Icky goes down!

I've felt "icky" both yesterday and today. Not really sick or anything just icky. Like this morning I woke up and looked in the mirror and was appalled at what was looking back at me. Yuck.

I had fallen asleep with wet hair. That's always attractive. I put water on it to try to tame it a little but of course my curls and waves have their own agenda and today was "it doesn't matter what you put on me I'm not laying down but I will frizz for you" day.

I tried on 5 different shirts in a rainbow of colors trying to find the one that didn't make me look nearly as pasty as I obviously am, that also didn't magnify the nice big blazing zit on my face (which only looks even redder on my I'm-so-white-I-glow skin) but still didn't draw attention to the rather large black circles under my eyes.

I walked out of the bedroom dressed but defeated. There was no magic shirt or hair tonic in there that was going to make my head look any better. (My feelings of less that pretty-ness were later confirmed by the nice man in the Turkish fruit and veggie market who greeted me with a smile that was quickly followed by a shocked expression and then finally the question is his broken English "You are tired?" Yeah, thanks buddy.)

I made it through my day at the office and came home to one happy puppy and a nice salad that my sweet husband had brought me for supper. I had my supper and settled in to watch some TV in order to let my food settle before I headed to the gym.

The choice in TV matched how I felt... it was icky. Nothing was on. So I hopped on the computer to entertain myself. I didn't feel like sending anybody any emails (sorry guys!). I already read all my regular blogs yesterday and nobody posted anything new. Blah.

I felt icky, I was icky and I wanted to just remain icky. Marco called me to see how I was doing and of course I told him I was icky. He asked about going to the gym and of course I moaned and groaned. Then he gave me an out. He said "well if you're not feeling good then don't go to the gym." No guilt trip, no "Sarah you really should go because I went today" just a simple "ok then don't go".

We hung up and I was satisfied. Whew. I could sit here and fester in my ickyness and didn't have to worry about anything. I mean I have a right to feel icky and not workout don't I? I deserve a break when I need one don't I? Icky people shouldn't go to a public place and be seen by other non-icky people, should they? I am entitled to wallow in ick. Icky is a valid reason... well it's an argument...well, ok... it's an EXCUSE.

So I started thinking about my ickyness and feeling guilty (was this some sly sort of reverse psychology my husband played on me?!?!?!). I had Good Sarah and Evil Sarah duking it out on my shoulders. Is icky enough? Was I icky because I refused to de-icktify myself? How would I feel tomorrow if I let icky kick my butt today? What do the people on the Biggest Loser do on their icky days? WWJD (what would Jillian do?) with her ickyness?

I'm proud to say that icky went down in the book of "excuses that won't get you out of exercising". Again it was the whole Biggest Loser inspiration that made me finally say "you have to go even if you look and feel icky" and you know what? I no longer feel icky. Yes, I'm still as white as a a pair of porcelain veneers. My mega zit is still bright and shiny. My bags under my eyes are still hanging out. I didn't say I no longer LOOKED icky but I no longer feel icky.

My workout gave me renewed energy and I'm so very glad I pushed myself to go. One day of ickyness is enough to lead me into a weekend of excuses and missing the gym.

So I'm going to bed now in hopes that a good nights sleep will allow my outsides to catch up with my inner non-icky-ness!