Sunday, October 15, 2006

A Lovely Shade of Purple

Working out really has it's benefits and I'm reaping the rewards. I look better. I feel better. I have more energy. I'm more confident. I have a better job. I have hot guys wanting to slather me with hot oils and massage my.... oh wait, that's the Super Duper Fat Blaster 2006 Deluxe Supreme "lose 50 pounds in 50 seconds" commercial. Sorry, we're talking about me here.

But seriously, I really do feel better and have more energy. It's amazing how that works, isn't it? I go to the gym pick up heavy things, put them down. Pick up more heavy things, put them down again. I sit, I crunch, I pull, I push, I stretch, I run, I bike, I elliptical (?)... I do everything I can to expend every ounce of energy I have until my body is shaking from the shock of it all and voila.... I have more energy.

Don't you wish money worked that way?

I do have to admit, I do feel quite a bit more confident since fitting into my skinny jeans (and since then also taking another 8 pairs of pants out of the old cellar and sliding them on easily!). There's a little more spring in my step... a little more 'sas' in my sashay if ya catch my drift *wink wink nudge nudge*. Ya just feel better when you know you're doing something positive for yourself.

But with all this positive stuff going on I still have one things that really bothers me at the gym or when I am working out. This one thing makes me feel so self conscious that I think everybody is staring at me. It makes me feel like a total freakshow. It makes me think that everybody else is just waiting for me to have a heart attack right then and there and I don't know how to get rid of it.

It's my big... giant... purple...head!

Ok so my head isn't giant but yes folks, I turn a lovely shade of purple when I work out. It's not a nice flushed pinky color like some people turn. I don't even turn a 'sunburn' red, which would be acceptable...nope... I turn a deep dark purple-red that makes me look like I've been standing on my head for 3 weeks straight.

It actually frightened me the first time I saw it in the mirror, so I can imagine what others think when they come around the corner to see me gliding away on my elliptical machine, mouthing the words to "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" sporting a dripping wet, purple, sweaty head.

I've tried everything I can think of to try to keep it under control. I dress in cool clothes. I pick machines that are directly in front of the air vents. I drink water. There's just nothing I can do to stop this phenomenon that is "the big purple head".

I've accepted it. I have a purple head. I don't embrace the purple head,I don't want the purple head but it is my purple head and I will learn to love it. Maybe this is my bodies way of getting back at me? It's its own way of saying to me "HA! You've abused me all these years and now all sudden you want me to work out...look good...oh no you di-int."

So if you happen to be at the gym and notice a girl with a purple head, stop by and sing John Denver with me...

"When the sun's coming up I got cakes on the griddle.

Life ain't nuttin but a funny funny riddle

Thank God for my Purple Head!"

(sorry if you now have Thank God I'm a Country Boy stuck in your head!)

1 comment:

Monica said...

I've always fancied the term "ellipsercize" for the elliptical machine... :-)