Friday, February 12, 2010

Why can't people MYOB?

Why in the world would the lunch ladies feel the need to comment on the volume of food on my tray yesterday?

her: "you must be hungry today"

me, (in my head) "Why are you so mean? Why would you say that? I strongly dislike your guts right now, you mean, nosey lunch lady. I have steamed veggies, a sausage (that came with the veggies that I only planned on eating half of) and a bowl of veggie soup. That's not a TON of food and it's a heck of a lot better than some of the other choices in the cafeteria today. If you only knew that I would think about your comment throughout my entire lunch and for the rest of the day then you would feel so guilty that you would never comment on another person's food choices ever again. Why can't you be like the rest of the people and comment on the weather, like normal people who are talking to me, the person with the weight problem? I can handle the weather. My conscious can handle "I'm sick of the snow", my teetering personality can talk about the grey sky all day long. What business is it of yours if I want to eat ice cream and chocolate with a can of coke for lunch? Who are you, lunch lady? Just who exactly are you?!?!?!?!?”

me (out of my head and through my mouth): Yeah, it looked good. Thanks, have a good day.

(Back in my head) have a great day you dismal, judgmental turd. Plus, I don’t like your hair or your shoes. A great freaking day!!!!!


The Austrian said...

I don't think she was making a personal comment. Dutch people tend to say really random things, just to make conversation. Small talk is something they can't do (I can't either, so I never minded it that much).
I have had my Dutch co-workers tell me I looked really horrible on a certain day (I had a bad cold that day). I didn't mind it so much because they just say whatever comes to their mind. I know this will sound horrible but in a lot of ways Dutch people are just a lot more "simple" when it comes to their personalities.

I remember one lunch lady telling one of my colleagues (a 5.10, size 4, drop-dead gorgeous Norwegian) when she was buying a candy-bar "Morgen even weer balance dag, heh?". My co-worker was mortified. But really, the lunch lady was just trying to make conversation.

I have learned to tune out comments and usually you can tell how they are meant. I live in America now and my dental hygenist told me I have a pretty and skinny face for a "hipp-ey" (read - big butted) girl. But I knew she meant it as a compliment, so I wasn't angry at her. I actually wasn't even embarrassed.
In Austria we have a saying "People talk a lot of crap on a long day" - meaning often people will say stuff that's stupid or doesn't make sense just to fill in silence.

Good for you for making good food choices though! You should be proud of yourself!

The Austrian said...

Oh and I remember another time at work - this was at a time when I had just lost about 100 pounds. I brought my own salad to work every day. On "lazy" days I would bring AH or C1000 salads and just use half of the dressing and leave out the croutons (and make sure I get the salads that had under 400 calories).
Some of my French co-workers were complimenting the way that I eat when one of my Dutch colleagues started saying "Oh common, that's not healthy, look at all that cheese in the salad. And the dressing. And the roast chicken.". I agreed with him - it wasn't the healthiest salad after all. The French just looked at the Dutch guy like he was a complete lunatic since here I was sitting, 100 pounds lighter, it couldn't have been such a bad food choice right? I actually found it hilarious that this Dutch guy made such a douche bag out of himself just so he could come up with something to talk about.
Living in Holland, you just have to accept that whatever these people say, they will have forgotten about 5 minutes later and they are really just saying it so they say something.

Erin said...

What an odd comment given that you had 3 things on your plate. I would believe that is a comment she probably thought about after she asked it, because unless your food was piled and spilling off of your tray (which is doesn't sound like it was), it's a odd question.

becklette said...

random anecdote:

about... ten years ago, my parents took all five of us (kids) to italy. my youngest brother was, eh, 10-11 i suppose. one night at dinner he asked for a family-sized side of veggies. try as we might to convince him that wasn't what he wanted, he insisted that he was very, very hungry. ummm, damned if the kid didn't eat a family-sized side of veggies in addition to his pizza.

moral of the story: eh. i'm just thinking, maybe there's something instinctive about vegetables = REAL hunger. not, i-want-to-eat hunger, but that i-need-food-to-live hunger. i dunno. f' her! and her ugly shoes!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the comments ladies. "The Austrian" thanks for taking so much time to type all of that out. That's really sweet!

I do realize not to take things the Dutch say to heart, I know she didn't mean anything by it at all. This was more about how I can interpret such a seemingly innocent comment and blow it totally out of porportion because of where I am mentally at the moment or on that day or during that week.

I think some people, when they've struggled with their weight all of their lives, can have a totally abstract view of themselves (such as "I'm HUGE" or "I SUCK" because they had a cookie too many) and take everything out of context ("I had two cups of hot chocolate today, I've ruined everything!")but it's their (and my) reality.

It also makes me try really hard not to comment on people's food because you just never know what kind of internal dialogue they're fighting out in their own heads.

And you're right, people do talk a lot of crap all day long> LOL