Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Not complainin...

It wasn't as bad as I was expecting on the scale this morning, which is kind of silly but I'll get to more of that later. I dropped 0.7 kilos or 1.5 pounds. Well done me! As I posted on Sunday, water retention, bloating, swelling and all the fun-ness that comes with being a woman once a month (well, I'm a woman ALL month, but you know what I mean) always makes you nervous for your weekly weigh in. I don't know WHY it makes you (and when I say you, I mean me of course) nervous because it's a legitimate reason not to see the needle budge (do they even make scales with needles anymore?) but even with knowing that it's logical you don't drop any poundage at that time of the month, it can still dash your spirits not to see the numbers go down. And we all know how much of weight loss is a mental game, so going into a new week with less than high spirits can be disastrous. Ah well, this week I am high on life... or was that the car exhaust from last nights traffic jam?

Back to my silly-ness. I have this totally irrational fear sometime that when I get on the scale for a weigh in that I am going to be back to my original number. It's not irrational in that it couldn't happen... it very well could and one day I could be looking in the mirror and staring back at me could be that 301 pound women I used to be, but it's irrational in the fact that I think I may have gained 26 pounds in one week. As nonsensical as it may be (and, yes, nonsensical is a word, my boss uses it all the time and I swore he was making it up so I looked it up and what do you know... it is a word... a silly one at that but I, now, like it) it is how my mind works sometimes. Now why can't I have the irrational hope, rather than fear, that I jump on the scale and 26 pounds have slid off my body in one weeks worth of time? I guess it's easier to have doubt than hope... if you doubt then when it comes true, or doesn't, you aren't disappointed because you never thought it would happen. When you have hope and it doesn't come true you're left wallowing in self pity, and sometimes a pint of Ben and Jerry's because you had that little spark of "it could happen" in your heart.

Which brings us back to "the bible" or rather "my weight loss bible". I haven't pimped out Dr. P in a while but I am still following his book The Ultimate Weight Solutions and am in the process of re-reading it again (for the nth time). What's good is now I am re-taking all of the self assessment tests that I took when originally starting this journey back in 2006 and it seems I have taken the keys (the steps in the book are referred to as keys) and ran with them, not to be confused with running with scissors, which I do not recommend. Many of the bad habits I had once had are now pretty much gone. All of the negative talking I would do to myself internally… vanished (for the most part). All of the ‘setting myself up for failure’ is nowhere to be found. Overall I’m doing pretty darned good, in the mental challenge of weight loss. Now I just need to get the physical, ‘put the fork/spoon DOWN’, ‘is this a portion’ part mastered and I just cannot lose (lose the game, not not lose weight because obviously I will lose weight).

And now… my challenge for you… off the top of your head how many sets of parenthesis did I use in that post? NO CHEATING!

I hope you all are having healthy successful weeks.


Jim said...

My gosh, how much caffeine did you have before writing that post? I felt like I was in a parallel universe with 37 thousand dimensions. Or maybe I'm dreaming and I'll wake up soon ...


Best wishes.

becklette said...

eighteen. (i made that up, but it could be right, right?)

so... you're saying it's irrational to expect that one day i'll wake up 236 pounds again and all of this will have been a dream? huh.