a few weeks... but if you're relying on willpower to take you through to the end, to get you across that finish line... then you are going into battle armed with nothing but a Nerf ball and some duct tape, both of which are fun and handy to have around, but neither of which will help you much in your weight loss endeavors.
I've had to mentally and physically prepare myself for when willpower packs it's stuff and gets the hell out. It still comes back every once and a while to make an appearance but I'm no fool. I know it will leave just as quickly as it came and right now there is no tree with leaves big enough to cover my "assets" out on that porch.
So here's some things I've done to prepare myself for when willpower fails me.
I think we've all said something similar to ourselves at one time or another when we started the next "diet" we were going to try. I would wake up that Monday morning with so much adrenaline pumping in my veins that it almost hurt. I would be so positive, so confidant, so excited. I'd have willpower pouring out my ears. I'd even have a little extra spring in my step. "This is the first day of the rest of my life" I'd chirp as I ate my rice cake for breakfast and left for work.
And it worked...for a little while. I would have the willpower to say no to the donuts that somebody brought for breakfast that day.
"Nope, I'm on a diet. Thanks though" and the smile never left my face.
I would have the willpower not to have a tall frozen yummy chocolate coffee drink with about 10,000 calories per serving (with extra whipped cream of course!).
"No thanks! I'll have one bottle of water please." I'd sing to the pimple faced teen behind the counter.
Willpower would allow me to say "no thanks" to the pizza everybody ordered for lunch as I munched away happily on my salad and carrot sticks.
Willpower was all I needed to get through those tough and trying situations.
And then something strange and unexpected happened...willpower stabbed me in the back quicker than I could say "double bacon cheeseburger, extra bacon, extra cheese, add mayo and hold any sort of vegetable you may lay on it."
Willpower is the dirty little secret that nobody warns you about. If willpower were a person I'd call it a dirty liarmouth to its face. And if anything, people lie to you about it's abilities. It'll fool ya all right. Willpower sounds all great in the beginning. It makes you think you're prepared to face the real world. It builds you up, makes you feel ready, gives you a pep talk, a slap on the back and then shoves you out there in the world, naked and exposed, to only slam the door behind you and click the lock so all the world see you standing on your porch in your birthday suit. Then willpower watches from the window and giggles as you look for a leaf big enough to cover your 'bare' essentials.
It's when you have that willpower, that super attitude that YOU CAN DO IT... that's when dieting or lifestyle changes are easy. Willpower makes it simple to embrace your life change and say "no" to the things you know aren't healthy for you. Easy Peasy.
It's what happens after the willpower diminishes that you really need to prepare yourself for.
We all know that feeling of empowerment that willpower brings fades out like a pair of stonewashed jeans (tight rolled of course, I am a child of the 80's after all). Sometimes it can last a few days... sometimes even a few weeks... but if you're relying on willpower to take you through to the end, to get you across that finish line... then you are going into battle armed with nothing but a Nerf ball and some duct tape, both of which are fun and handy to have around, but neither of which will help you much in your weight loss endeavors.
I've had to mentally and physically prepare myself for when willpower packs it's stuff and gets the hell out. It still comes back every once and a while to make an appearance but I'm no fool. I know it will leave just as quickly as it came and right now there is no tree with leaves big enough to cover my "assets" out on that porch.
So here's some things I've done to prepare myself for when willpower fails me.
- I don't keep "not the best choice of foods" in my house. Things like nutella, ice cream and baked goods, which are all my weaknesses, are best left at the store. If I must have nutella in the house, it's kept in the cupboard that I do not get into on a regular basis. I once had a box of chocolates here that I just knew I had willpower enough to say "no" to. After eating about 10 of them (in about as many minutes) and then crying to my husband that I ate 10 chocolates, he threw them in the trash. I've not (successfully) had a box of chocolates in the house since. I have recognized this and know it's a problem so I won't try to kid myself that I can do it. It's okay to be human and have faults.
- I plan ahead for situations that tend to make me overeat, like parties. I know what I am going to do when I walk in. I know where to focus my attention and I know where to try to position myself in regards to food.
- I have actually practiced dialogues to use when I'm in a "food pusher" situation to get me out of taking or eating food that I don't need or want. We all have Auntie Meanswell, who knows you love _____ (insert food you are now trying to eat only on special occasions) and insists you have the second and third helping. Having a plan ahead of time has spared me fumbling for the rights words or worse yet, conceding to their pushing to save hurt feelings. *tip* ask Auntie Meanswell if she can pack some up "to-go" after you've had your first, regular portion. This means saving her feelings from being hurt, and you have the choice, away from her, as to what to do with the extra food.
- When I don't have the right frame of mind and come to a bump in my road I look back through the book that got me on this path, Dr. Phil's "The Ultimate Weight Solutions", and re-read the passages that I've highlighted. I re-read the things I have written while at Novarum, the center where I went for help regarding my food and weight issues. I refocus my attention on those small things that worked for me in the beginning because, low and behold, they will work for me now. I find the things that have proven to work for me and make sure they are still part of my daily routine. I allow myself to take things one day at a time, not feel rushed to lose weight, and to be human and make mistakes. I don't need willpower for that...I can be powerless but still have a will.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
I feel a little silly as I type this out today given my less-than-good-mood-I’m-a-crabass-and-I’m-sick-and-tired-of-all-this-stuff attitude in my last post. It’s Tuesday… my weigh-in day…and there was a 5.74 pound difference on the scale…IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION! I think my body was scared of my reaction if it didn’t show some improvement this week.
Body whispering to Scale “if you know what’s good for you you’ll come up with some low numbers. The lower…the better.”
So the official numbers as of today are: I am down 61.38 pounds (27.9 kilos) since July/August of last year. I have 38.62 pounds left to hit my goal. I would like to reach my goal my July/August of this year and it’s looking like it could be do-able.
I’ll have to admit I did a happy dance this morning. I happy danced in the bedroom after getting off the scale. I happy danced while I made my breakfast. I happy danced in the parking lot when I was dropping Marco off at work. I happy danced once I reached the office. I’ll probably happy dance a couple times more throughout the day. Just think of all the calories I'm burning just from being happy! (yuck that was a little sickening sweet)
Not this weekend but the following weekend we meet with the trainer to get weighed in, test out fitness levels and get new routines. Let’s hope my BMI % makes me happy dance once again!
Body whispering to Scale “if you know what’s good for you you’ll come up with some low numbers. The lower…the better.”
So the official numbers as of today are: I am down 61.38 pounds (27.9 kilos) since July/August of last year. I have 38.62 pounds left to hit my goal. I would like to reach my goal my July/August of this year and it’s looking like it could be do-able.
I’ll have to admit I did a happy dance this morning. I happy danced in the bedroom after getting off the scale. I happy danced while I made my breakfast. I happy danced in the parking lot when I was dropping Marco off at work. I happy danced once I reached the office. I’ll probably happy dance a couple times more throughout the day. Just think of all the calories I'm burning just from being happy! (yuck that was a little sickening sweet)
Not this weekend but the following weekend we meet with the trainer to get weighed in, test out fitness levels and get new routines. Let’s hope my BMI % makes me happy dance once again!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Honest Abe
If I've tried to do anything with my blog, I've tried to keep it honest so I'm not going to stop now. Sure I could paint some pretty picture of how I've been doing this week but what good would it do me? I've never fooled myself by telling myself "gee you've worked so hard and it didn't pay off" when I really sat on my ass all week and put no effort into my weight loss or "gee you did really well with your food this week" when I really ate more than I should have.
So let's continue the honesty.
I've had a crappy week this week... in fact the past couple weeks have been tougher for me than the weeks and months past. I honestly have felt like quitting a few times. I would never quit, it's not an option... but it doesn't mean the thought doesn't sneak into my head... sometimes it even hangs out for a while.
I'm honestly tired of going to the gym. I don't dislike the gym. I actually love my weight routine and it makes me feel strong. My cardio is boring the hell out of me though and it frustrates me. I'm going to really try to mix things up a bit... maybe take a class once a week to get off the crosstrainer for a while. I have had good intentions on taking a class in the past but the class schedules never seems to coincide with my schedule and very few classes are offered in the evening.
I'm honestly tired of running around all week long and I really need a break. I work M-F 9 to 5:30 getting home at 6ish. I have classes Mon and Tues. nights from 6:45 until 10. I workout Wed-Friday and Sunday. Usually Thursday or Friday nights we go to the in-laws for dinner. That leaves maybe a Saturday free with nothing to do except grocery shopping, walking the dog, trying to spend time with my husband, writing in my blog, keeping up with e mails and maybe having a shower and shaving my legs. I have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night or I tend to get migraines. I am too busy but at this time there isn't anything I can really give up to make my week less hectic.
I'm honestly tired of thinking about my weight all the time, thinking of what to eat all the time and thinking of how I'm going to get these last 50-ish pounds off. I am so tired of struggling and pushing myself. I am so ready for this shit to start coming more naturally for me. To be honest with myself a lot of it is coming more naturally for me, reaching for the right foods, taking the stairs but I really do struggle at times. I'm ready for that to be over. But if I'm going to be totally honest... I'm trying to undo a lifetime of bad habits, poor choices and a sedentary lifestyle. I've only been at it since July of last year... so I guess I shouldn't expect miracles at 7 months but for the love of God I'm so ready for this to be easier.
I honestly didn't even want to write this because it seems like all I've done recently on here is bitch and moan, complain and cry. I wish I could be more positive. I know there are so many people out there cheering me on, wishing me well and encouraging me but sometimes even that doesn't make me want to continue.
I honestly think my vacation in March can't come fast enough.
(and to be fully honest I really don't want to read a bunch of encouraging words from anybody. Reading a bunch of nice things about how well I've done so far and how this is a bump in the road just makes me feel like such a lame ass for even thinking the things I think.)
So let's continue the honesty.
I've had a crappy week this week... in fact the past couple weeks have been tougher for me than the weeks and months past. I honestly have felt like quitting a few times. I would never quit, it's not an option... but it doesn't mean the thought doesn't sneak into my head... sometimes it even hangs out for a while.
I'm honestly tired of going to the gym. I don't dislike the gym. I actually love my weight routine and it makes me feel strong. My cardio is boring the hell out of me though and it frustrates me. I'm going to really try to mix things up a bit... maybe take a class once a week to get off the crosstrainer for a while. I have had good intentions on taking a class in the past but the class schedules never seems to coincide with my schedule and very few classes are offered in the evening.
I'm honestly tired of running around all week long and I really need a break. I work M-F 9 to 5:30 getting home at 6ish. I have classes Mon and Tues. nights from 6:45 until 10. I workout Wed-Friday and Sunday. Usually Thursday or Friday nights we go to the in-laws for dinner. That leaves maybe a Saturday free with nothing to do except grocery shopping, walking the dog, trying to spend time with my husband, writing in my blog, keeping up with e mails and maybe having a shower and shaving my legs. I have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night or I tend to get migraines. I am too busy but at this time there isn't anything I can really give up to make my week less hectic.
I'm honestly tired of thinking about my weight all the time, thinking of what to eat all the time and thinking of how I'm going to get these last 50-ish pounds off. I am so tired of struggling and pushing myself. I am so ready for this shit to start coming more naturally for me. To be honest with myself a lot of it is coming more naturally for me, reaching for the right foods, taking the stairs but I really do struggle at times. I'm ready for that to be over. But if I'm going to be totally honest... I'm trying to undo a lifetime of bad habits, poor choices and a sedentary lifestyle. I've only been at it since July of last year... so I guess I shouldn't expect miracles at 7 months but for the love of God I'm so ready for this to be easier.
I honestly didn't even want to write this because it seems like all I've done recently on here is bitch and moan, complain and cry. I wish I could be more positive. I know there are so many people out there cheering me on, wishing me well and encouraging me but sometimes even that doesn't make me want to continue.
I honestly think my vacation in March can't come fast enough.
(and to be fully honest I really don't want to read a bunch of encouraging words from anybody. Reading a bunch of nice things about how well I've done so far and how this is a bump in the road just makes me feel like such a lame ass for even thinking the things I think.)
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Poor poor predictable Sarah
Tuesday's weigh-in and of course after last weeks "loss" this week I gained... 3 pounds... so says the scale. Monday I weighed in (although I am NOT supposed to do this and really shouldn't) and was the same as I was the Tuesday prior so the difference in one day makes me think that my scale is a big fat liar.
My body, on the other hand, is telling me a different story. My clothes feel different again. My pants are riding lower on my hips and getting baggy in the booty. My belly just feels smaller to me. (ok a little personal peek into me on the potty... when I go pee I hold my belly for some reason...I don't know why... I don't know when it started... I just do it....I just wrap my hands around it like a little belly hug). Well I feel like I have less belly to hug in the last couple of weeks.
It may sound funny but I feel taller. I just feel longer and straighter. I think that has more to do with attitude than anything but Í do definitely feel a wee bit taller now days.
We'll meet with our trainer again in a couple weeks to get weighed in, have our fitness levels tested and get our BMI's done. I'm very curious as to how much fat percentage I've lost. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised at my BMI even if the numbers in weight aren't what I'm wishing for.
This weekend Jayne is going to bring me over some size 16-18 clothing that she is donating to "the cause" (how very cool of her... let's give a big shout out to Jayne!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy Jaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyynnneeeeee!!!!!). I'm very curious to see if anything fits. When I started this journey (and I'm not sure if I've shared this on here before) but I was in a size 28. I "believe" I am now in 20's and some 18's in shirts. My upper body is way better looking than it's lower half and wears a smaller size. The 18's in pants may be wishful thinking but I'll be glad to have some more "goal" clothing keep me motivated.
So that's my news for today's weigh in. Fingers crossed for a good healthy week this week!
My body, on the other hand, is telling me a different story. My clothes feel different again. My pants are riding lower on my hips and getting baggy in the booty. My belly just feels smaller to me. (ok a little personal peek into me on the potty... when I go pee I hold my belly for some reason...I don't know why... I don't know when it started... I just do it....I just wrap my hands around it like a little belly hug). Well I feel like I have less belly to hug in the last couple of weeks.
It may sound funny but I feel taller. I just feel longer and straighter. I think that has more to do with attitude than anything but Í do definitely feel a wee bit taller now days.
We'll meet with our trainer again in a couple weeks to get weighed in, have our fitness levels tested and get our BMI's done. I'm very curious as to how much fat percentage I've lost. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised at my BMI even if the numbers in weight aren't what I'm wishing for.
This weekend Jayne is going to bring me over some size 16-18 clothing that she is donating to "the cause" (how very cool of her... let's give a big shout out to Jayne!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy Jaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyynnneeeeee!!!!!). I'm very curious to see if anything fits. When I started this journey (and I'm not sure if I've shared this on here before) but I was in a size 28. I "believe" I am now in 20's and some 18's in shirts. My upper body is way better looking than it's lower half and wears a smaller size. The 18's in pants may be wishful thinking but I'll be glad to have some more "goal" clothing keep me motivated.
So that's my news for today's weigh in. Fingers crossed for a good healthy week this week!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
54 more days until we're in the US of A!!!!!
We haven't been home (the US will always be home to me even if I live in the Netherlands for 20 years) since June of last year and I am sooooo ready for our upcoming vacation!!! I've had my countdown going since about December so for it to be only 54 days away makes it seem so very close.
Besides the fact that I don't have to work for 3 full weeks there are tons of things I am looking forward to. Of course I can't wait to see my parents and siblings. I REALLY can't wait to spend some time with my nieces and nephews. I super miss my friends and am looking forward to hanging out and playing some BINGO.
I'm looking forward to just having some time with my husband when we're not exhausted or just saying quick hellos and goodbyes when coming and going to work. Three weeks together, one on one, every single day, day in and day out...hopefully we'll survive!
I'm really excited about my brother's wedding. I just love my soon-to-be sister-in-law so seeing the two of them finally tie the knot after all these years is going to be awesome. Of course the whole family will be there and it's going to be a huge party so that's something else to be excited about. All the aunts, uncles, cousins, partners, kids, their kid's kids... it's gonna be big!
I can't wait to wake up in the mornings and have coffee with my parents before they go off to work and we start our running around for the day. I can't wait to bring breakfast over to my sister's house and listen to the kids scream and shout in excitement like they've never been fed breakfast before. I can't wait to hang out with Keith, Josh and TJ and make fun of one another and spend hours talking about nothing and drinking Starbucks and making Josh cook his famous burgers on the gwill.
I'm excited to see my friend Teena and her two beautiful little girls. I can't wait to see how big my friend Liz's two little rugrats are and spend some quality time with her and her husband.
We hope to have some time just to hang out and not be running around seeing and doing everything but if this trip is anything like our last ones then we'll come home and need a vacation from our vacation.
And now a short list of things I'm NOT looking forward to while I'm home in the US:
-American size meals with huge portions. It's oh-so-easy to over eat.
-The availability of cheesecake. Really really good cheesecake.
-All my favorite fast foody places that I haven't been tempted with since making my change. Taco Bell, Jack in the Box, DQ Ice Cream, the list goes on.
-mom's home cooking (not that her cooking is bad but on the other hand it's so freaking good and I want to have all the things that I can't get or can't cook as well as she does so that means a lot of food!)
- not having my strict schedule for my workouts like I do here.
We've kind of created a game plan for working out while we're home. Keith and Josh said we can go to their gym with them. We'll walk/jog with Scooter in the mornings some mornings and just try to fit in a workout here and there at a local gym. Maybe we'll even have to force ourselves to go out dancing... you know... for exercise!
I want to come back to the Netherlands just as healthy as I am leaving it but I have a feeling it's going to be a difficult task.
Besides the fact that I don't have to work for 3 full weeks there are tons of things I am looking forward to. Of course I can't wait to see my parents and siblings. I REALLY can't wait to spend some time with my nieces and nephews. I super miss my friends and am looking forward to hanging out and playing some BINGO.
I'm looking forward to just having some time with my husband when we're not exhausted or just saying quick hellos and goodbyes when coming and going to work. Three weeks together, one on one, every single day, day in and day out...hopefully we'll survive!
I'm really excited about my brother's wedding. I just love my soon-to-be sister-in-law so seeing the two of them finally tie the knot after all these years is going to be awesome. Of course the whole family will be there and it's going to be a huge party so that's something else to be excited about. All the aunts, uncles, cousins, partners, kids, their kid's kids... it's gonna be big!
I can't wait to wake up in the mornings and have coffee with my parents before they go off to work and we start our running around for the day. I can't wait to bring breakfast over to my sister's house and listen to the kids scream and shout in excitement like they've never been fed breakfast before. I can't wait to hang out with Keith, Josh and TJ and make fun of one another and spend hours talking about nothing and drinking Starbucks and making Josh cook his famous burgers on the gwill.
I'm excited to see my friend Teena and her two beautiful little girls. I can't wait to see how big my friend Liz's two little rugrats are and spend some quality time with her and her husband.
We hope to have some time just to hang out and not be running around seeing and doing everything but if this trip is anything like our last ones then we'll come home and need a vacation from our vacation.
And now a short list of things I'm NOT looking forward to while I'm home in the US:
-American size meals with huge portions. It's oh-so-easy to over eat.
-The availability of cheesecake. Really really good cheesecake.
-All my favorite fast foody places that I haven't been tempted with since making my change. Taco Bell, Jack in the Box, DQ Ice Cream, the list goes on.
-mom's home cooking (not that her cooking is bad but on the other hand it's so freaking good and I want to have all the things that I can't get or can't cook as well as she does so that means a lot of food!)
- not having my strict schedule for my workouts like I do here.
We've kind of created a game plan for working out while we're home. Keith and Josh said we can go to their gym with them. We'll walk/jog with Scooter in the mornings some mornings and just try to fit in a workout here and there at a local gym. Maybe we'll even have to force ourselves to go out dancing... you know... for exercise!
I want to come back to the Netherlands just as healthy as I am leaving it but I have a feeling it's going to be a difficult task.
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