Yikes

Last week was killer. As you know I'm just back to work and last week was the first week that I worked during the day and Marco worked evenings. Sadie's sleep was all over the place and I hardly got any at all. I was exhausted. This week is starting out much better.

I still need to update my stats on the side but I *think* I am down a couple pounds (1 kilo) from my first weigh in. That said, I'm still having lovely side effects from the pregnancy like huge water retained puffy feet (not every day but about every 3rd day) so I'm not so sure my weigh in is a true reflection of what my weight actually is. I'm increasing my water intake and really watching the sodium, which I always have done anyway... and I think it's all hormonal because there is no rhyme or reason to it.

Another fun side effect left over from the pregnancy is good ole aunt flo. I had a period two weeks ago and low and behold, another one this week. YAY! That of course also makes me retain water as well. I don't know how long it will take for my body to regulate itself again but it can be up to a year. I hope not but what can ya do?

Food has been good. My eating, although not perfect, not that it ever was, it going pretty well although I can see where I need to improve (snacking at night for instance).

We've arrived!

Just a quick note to let you all know we've arrived safe and sound, with all luggage, dog...the works... and everything went smooth and, really, better than we ever could have expected a trip with a 13 month old to go. We're working out the sleep issues but otherwise having a super duper time so far!

My Tired Aching Feet

Broken Record

I'm still here. I'm still losing (or trying to lose) weight. I'm still swimming. I'm still keeping up with all I've learned at Novarum. I'm still hovering around my May pre-vacation weight of 117 (I go from there to 119 to 116 to 120, to 118, you get the idea) which is just pissing me off, really, but of course quitting isn't an option (AS IF!).

I have so many other things going on in my life that this poor old blog has gone by the wayside but I'm going to try to be better about updating it. In the end, I do want to tell my long weight loss story, as a whole, if anything, just so I can go back and re-read the road I've been down. So feel free to yell at  me if you don't hear from me at least once a week. You have my permission.

(and apparently I don't get emails anymore when somebody leaves a comment on my blog so here's a quick THANK YOU to those who take the time to leave me a little message!)

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

Missed one swim, caught another

Last week we had a team building event that included crashing around a race track in go-karts for a couple hours (did you guess that the team is made up of 11 men and two women? good). Needless to say the next day I was sore, especially my back! I ended up skipping my swim and laying in bed for a bit of rest. I think it was a good choice but it meant I only swam twice last week. I did get in a couple smaller walks for some added exercise though to try to balance it out a bit.

My Friday swim was awesome. I seem to be pretty consistent in being able to swim 20 lengths (1 kilometer, 0.6 mile) with each swim if I'm able to use my snorkel. On those days when I can't because there aren't enough lanes, I concentrate on just kicking and using my arms hard and making myself sweat, rather than lengths I'm swimming. It's hard to believe I've been swimming for three months now. I'm still loving the pool like crazy.

I'm getting ready to go on vacation in the U.S. for a little over three weeks. I will whole heartedly admit that I am both excited and scared to death of it. Last year when back from vacation it took me months, seriously 6 or 7 months, after returning to get back into my weight loss groove. I had gained weight while away and just couldn't find my excitement around it. I lost and gained the same 4-5 pounds over and over those 6-7 months and it's just been since February that I've been back at it, full force. I have been working so hard at getting into some sort of "condition" for my swimming that I fear missing it for three+ solid weeks. Yeah, we'll be able to swim in the U.S. but I don't think it will be anywhere near what I am doing here. I'm planning on going to a local gym to get in some cardio. I think what happened last year was that I never moved during that first week there. Non-movement just led to further non-movement and then the tons of the vacation was set. This time around within the first week I want to have worked out at least twice. It'll be tough due to jet lag and strange schedules, but if I was to succeed I need to work out a way to make sure I do it. I'm not trying to be perfect or even LOSE while I'm there. I'm just trying to keep the gain to a minimum and keep my head on straight, in a forward motion to meeting my goal weight.

So this week I plan on swimming four days just to give myself that extra sense of self and to kind of reiterate my dedication to... well to myself and my health. I'm mentally revisiting all of the ideas and plans that DEWY helped me with at Novarum so I have a plan of attack in place for those food issues that I will run into.  Next Saturday we're off to the USA and vacation begins!

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

Proof is in the pudding?

I know I just said the proof is in the pudding in my post below but it also helps to see some positive numbers on the scale as well. This week I dropped another 0.8 kilos, 1.76 lb, bringing my current weight to 117 kilo even, or 257.4!

I had my usual swim this morning and was winded and warm (borderline hot) by the end. I don't know if you realize this but the pool is cold in the morning. Like, so cold I have to tip toe around for a bit before I just suck it up and submerge myself, so getting hot in the pool is actually pretty difficult. Felt awesome! The silver bullets were at a minimum and the one I shared my lane with was perfect. He was slower than me and we had a good pace set so that we were never too much in the other's way.

Short on time but wanted to give a quick update because I'm totally pumped for success this week! Hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

So I realize this blog just isn't about the words. The proof is in the pudding (as long as it's no-sugar and low fat, right?

Well here is a little proof that I'm pretty proud of.

This picture there was taken at this time last year when I was in the USA visiting with my friends and family. (hi Rachel!)

And this is me this year 20 pounds lighter (but 44 pounds lighter than when I started at Novarum in late 2010). Big difference in my face!

So yeah, pass the pudding!

250's 250's 250's... SOLD! To the lovely lady right there...

Monday weigh in this morning and guess what girl got herself into the 250's weighing-in at 259.16 (117.8 kilo). THIS GIRL DID!

Whew! I didn't think I'd EVER make it to the 250's but BAM, there is was. In all reality, I knew I'd make it there but holy moly did it ever take it's sweet time. Slow and steady may win the race but does it count if the participant is nutso by time they cross the finish line?!?

What this means is:

• when I lose 2 more kilos I will be 10 kilos (22lbs) away from my all time lowest adult weight.
• when I lose another 4.2 kilos I will be in the 240's, with 249.9!
• I have lost 42 pounds since starting at Novarum, meaning I only have 60 more pounds (26.9 kilos) to lose to be under 200!
• I'm looking forward to the point where I have actually LOST more weight then I need to lose further in order to meet my first big goal!
• swimming is working for me and I freaking LOVE being in the pool!
• My Fitness Pal is working for me and I LOVE logging my food (this, in itself, is a miracle)
• All of the lessons I learned at Novarum are working for me!
• keeping up with making small goals and celebrating small victories is working for me!
• I am working for me!

Man, I am just PUMPED for this week! I plan to swim three times at least and maybe get in a bike ride over the weekend.

I did swim Friday but didn't blog about it because I don't know how to say 'pfffffffffffft' in more words than that. It wasn't a great swim and I just couldn't get into it. The silver bullets were out in full force and I felt I was doing more dodging than swimming. I did go to the pool yesterday as well for just a fun swim with my kiddo and hubs but while they were going down the slide I tried to sneak in some laps and kicking exercises. I managed to get my heart rate up a couple times in the hour and a half we spent there so I felt pretty good about sneaking in some extra work.

I hope you are all having healthy, successful weeks!

Is it ever okay to kick a silver bullet?

There is one silver bullet in the pool that's got radar on me, I swear. No matter which lane I'm in she seems to always manage to want to swim in the very same lane. Now I realize it isn't MY pool and it's not really MY lane but even with being new to the swim scene I know common courtesy.  You don't just focus on yourself, you have to watch out and give way to other, faster swimmers. You don't splash. You don't zigzag across lanes. You don't pee in the pool. These are things everybody knows yet some people don't feel they need to follow. This silver bullet doesn't move. Not for anyone. Not for anything. She starts out on her line and doesn't fudge one single inch.

Imagine my dismay this morning when I got to the pool and only two lanes were dedicated to open lap swimming. One for the quick swimmers, one for the "breast strokers". Oh and you know Miss Granny Pants (aka Radar) doesn't miss a day! Everybody fell in line according the the unspoken rules. We all went up on the right and back down the pool on the left. Even Radar managed to join in. How it came about that she thought she had to swim around me and ended up kicking me I'll never know but she did. There I was, swimming away, minding my own business and WHACK! I was already saying "mag niet uit" (roughly "make nothing of it" in Dutch) because it didn't hurt or anything but then I saw who it was. Her! Radar! My swimming nemesis. She did managed to sputter "sorry hoor" as she swam away but there wasn't any real feeling in it. She wasn't really sorry!

Later Radar tried making a joke with me about something else in the pool and I'd love to say I had some witty retort all ready for her but no... instead I didn't get the joke until about 15 seconds too late and by that time she had swum on. Doh! Foiled again! It's not that I'm not quick witted... in ENGLISH... but throw a joke at me in Dutch and it takes me a bit. I'll get there... but not nearly as snappy as I do in my native language.

I vow to you though... I'm going to get that silver bullet. You mark my word. That 90 year old is going DOWN!

Another day, another swim...

Finally managed to get back into the pool today. Granted it has only been three days but it felt like a lifetime!

Today's swim was... different. About halfway to the pool I realized that I had managed to forget pretty much everything in my bag, except for my towel, so I had no goggles, no cap, no snorkel. I went ahead on anyway and decided I'd just do my best.

Once in the pool made another executive decision that today I wouldn't count laps, since I would indeed be slower with my head above water the entire time, so I just concentrated on other things like making sure I could feel my muscles working with every stroke and really kicking my feet hard and strong. I alternated my laps, one breast stroke and then backstroke on the way back in order to keep my shoulders and neck from hurting.

It actually went really well I felt. I think I probably did as many laps as usual but I used totally different sets of muscles with the backstroke, which felt great. I think I may start alternating strokes more frequently just to make sure I'm working all of my muscles with each swim. I plan on going three more times this week so I'll have plenty of opportunities to try the method out!

Oh and of course, my Monday weigh in... wasn't stupendous but it was okay. I dropped another 1/2 pound, weighing in at 118.7 kilos or 261.1 lbs. My eating this weekend was fairly sodium laden, at least more than what I usually eat but it wasn't 100% awful either. For the first time in 20 days I had gone over my calorie suggestion (by My Fitness Pal) and I actually repeated that three days straight. Not my post proud MFP moment but I was honest and I didn't let it make me feel anything, no guilt, no shame, no punishing myself the next day. In fact, I hardly thought about it at all. No obsessing. Nuttin. It was kind of nice. I struggle on the weekends when I don't have my routine of "wake up, eat, go to work, eat snack at specific time, go to lunch at specific time etc." I am trying to work some structure to those days but right now it's still pretty hit and miss.

And that's all she wrote for today! I hope you're having healthy, successful weeks!

Awesome

Today's swim was brought to you by the letters A, W, E, S, O, M  and E. I decided I had enough of my faux breast stroke (since I don't kick my feet in the frog like kick) and did every other lap freestyle (the crawl) and it allowed me to add another 100 meters onto my swim in just shy of 45 minutes! I'm up to swimming 22 lengths or 11 laps or 1200 meters or .68 of a mile. Anyway you dice it, it's awesome. 

I've noticed that throughout the day, after a swim, my lungs feel the burn. When I take a deep breath it feels similar to after you've had a good, hard, long wail of a cry. That small little reminder of what I already accomplished that morning sticks with me until after lunch, sometimes into the mid-afternoon and I love it.

Logging my food with My Fitness Pal has been terrific. I've not missed a day in almost 70 days now. I log religiously and I log honestly. Most days I can stay under my calorie goal, although I try to get as close to it as I can, after all, I am SUPPOSED to eat those calories to fuel my body and the site has already created a deficit for me in order to help me lose weight. MFP gives me back calories for my exercise, similar to Weight Watcher's Activity Points" and I do try to eat half of those back although some days my food throughout the day is filling enough that I don't really use the extras. I'm eating loads of great food and I'm making myself aware of the caloric costs of my choices. Mostly though, I'm just loving it.

I hope by Monday I will be weighing in for the last time in the 260's and in two weeks should be claiming my space in the 250's for a little while. That feels incredible.

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

Another day, another 1000 meters (that's one kilometer)

Got up and got in the pool again. Swam another 1000 meters. Felt awesome. Not to many silver bullets to dodge. Not much else to say other than I think I found my "thang".

Good things can also come in 3's, right? RIGHT!

Today is a freaking awesome day of accomplishments and they came in 3’s!


When I logged into My Fitness Pal I was greeted with “Congratulations, this is your 65th day of logging in”. That is 65 days of uninterrupted accountability for the food that I am putting into my body. Like I said before, this is the first time in my life that I have felt mentally prepared to log and not obsess and scrutinize myself to the point of mental paralysis (which of course then leads to binging for me). It is going so super well and I have some serious love for the website. It helps me in planning my days and it’s just a bit shocking to see the caloric dent you can make in your daily allowance with just one silly, unneeded snack or lunch (not that the snack or lunch is un-needed, your body needs the fuel, but I’m talking about a chocolate chip muffin rather than an apple or some grapes). On the positive side, you can also see how great and low calorie some really wonderful foods are. I was actually surprised that on most days of the week I can fit some whole wheat pasta into my calorie range. You hear so many myths about “omg carbs” but they’re actually necessary for your body and let’s not mince words here, they’re freaking delicious.

Second huge achievement was adding another 100 meters onto my swim this morning for a whopping 1000 meter swim in 45 minutes! That’s 0.6 miles. Yeah, I’m no Olympian but I have added to my lengths steadily over the past month and feel so accomplished.

And the third and final piece of today’s achievement puzzle… I dropped another .6 kilos or 1.3 pounds and am down to 119 kilos (even) or 261.8 lbs! I am just 1.8 pounds away from being in the 50’s!

I am feeling so strong both in my mind and in my body. That’s a wonderful, wonderful way to start your week.

I wish you all happy, successful, healthy weeks!

Dodging the silver bullets

That's the only way I can refer to my swim this morning. The pool was more crowded than usual for a week day, partially due to the team swimming practice taking up the first four lanes and I felt like I spent more time doging the silver bullets (a.k.a. silver headed old people, men in speedos, naturally) than I did really swimming. It sucks when you go in so pumped with a certain vision in mind and then it gets clouded with blurred images of geriatric feet and legs kicking.

Not only that, within my first four, or maybe six laps, I had no idea how many I had swam, so I decided to not concentrate on the amount of meters I went but rather focus on getting in some good kicking and strokes. I swam a full 45 minutes only stopping twice to drain the water (or maybe it's spit?) out of my snorkel and continue on. My arms were pretty shaky by the end which can only mean I worked the poor things to death. YES!!!!!!!!!!

One little question though, is it mean of me to purposely kick hard and above the surface when a certain somebody at the pool passes me by so that water may (or may not) splash her directly in the face, as she NEVER moves out of anybody's way? Naw, I didn't think so either.

Feeling great! Feeling motivated! Feeling a bit chlorine-y and dried out but liking it.

Due to Marco's work schedule I don't know when the next time I'll be able to go swimming is, maybe not be until next week, so I have to figure out a time over the weekend when I can fit in some other sort of cardio and toning exercises.

Hope you're all haveing healthy, successful weeks!

Another day, another swim

Swam today again and I realize that somewhere around lap 12 I start to lose count. My mind wanders and I never am really sure after 12 where I was in my count. Did I just say 12, or was that 13? It's a "back" lap so it must be an even number, so is it 14, or did I really do 12? Was that yesterday? Where am I? Who am I? Was that an 90 year old in a speedo? Oye!

I've decided I need (or want) some sort of device that I can use to keep track. Maybe a simple bracelet with beads on it would work but I would have to make sure the beads didn't move back one way or the other. Do any of you have any brilliant ideas on how I can keep better track?

So today I did somewhere between 700 and 800 meters, with a slight change of 900, but I think not. Either way, my butt got to the pool and got in the water and I swam a solid 45 minute streak.

Have I mentioned how much I love swimming? Yeah, love it!

Hope you're all having healthy successful weeks!

p.s. I realized that I forgot to post my weigh in Monday... I was down from 121.? kilos to 119.6 (263 pounds). When I started using My Fitness Pal on Feb 19th I weighed in at 125 kilos or 275 pounds. That's a 12.5 pound loss since mid Feb. Not to stinking shabby!

Holy Busy Pools

This is the first time I've swam on the weekend and OMG I think I'll avoid it from now on. There wasn't one single lap that I swam that I didn't have to dodge somebody or multiple somebodies. Oh and to the two chatty Cathies who were totally immersed in conversation AND the water, how about shutting the hell up and getting out of people's way! They wouldn't move for anything! Here I am killing myself to try to be polite and they're yapping away, wading in the water totally clueless to the world around them.

Regardless of the that, I ended up swimming 18 laps, so 900 meters or .55 miles in 45 minutes. I'll go again tomorrow and if my arms aren't sore, I think I will be able to pull off twenty laps. I think I could have done it today had I had my own lane or only had to share with one or two people.

On a whim and with Marco's encouragement I tried on some of the smaller pants in my closet that have been sitting there waiting for me to get my act together and what do you know, some of them fit. He even mentioned how nice my butt looked in one pair! (you're welcome!) I still have work to do though. Loads of work to do but man, I haven't felt this great and positive since probably 2006-2007. I have a wonderful support network, a great plan, my heads on straight and I found an exercise that I LOVE. Can a girl have it all? Seems that this girl can!

Oh and for Mother's Day, I'm asking for a membership to the pool for a year. That'll beat any handbag I could have ever picked out!

I hope you're all having healthy successful weeks!

A new personal best!

I do feel a bit silly posting about a new personal best when I've only been at this for a few weeks but if I'm anything, I'm silly! Today I swam 900 meters!!! That's an increase of 100 meters (back and forth across an Olympic size pool)! Considering my first swim I could only go for 600 meters, I'm simply pleased as punch with this accomplishment.

Ready for a nice mental picture...

The reason my distance has increased so greatly is that I've started using a snorkel. So yeah, I go in, swim cap, goggles and now a SNORKEL, for pete's sakes, and swim. In public. You know, where other people can SEE me. I haven't dared look at myself in the mirror in that get up for fear of a mental recall whilst swimming and inadvertently drowning myself in laughter

Being able to keep my head down in the water has changed the angle of my stroke, relieved the pressure on my neck and shoulders and just made the swim so much more enjoyable... and that's a lot considering I was loving it already.

I will not be able to go over the weekend due to Marco schedule but I'm already looking forward to dipping my toes back in the water.

Monday I will have my weigh-in. I'm hoping to wave goodbye to at least one pound, anything more than that is just an added bonus.

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

Just keep swimming!

I've got a new obsession. I started swimming laps a few weeks ago and I've taken to it... well, like a fish to water. I didn't want to "share" on here until I was sure that it was something I wanted to stick with though. I'll be the first to admit... I'm addicted. I love it! I love the sereness of being in the water, in the quiet, with my thoughts.  I LOVE that the pool opens up early in the morning so this workout doesn't cut into any of my time with Sadie. I love that I can do it on every day Marco isn't working or works evening shift so I don't have to arrange any sort of child care. I love that it costs me a mere 3 euros for a swim. Most of all, I love that it burns a buttload of calories.

Combining this with My Fitness Pal and all of the information that Dewy provided me with is proving to be a really good formula for me. It works. I'm not hungry. I'm not binging. I'm totally aware of the foods I'm putting into my body and I'm remaning calm and collected throughout the entire process. Pounds aren't flying off "Biggest Loser" style, and I'm okay with that. In fact, I prefer that. They're coming off and that's good enough for me. I have time.

Currently I am swimming in 45 minute incriments because that allows me enough time to get  a shower and make it to work by 9. In those 45 minutes I have worked up to swimming 800 meters or half a mile. My goal is to eventuall work up to swimming an entire mile non-stop. This will take some time as I've never really had swim lessons and am just kind of floundering around right now. At some point I will probably hire a swim coach and take a few lessons just to make sure I'm swimming efficiently.

I'd like to use my blog to track my progress and share with you just how far I'm actually going. I think it'll be a great reminder of how FAR I've actually swam! So expect some more posting from me. (YAY!)

And yes, sometimes during my laps I do get little Dory stuck in my head... "Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming!".

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

Wowza I am pumped!

Good morning and happy Monday! Let's just cut to the chase here... I weighed in this morning and was happy to see I've broken the 270 threshold and am down to a svelte (hehe) 267.3 pounds (121.5 kilos). WOWZA! It's exciting in a few ones, in the "pounds" it's a barrier breaker, to be in the 60's but in the "kilos" it means I'm only 1.5 kilos away from being in the teens!

I've logged into My Fitness Pal every day and religiously logged my food and exercise and a few things have happened.

1) I'm keenly aware of what a tablespoonful is now. Talk about over estimation!
2) I can actually see where my "mistakes" have been made
3) I've regained that community feel of being part of something bigger in this world, and I'm not talking about my arse! Having somebody tell me "hey, I saw your food diary today, way to go" really can be an uplifting experience!

I've also managed to make peace with perfection (or inperfection), which, in terms of counting or logging foods, I've never been able to achieve. When I log in my lunch and see that I may go over my calorie suggestion for the day I don't panik and choose a totally low-cal, won't make me feel full, strict "diet" dinner (or worse, skip eating!). Instead, I eat what I had planned and just make mental notes for "next time". This, this accomplishment, I have to give the credit to Novarum. WOW. Really not beating myself up or panicking or freaking out or being super strict... I've just never ever been in that place in my entire life. The feeling of control and not needing to be 100% perfect when it comes to weight loss is so freaking fantastically liberating that I could spit.

So yeah, I'm in a good place right now. I've made some decisions and they're paying off. Well done me!

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!
(going to try to post some pics soon!)

Setting myself up for success

As well as joining My Fitness Pal for really getting a good grasp on my caloric intake and what all I'm putting into my body I've been making other positive changes in my life in regards to foods over the past months.

There was a passage in the weight loss bible (Dr. Phil's The Ultimate Weight Loss Solutions) that told a little story about setting yourself up for success and that may include making some really tough decisions in regards to the people you're with and the surroundings you're in on a regular basis. One story he told was of a man who took a different route to work in order to avoid driving past McDonalds and tempting himself. Another story was about a kid who quit working at a video store where candy and sweets tempted him and found a new job at a gym. Reading that passage and really taking it to heart meant I needed to make some changes in my life as well if I really do want to succeed at weight loss.

I took a look at one of my biggest, most fun, favorite hobbies that I have and that I share with a very close friend of mine and decided it was unhealthy for me. So for a time, I've stopped baking treats. No more cakes, cupcakes, cookies coming from my kitchen every other weekend. I will still bake on special occasions or at the request of my daughter, because she's fallen in love with the hobby as well (or maybe it's just the one on one time with Mommy) but to bake just because it's cold and I feel like doing something... that habit I have stopped. Even if the intention was to bake and bring the goods to work, you know one or two or five of those sweets would always creep past my lips and onto my hips.

I've deleted the many facebook pages I had "liked" that were bakers, cake shops, decoration shops and food related. I am mesmerized by the "art" that is cake and shows like "Cake Boss" and "The Ace of Cakes" but it's all too tempting to watch those things and not crave sweets! Sweets, especially cakes and pies, are a total trigger for me. I've stopped torturing myself by sitting on the couch and flipping these shows on. Who couldn't think of cakes when every other post on facebook is showing you a delicious treat? Nobody, that's who. It doesn't make me weak, it makes me human.

The hardest part was telling my good friend that I was no longer going to partake in our cake adventures. She's a baker, semi-professionally, 100% talented and we used to look for classes we could do together. From baking to decoration to just shopping around, caking was something that originally brought us together. She helped me raise money for a charity by doing a bake sale with me. We even practiced piping one weekend when she came over to hang out just for fun. The only negative part about all of those fun time were they surrounded me with triggers and temptation. I'm a human after all and I'm not about to try to prove otherwise. Naturally she was understanding and even supportive of my decision, which just shows what a true friend she is. We still talk and hang out loads but we just have other things to talk about now.

It's pretty amazing how simply cutting out a few visual triggers can make such a big difference in your mental health surrounding foods but, at least for me, it's worked wonders.

I hope you're having healthy, successful weeks!

My new pal

So I'm kind of sick of staying at the same weight that I've been at for almost a year (but yay for maintaining!) but I was also afraid to add anything new to my routine and possibly backtrack on any and all of the progress I made with Dewy and Novarum. I didn't want to become obsessive again. I didn't want to start thinking about food and eating all.day.long. I didn't want all of the conversations in my head take over again... I didn't want to risk binging after 'diet eating' for a week. (side note: It has been 10+ months since I have binged!!!! That's the longest stretch in my adult life. EVER!)

Then I remembered one of my motivations that I wrote down before my final visit with Dewy, to keep as a reminder of why I am doing all of this and WHY I had success at Novarum. It simply said that "Nothing is set in stone... this is all just one big experiment and some things may work and some may not. I can always stop doing something that doesn't work for me."

That pretty much sealed the deal for me and I signed up for the website My Fitness Pal. My big fear was that it would become a contest with myself to see how few calories I could eat in a day or that I would be super "diet minded" which is polar opposite of what I ever want to become. I want to be healthful. So I am sticking with everything I learned at Novarum. I am eating every 2 to 3 hours. I am keeping my mini daily and weekly goals such as taking the stairs, drinking only one coke a day (and I've cut this down to every other day), exercising 3 times a week, eating fish three times a week, eating two servings of fruit a day, only weighing myself once a week... I am doing all of these things and I'm simply plugging that information into the website.

What it's done for me is made me measure my foods, which I haven't done in ages and really needed a reality check as to how much one teaspoon/tablespoonful was!

It's caused me to plan my meals a lot better and a lot more frequently, which is also something Novarum encouraged.

It's given me a new "something" to be excited over in the weight loss world and lord knows I needed that.

I've been logging for a short time, only 10 days now but for 9 of the 10 days I have been at or right under my calorie encouragement (I don't want to call it a "limit" because if it's time to eat, then regardless if MFP says I have calories left, time to eat trumps all) . And even better, since my goal isn't to be 100% perfect (because nobody is 100% perfect) and I am still holding myself to meeting 80% of my goals and being happy with it, being under calories 9 out of 10 days if more than fine with me!

And that's what I'm up to now days. If you're on My Fitness Pal, feel free to add me as a friend. I'm weighinginwithmy02.

My first weigh in was Monday and I did manage to drop one pound (.5 kilo) so horray for a downward slope! This week has started off to a great start and I am feeling really positive about what this website can help me to accomplish. So hang in there with me... I'll meet my 200 pound goal yet (only 74 more pounds to drop!)

I hope you're all having healthy, successful weeks!

hiya!

I'm still here, I'm still losing weight (well trying) and I'm still feeling really great. I'm going to attempt to start posting my weekly weigh-ins and see how that goes, if I can really get back into blogging about my weight loss endevours. I'm making some more positive changes in my life and I want to share those with you when I have a bit of time.

I hope you're all having healthy successful weeks (and are still with me!)

The Weight Loss Bible

On top of the wonderful help I received at the clinic, Novarum, I still have at hand my weight loss bible, Dr. Phil's "The Ultimate Weight Solutions". If you've been a long time reader or have gone through any of my older posts since finding me you'll know that this is how "weighin in" got started. Even when I was getting help at Novarum they encouraged me to go back and re-read Dr. P's book and highlight the things that had spoken to me. The list I made of "things that work for me" when I was finishing my last sessions with the clinic resides in my "weight loss bible" for those days that I just can't remember what it's all for.

I've been in a bit of a slump when it comes to exercise. Okay, I've been a slug. Seriously a slug. For one reason or another (read: one excuse or another) I've not made myself move on a regular basis for way too long. I wanted the magic answer as to why I just couldn't motivate myself to move so I took out my bible and started to read. I only got a few paragraphs into it when my answer reached up and slapped me in the face. Let me go ahead and quote (page 217 last paragraph)

"Read this as though I am speaking directly  to you: effective weight management demands that you require more of yourself in terms of personal integrity, honesty and maturity. Get real enough with yourself to say, "I'm mature and honest enough to not play mind games with myself"."

I pride myself on being an honest person. I think of myself as a person with integrity. I can, in certain circumstances be mature (that doesn't include people falling or tripping because no matter what, I always laugh inappropriately). I need to hold myself accountable for the decisions I make or choose not to make. Yes I am a busy Mom who works full time but yes, I do sit on the couch for more than one hour almost day and veg out. I need to seriously get real with myself. I'm not fooling anybody but me and even I'm not that daft.

So here I am, back at 3 days a week exercise every week. All weeks of the year because if I don't make this change and stick with it then I will not be successful and not being successful is simply not an option.

Trying something new

Today with every food/exercise related decision I am going to make I am going to ask myself "does this help in my weight loss efforts". I've tried it a couple times already this morning and that split second that it takes to think of the whole "actions = consequences" scenario makes quite a difference. I've already taken the stairs twice (which is two more times than I usually would) and skipped my second coffee. It's a little trick my good friend Clare told me about, as she's doing it too, so we'll see how it goes.

I'm also giving up soda in all forms this week. It's been causing me stomach problems over the past month or so and it's beyond the point where I can continue to ignore it. Duh!

This, combined with my same efforts I've been making over the past year is my current plan of action!

I hate that this blog seems more like a report than a fun, lighthearted read about my weight loss efforts. I would like to get back to it. I'll try. No promises.