Sunday, February 25, 2007

Hi Uncoordinated! Have you seen Sarah anywhere?

Like I said yesterday, today was going to be my first attempt at a step aerobics class. It sounded fun and interesting in the description and it also incorporated strength training so I could get everything all wrapped up in a neat little one hour package.

I put on my new workout wardrobe (which I looked totally cute in BTW) and headed to the gym. The instructor started the class with saying that she's been sick for 3 days so even though she was going to take it a little easy it didn't mean we had to take it easy. She also taught the class that ran right before this class so I was pretty sure she must have been tired. Poor little lamb.

For beginners, we didn't do a warm up, or if we did I didn't notice it. The class started out with some moves that I had seen before just from sneaking a peak at other classes... a grapevine, simple step up-step down moves. I kept up but tended to be just a half second behind everybody else. It was the most fast paced warm up I've ever done, if that's truly what it was.

I already felt that I may be in a bit over my head as the rest of the girls seemed to know all the moves as soon as she yelled them out. I had to stop for the first move, watch, then join in on the second set. I know from past experiences that when I'm trying to learn something or do something in a group and there is one yokel who is way off, it tends to throw me off right along with them. Like if I'm at a club dancing and somebody is dancing near me but has no rhythm then it automatically throws me and then I am off-beat too. Today I was the off-beat clown there to distract everybody else from being on beat.

Then things started getting tricky... or trickier (at least for me).

If this woman was taking it easy because she was sick then I would freaking hate to see her on a good day. Poor little lamb my ass! She was stepping, kicking, lifting, pumping, spinning all over the floor and step and I didn't even know where to begin to try to keep up. I would just be hauling my whole body on my step up when she'd be down and into the next move.

Trying to coordinate my arms with my step motion (which coincidentally didn't look like anything she was doing) with the real move that I was supposed to be doing was a nightmare. Step touch, kick, step, knee raise what? You usually do 4 sets of one move so by time I would come even close to getting a move down we would be changing to the next thing.

Then, disaster struck (as if I wasn't disastrous enough) I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror and let out an audible laugh.

And we all know that with every laugh comes an acute case of the giggles. I stopped looking at myself in the mirror immediately but couldn't get the image out of my head. So now I was watching the poor little sick instructor run and dance around her step like she was on speed while I fumbled around my step, arms flailing in random patterns while my shoulders shook from the giggles. I couldn't stop smiling because I just knew how utterly ridiculous I looked.

Within a few minutes I just stopped using the step and started doing moves flat on the floor. Maybe taking one part of the equation out would help, right? Nope...even then I couldn't get it right.

When I couldn't shake the giggles or the mirror image out of my head and was just standing there looking at this "ill" instructor buzz around like a Tasmanian Devil I decided to throw in the towel. We were only 10 minutes into the class when I gracefully bowed out. (If being graceful means silently cracking up with a huge eye squinting grin on my face while I quickly walked my step to the pile in the back of the class and wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes as I grabbed my towel and water from the floor and raced out the door before peeing in my pants, then yes... I gracefully bowed out). It was the most grace I'd showed all day.

When I began this journey I talked a lot about baby steps. This step class was a big girl step...with chunky stiletto heels...and a tight blazing red number that flares out at the bottom and swirls when you spin... something I'm obviously not ready for but hey... laughing burns calories too ya know!


kimberly said...

Never NEVER try to do the arms on your 1st (few) step classes. Sheesh! LOL. Many moons ago, I used to do step, and I could NEVER make the arms work. Just do the little bicep curl things, if you want your arms moving. It's way too complicated otherwise!

(oh, and that was the warmup...grapevines, and step up and down thingies tend to be it).

Good job though!

Amy said...

So, would it be safe to say that your step moves were in comparison to Seinfeld's Elaine-dance-moves? Although, that may be a bit too extreme! I do whatever I can to avoid looking at myself in the mirror during any physical activity. It just isn't a pretty site to see.

...spinning takes much less coordination, and at my gym at least it's in a darkened room!

Anonymous said...

Keep on taking the step classes, they are a great way to burn fat!
I remember my first step class. I was totally overwhelmed but I got used to it. About 6 month after I started to take step, I wanted to take on another step class and I realised that the class I had been taking for 6 month was actually an advanced class. The new class I was taking was a beginners class and was way too easy.
So, what I want to say is - you probably joined an advanced class (pretty much every class that doesn't say 'beginners' is an advanced class). Just keep on going, don't use the hands in the beginning and try to find a place on the side so you don't see yourself in the mirror and get distracted. I am sure in a few month you will absolutely love it.
It's also great for your concentration as you have to remember the combinations and all.