Saturday, May 12, 2007

Have no fear! (shocking info inside)

I've written before about belonging to message boards and as I do, I see some of the same questions asked over and over and over again. There are two specific questions/comments that really make me chuckle though. I know people are serious when they ask them and probably just want to make sure that they're being healthy or whatever but I really about crack up when I read them.

1) Should I take ____ to jump start my weight loss? Or will this workout jump start my weight loss? Or should I drink only water and eat green beans for a week to jump start my weight loss? Anything that includes jump starting kills me when I read it. What is this jump start that everybody is wanting to happen for them? Is it kind of like taking a few steps back to get a good run before leaping off the bridge? I always assume that people who are asking about this "jump start" are really just impatient people who are in a big hurry and want the first 10 - 15 pounds to fly off their ass in the first week.

If you're overweight and change your diet and exercise drastically for a week that really should be a jump start enough. Most doctors recommend you only lose 1 - 2 pounds a week for a healthy weight loss. I believe its those TV shows that bring you people losing 6 - 10 pounds in a week are really messing with people's heads. In real life it usually doesn't happen that way.

This brings me to the second comment that really cracks me up...

2) I started slow because I was afraid to "shock" my body too badly or will this be too much of a shock to my system? Well your body may be shocked that you're finally treating it well and making it function but really... what do you think is going to happen?

Here is the dialogue that I imagine these people are thinking their body is having:

Stomach : God I'm bored. Throw me a freaking bone here.

Liver: (yawning) I hear ya.

Kidneys: Yesterday I was so bored I knitted an entire urethra warmer. I'm working on the second one today.

Stomach: How cute.

Esophagus: (yelling) Here it comes guys!!!!!

Stomach: Finally! It's been ages since we ate last. What's it gonna be today? What...wait a minute... what's this?!?!? That's not deep fried!!!!!!!

Other organs let out an audible gasp.

Stomach: That's no gravy....What iiiiiiiissssss that?!?!? That looks like light salad dressing. SALAD DRESSING! Is that broccoli? I hate broccoli! What the hell? Emergency Emergency!!!!

sirens sound

Heart (over loud speaker): Alright guys, it's healthy food again... sorry to say but it's the 3rd time this has happened today. We're shuttin' her down. I repeat CODE RED we're shuttin' her down!!!!!!

Now I don't mean to poke fun at people who really do have these concerns... well ok, yeah, I guess I do mean to poke fun. These are just two things that seem to come up from time to time that always make me laugh a little.

For the record I don't think anybody should take anything to jump start their weight loss and no I don't think you need to fear that you're body (or system) is going to go into shock. Feel free to start living healthy sans worry.


Bathsheba Freud said...

Ha ha - that's hilarious. I relate to both of those concerns. I mean, haven't you ever thought "If only i could be my goal weight now, then it would be easy to do the hard work"? I think that's what people want when they think of kickstarting a program- just making it happen so they know what they're working for.

And as for the concern that eating healthily might be a shock to the system- I've thought the same thing myself. Then i recall how much binge drinking and drug taking i did socially with nary a thought for its ill-effects. I suppose the deeper issue is a fear of change. It's a big step into the unknown when you first start a new program.

Ali said...

I agree and I disagree (respectfully) about the jump start thing.
Personally whenever I want to get back on track after kind of going off the track I am extra tough to myself - first of all because I am at the most motivated when I have gained a pound or two (to lose it again) and second because you want to feel that something in you life is changing.
I also think that it's good to detox when you start a new lifestyle. It's quite difficult to quit sugar and all the bad stuff and for some people going cold turkey is the easiest. The South Beach Diet (which I tried but decided in general the low-carb thing is not for me) says you should not eat any kind of sugar for two weeks to get the addiction out of your body and I that's actually the only good thing I found with the South Beach diet.

Having said all that I do realise that lot's of people use this jump start thing as a hope that they will lose all of the weight within a week which of course can't and shouldn't be done.